Thread by @alisonlovestv

cw: pregnancy loss

I live in Alabama, a state with a total abortion ban, and was so overjoyed when I found out I was pregnant last month. I’ve been doing everything right. Stopped caffeine, took my prenatal vitamins, followed every rec. But I started bleeding on Tuesday.🧵

My partner and I went in for an emergency ultrasound on Wednesday and received the news we were dreading. My pregnancy wasn’t viable. There was a sac, but no fetal tissue, no heartbeat, no chance of having a baby this time around. The cells weren’t healthy and can’t be.

Because of where I live and the laws of this state, my doctor had no options for helping us get through this miscarriage. I could see in her eyes the pain and helplessness she felt in not being able to help me beyond a medication for the impending physical pain.

She told me it could be days, it could be weeks, but I just had to wait to see if my body would pass the tissue naturally. I’m at greater risk of complications and infection because I can’t receive any medication to help my body expel an empty sac in my uterus.

So I’ve spent the last 48 hours waiting for the bleeding and cramps to intensify. For the inevitable to begin. And it’s torture.

This is what Alabama legislators and their actions have done to people who desperately want to be parents. They have forced me to be in pain and grieve longer than I need to be.

They have forced my doctor to sit back helplessly when she knows there are medical interventions that could make this awful and unavoidable miscarriage easier for me.

But she can’t help me in Alabama. No one can. So I will spend the next several days or weeks bleeding, in pain, and angry that this process is more heartbreaking than it needs to be.

I deserve better. Everyone in Alabama deserves better. And I chose to share my story today so that our state legislators have to reckon with the truth about the impact of their actions. You are hurting people who want to be parents. You are responsible.