Thread by @UpshotTowers

Gareth Southgate is heading for the cuddly status of Captain Tom and Paddington Bear.

There's even a play being made about him, charting his journey since the infamous Euro '96 penalty miss.

But there's one drunken tale from Gareth's youth we'd love to see recreated on stage...

In an interview, Gareth's coach in the Crystal Palace youth team, Alan Smith, recalled a trip to Tuscany for a prestigious youth tournament.

After performing well in the competition, the youngsters were allowed a celebratory night out.

Gareth spent the night necking limoncello and tequila slammers with his teammates, before stumbling back to the hotel in the early hours.

In the lift up to his room, Southgate found himself with none other than Crystal Palace Chairman Ron Noades...

After slurring his way through some polite small talk, the future England manager turned a wicked shade of green, before throwing up all over the startled chairman's clothes and white shoes.

The next morning, a bleary-eyed Gareth awoke to find Ron's clothes in a soggy pile outside his bedroom door, waiting to be dry-cleaned.

His coach recalled later: "I can't repeat what Ron's words were, but I do know Gareth was very apologetic."

We can't promise a Gareth Southgate sitting sheepishly in your local laundrette, or scrubbing limoncello off a hotel carpet, but if it happens it will be in our free weekly email.

It's a 3 minute rundown of the funniest stories in sport.

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