Froebel’s Gift
Froebel is an education theorist who invented Kindergarten.
The toys he created introduce kids to the concept of architecture. (Abstractly) #RaisingSunny
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The bare MINIMUM you should be doing as a father: (assuming you’re gainfully employed & kids live with their mother)
1. Work out a fair amount to contributor monthly for (Rent, School, Medical insurance, WiFi, Food)
2. Calling and texting back and forth with your kids daily.
3. Taking an interest in their lives.. has a new tooth grown in, which tooth is loose & how much is the tooth fairy paying nowadays, who are the new friends, who is the school teacher, fun hobbies and activities…
(CALL DAILY!)
4. Seasonal Shopping!
- Pajamas, appropriate shoes for the season (sandals, sneakers, rain boots, flip flops, crocs, indoor shoes)
- School sport kits
- Work out clothing
Basically appropriate clothing for whatever lifestyle the child has.
Before I had kids, I was ALWAYS open to dating men with kids. The topic of his kid/kids became embedded in our talking stage because I felt like it was important for me to see if this person handles his responsibilities or not. I also wanted to just hear how he speaks of…
…the mother of his child. SOME men think that ALL women cannot handle finding out that he loved her, loved his child & they resort to downplaying or thinking they have to hide whatever the nature of the relationship is. So opening that topic up & being open….
…to HEARING & RECEIVING his truth, makes it easy for you to figure out how to proceed.
Is there still love there?
Is he responsible?
Do you want to be part of this or not?
If you opt in, how involved would you wish to be?
Do you want contact with BM/Kid or not?
It’s crazy how the miss the “unemployed” wife part. Also perhaps “Stay-At-Home wife” as some men prefer it.
If you find me on my little boat, happily rowing away with my child, pull up in a yacht next to me and ask me to get rid of my little boat & hop on your boat with my baby,
…you’re making a LEGAL commitment to being responsible for BOTH of us…
When the time comes to get us off your yacht, don’t be shocked when the law ensures that you’re not just throwing us in the dark sea for sharks to consume us.
If you see me rowing 🚣♀️ along with as I am, with my son, wave or honk and keep it moving. I am not to be expected to leave my son on a rowboat and hop on a yacht 🛥️ to take care of you, only for you to discard me later. The law is in place to PROTECT from such scenarios!
I didn’t think too much about it until I heard my baby sister recount her upbringing. We were with the divorced woman & she was with the married woman. She WISHES he’d have left her mom too ngoba the suffering she endured living with our dad was hard for her to endure!
See our father isn’t loud, you barely hear him when he’s speaking… he also isn’t violent, but he’s an insufferable NARCISSIST! Entitled, does NOTHING, but expects king treatment. Contributed NOTHING, but went to work everyday… Serial cheater. When the kids started ….
…realizing this, they then figured it was the reason their mom was constantly in the hospital dealing with depression and other ailments caused by my dad’s BS…
I now live in GRATITUDE that I don’t only have a memory of him yelling/being violent to my mom….
Someone asked what happens in a case where a woman sleeps with your hubby & gets pregnant…
There’s no perfect answer to that, but there are OPTIONS I could think of..
- Leave him 😏(ok we know you’re not destroying your entire family cos some chic got pregnant)😏 now what?
Also the wording! It isn’t the woman who sleeps with your married husband! It is your married husband disrespecting your marriage & putting your health at risk!
If you choose the pragmatic route of staying 😏
- Have him take accountability for his mess & if he has any love left for you, he will. You’ll know every family money that goes out, you’ll be involved in the baby conversations, he won’t be sneaking to her and lying that it’s about the baby😏
- I run a CHILD CENTERED Household
- My child comes first
- My child eats first
- I do whatever I feel is in the best interest for my child.
It’s either we are together with that understanding, or go find you a child-free lady..
If you have kids2,I EXPECT that they be a PRIORITY ALWAYS… otherwise I want nothing to do with you.
I don’t care! I don’t want 2hear about baby momma drama, y’all gonna work it out, figure it out, put them kids first cos I can’t be around a man who CANNOT handle his situation
The SECOND you say your child’s mother is crazy, I want her phone number. I want her side of the story… PERIOD… When it pertains to KIDS, I don’t CARE about your excuses and pettiness. I need BOTH OF YALL to be GROWN & out your kids FIRST!