Them: “Okay, I’ll dial up a Spanish interpreter while we walk over.”
Me: “Oooooh. Can we call for the in-person one instead?”
*silence*
Me: *starts dialing* “They come quick, I promise.”
Them: “No. . . umm. . . it’s fine.”
It did not seem fine.
2/ Though it’s been over 20 years, I remember what it was like to be a resident. I also remember the dreaded feeling of an attending speed breaker when I was trying to get a lot done.
Me: “I know it takes a little longer to call an interpreter.”
Them: “It’s cool.”
*silence*
3/ Me: “You know why I like in-person interpreters?”
Them: “No. . . they’re great. It’s fine, I promise.”
Me: “For the shenanigans.”
Them: *stops walking* “Wait. What?”
Me: “You can’t really get into too much random mischief over the phone or the tablet.”
*laughter*
4/ Me: “Listen—don’t miss this teachable moment! Random mischief and shenanigans are important in patient care!”
*laughter*
Just then, Ana, our interpreter, rang us back and said she was on her way.
Me: “Let’s do this!”
5/ Moments later, we were standing in front of our patient with Ana. And yes, we asked about pain and difficulty breathing and more. We recounted the history of present illness and did key parts of the exam.
And all of that was fine.
It was.
6/ But peppered throughout were the shenanigans and random things.
Like how our patient thinks iPhone’s are overrated and androids get a bum rap. Or how his younger cousin put his cornrow braids in for him but always does them too tightly.
Ha.
7/ Or how next time we should avoid an IV in his left antecubital fossa since he’s a lefty.
Yeah. That.
And yes. I recognize that having in-person interpretation isn’t always an option. Just as I’m certain there are some tele-interpreters down for some shenanigans.
However.
8/ Any chance I get to see a little more of who my patient is outside of the hospital never fails to help me care for them in the hospital.
Yup.
So shout out to Ana and every other awesome interpreter — in-person, by phone, and all things in between.
Mm hmmm.
9/ But especially the ones who are down for some random mischief and shenanigans.
Because that’s helpful for human connection. And human connection is essential to patient caring.
And for knowing which arm to avoid when placing an IV.
Her: “Yeah, it’s been tough since my mama died.”
Me: “Oh no. I don’t think I knew that. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Her: “I appreciate that.”
*silence*
Me: “Had your mom been sick?”
Her: “Yes. She was.”
*silence*
2/ She turned her head to me and held my gaze.
Her: “Know what else she was?”
Me: *listening*
Her: “She was my mama.”
Ooph.
I parted my lips to speak but nothing came out. She touched my arm and smiled.
Her: “She was sick. She was up in age. She was all of those things.”
3/ Her: “But still. Before ALL that she was and is my mama.”
Me: *listening*
Her: “And if they was good to you? I’m not too sure it’s ever a good time to say goodbye to your mama for good.”
You looked at me and smirked. I paused with my hand on the switch.
You: “That’s in the script?”
Me: “Say what now?”
You: “What my druthers is when it come to anything.”
You chuckled.
You: “We don’t call no shots.”
Ooph.
2/ Me: *nervous laugh*
You: “Y’all be asking stuff like we got a say. But then y’all do what y’all want. Wake you up and stick you with a needle. Put some cold hands on you. Talk your damn head off.”
Me: “Ouch.”
*laughter*
You: “Oh wait. You do get to pick what you gon’ eat.”
3/ Neighbor in next bed: *yelling* “Buuuuuuull-shit!”
*laughter*
Neighbor: “They got me on soup with no noodles and jello!”
Me: *chuckling* “Maybe your doctor wants you on clear foods and liquids.”
You: “Or maybe your doctor just doing whatever they feel like.”
Them: "Did you watch it?"
Me: "I saw a part of it this morning. But that was too much so I stopped."
*silence*
Me: "Did you?"
Them: "I ain't gon' even lie. I did. I kept saying I wasn't but I did."
*silence*
Me: "You okay?"
Them: "Define 'okay.'"
2/ Me: "I hear you. Retract that."
*silence*
Them: "Know what? I actually don't even recommend you watch it. 'Specially not the real bad parts."
Me: *listening*
Them: "Plus you got manchildren. It'll fuck you up too much." *covers mouth* "I mean, mess you up."
Me: *nods*
3/ Them: "Dude was a hunned-forty pounds. Prob'ly soaking wet!" *shaking head*
Me: "Even if he was 3-fifty he didn't deserve that."
Them: "But got damn! A hunned-forty? Maaaaane. That's fucked up." *raises brow* "I mean messed up."
Me: "Nah, fam. It's just what you said."