ABODE Profile picture
Mar 2 7 tweets 2 min read
A woman was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work.

Her nine-year-old son came home unexpectedly, saw the illegal lover and hid in the bedroom cupboard to watch.

Then the woman's husband unexpectedly came home.
She hid her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy was in there already.

The little Boy says: Dark in here

The Man says: Yes, it is

Boy: I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?

Man: No, thanks

Boy: My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!
Man: OK, how much?

Boy: 😜😜😜$1,000.

A few weeks later it happened again, and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.

Boy: Dark in here.

Man: Yes, it is.

Boy: I have soccer boots.

The Man, remembering the last time, and asked the boy: How much?
The Boy says 😜😜😜 $5,000

The Man says: Fine, I will buy them.

A few days later, the Father said to the boy: Grab your ball and boots,
let's go outside and have a game.

The Boy says: I can't, I sold them for $ 6,000.
The Father says:😳😳😳😳😳
"That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... $ 6,000 is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your "SINS."
They went to church and the father made the little boy sat in the confession booth and he closed the door.

The Boy says: Dark in here.
😜😜😜😜😜

The Priest says: Don't start that shit again!

THIS IS MY CHURCH, NOT YOUR FATHER'S HOUSE

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More from @iamAbode

Feb 20
Husband: Babe I'm at the shawarma spot, I want to get for myself, do you want and what do you want in it? Hot dog or chicken?

Wife: Babe, never mind, I am fine.

Husband: Babe, are you sure? I am not sharing o, I have been craving for this for a long time and I want to enjoy it,
that's why I am asking you now, let me buy yours too so that we can both enjoy it.

Wife: I understand but I have eaten, I can't eat anything again, don't worry, start coming, it's late o, is it ready or the shawarma girl is giving you face👀
Husband: come on, mine is ready , I just want to ask if you will like some too.

Wife: ehn ehn...so you didn't even have me in mind before, you are all about yours, its after you got yours that you are now asking about mine, you didn't plan buying for me abi.
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My ATM card dropped on the ground and got so dusty.

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He led me to a customer care agent.
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He was confused so was I.
The right choice of high sounding meaningless words works just well. He took me to the manager.

The manager smiled at me and offered me a glass of juice seeing I was a potential client with some huge assets.

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The baby that was supposed to come was writing exams and someone said,

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From the reception table, my salary was nine thousand five.

I remember Engineer Ayo Adeife, I will never forget him. He said,

“Helen please can you leave your reception table for about 20 minutes?”

I said, yes.
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In case you mistakenly transferred Money to the wrong account and the owner blocked you? or you are duped through your bank account? and then later realized that you have been scammed or a mistake on your part? And the receiving bank is not cooperating?

Open this thread...
Many people don't always know what to do, so today am sharing with you things you do when you realize a page you paid for a service or goods is ghosting you:

1. Write out the Full name and account number of the page or person.
2. Go to the last notification your bank sent you after you made the payment (via mobile app or text) and copy out the "TRANSACTION ID NUMBER".

3. Go to any branch of the scam artist's bank (the bank you transferred to), and ask to see the CUSTOMER SERVICE in charge of FRAUD.
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Nov 21, 2022
After my WAEC, I went for computer training in one of those road side computer schools.

There was this girl, Charity, an O' Level holder, who was also taking the training

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One fateful day, Uncle Sam called me and said something that I'd never forget.

"David! Being in a serious relationship with the opposite sex at this age is not a good idea.
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The computer training center had two branches. Uncle Sam went to the extent of writing a transfer letter to have me moved to the other branch.
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Nov 16, 2022
*THIS HAS CRACKED MY RIBS:*

A husband and wife were arguing one morning, about who had better friends.

So they decided to
find out, _here's what they did:_

*Husband calls wife's friends one after the other.

*👉Husband:* Hello madam, my wife didn't sleep at home last night,
and I can't reach her, is she with you or did she tell you where she was going to?

*🤔Friend #1:* Omg! Noooo, haven't even seen or
heard from her for the past 3 weeks, I have no idea where she is, maybe you should call her best friend. Hangs up.
*🤔Friend #2:* Wow! This is very serious, I haven't seen her, but why will a woman leave her husband and sleep somewhere, what kind of stupid wife is that? I have always warned her to be careful and change her ways or else she will lose her marriage, she's so stubborn she will
Read 11 tweets

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