Todd Boehly has a reputation as a clueless yank. The Chelsea owner once asked his manager to field 12 players in a rare 4-4-3 formation.
But when it comes to the business side, he's got it all worked out... right?
Chelsea fans, stop reading now...
In a recent meeting with some agents, the American was asked how he planned to recoup his £500mil shopping spree.
Boehly assured them he could easily afford to spunk the cash because Chelsea qualify automatically for the Champions League each year, earning millions in TV money.
After an awkward silence, one agent explained that Chelsea did not qualify automatically, and were unlikely to make it next season as they are currently 10th in the league.
"That's nonsense! We're in it every year," Boehly chuckled, before excusing himself from the meeting.
After consulting his team, he returned a few minutes later and admitted he'd got it wrong.
We often joke that French football is just a sordid sexual psychodrama.
And this week has been no exception.
From porn stars shagging in stadium toilets to FA bosses begging colleagues for threesomes, welcome to another utterly ordinary week in French football...
Ligue 1 side Nice are investigating after porn stars filmed an x-rated video in the stadium toilets during a recent game.
The clip shows a woman luring a "random" fan to the cubicle for a bonk.
Where could be more romantic than the piss-soaked bogs of the home end?
Everyone's (least) favourite dirty dog Nöel Le Gräet has been up to his old tricks.
The French FA boss is currently under investigation for grabbing junior employees' thighs and sending them filthy texts.
Wayne Rooney's recent team talk about his "tiny knob" capped off an incredibly weird, sexually charged, and occasionally glorious career for the legendary striker.
From shagging grannies to spiking his teammates with Viagra, here's a recap of Wazza's wildest antics...
2002: After landing his first Everton contract, the shy young striker shuffles into training with global megastars like Francis Jeffers and Tony Hibbert.
But he's not impressed.
"I grew up watching them," he later recalled, but "so quickly I remember thinking 'these are crap.'"
2003: Hacked off at his substandard colleagues, Wayne decides to let off steam.
He's spotted frequenting a £45-a-pop Merseyside brothel, booking in marathon sessions with a rubber-suited granny by the name of 'The Auld Slapper'.