#OnRelationships With time, I’ve learned something about INTENTIONALITY from a partner.

I know people date for decades before they marry or have children & yes, while that might be what’s needed for growth, it might not work for some. Some walk into spaces with dreamers, to help become part of the “build”… to motivate, teach, learn etc, while some prefer walking into spaces with fully developed, functioning adults who have taken time to get to know themselves & what they desire out of life.

Once you turn a certain age & reach a certain level of comfort in yourself…you become concerned about different things.. The focus stops being about what others will think or say, but rather about the health & comfort of your feet..
With that said:
BLUNDSTONE(since 1870)😍

https://twitter.com/Koena_za/status/1648702975462834178

Cotton & Tencel combo make this fabric very breathable and durable… I can wear it with anything (dress, jeans, skirt)😅
Very environmentally friendly and the company generally makes good quality products that are long lasting.

Normalize RETAINING A LEGAL PRACTITIONER to help you NAVIGATE the implications of anything that might require your signature!

Lease, Loan, Pre-nup, marriage certificate, birth certificates etc!

All these “simple” everyday LEGAL CONTRACTS have serious implications for ur life! When you have legal representation as part of ur everyday life, IF/WHEN someone brings up the idea of a pre-nup, u agree ENTHUSIASTICALLY & then casually throw in the FACT that since you didn’t go to law school, u just prefer having these things read by someone who did! *shrug*

In my line of work, I have seen this play out OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!! He either takes the kids and hands them to his nannies & kicks you out OR has you share custody with his nannies & let’s you go be homeless, then goes to court to declare you incapable and unfit…

https://twitter.com/bonkers_bee/status/1632689876511473664

The scenarios of “the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed” mostly happens when there’s no clear prenup in place OR if you’ve gotten a pre-nup but made sure you adjusted it with your own lawyers to protect BOTH of you….

The bare MINIMUM you should be doing as a father: (assuming you’re gainfully employed & kids live with their mother)

1. Work out a fair amount to contributor monthly for (Rent, School, Medical insurance, WiFi, Food)

2. Calling and texting back and forth with your kids daily. 3. Taking an interest in their lives.. has a new tooth grown in, which tooth is loose & how much is the tooth fairy paying nowadays, who are the new friends, who is the school teacher, fun hobbies and activities…
(CALL DAILY!)

Before I had kids, I was ALWAYS open to dating men with kids. The topic of his kid/kids became embedded in our talking stage because I felt like it was important for me to see if this person handles his responsibilities or not. I also wanted to just hear how he speaks of… …the mother of his child. SOME men think that ALL women cannot handle finding out that he loved her, loved his child & they resort to downplaying or thinking they have to hide whatever the nature of the relationship is. So opening that topic up & being open….

Today on #RaisingSunny chat 🤭 Playdough

It’s crazy how the miss the “unemployed” wife part. Also perhaps “Stay-At-Home wife” as some men prefer it.
If you find me on my little boat, happily rowing away with my child, pull up in a yacht next to me and ask me to get rid of my little boat & hop on your boat with my baby,

https://twitter.com/iamerioluwa/status/1631966179425239040

…you’re making a LEGAL commitment to being responsible for BOTH of us…
When the time comes to get us off your yacht, don’t be shocked when the law ensures that you’re not just throwing us in the dark sea for sharks to consume us.

I didn’t think too much about it until I heard my baby sister recount her upbringing. We were with the divorced woman & she was with the married woman. She WISHES he’d have left her mom too ngoba the suffering she endured living with our dad was hard for her to endure!

https://twitter.com/ZAR_Matriarch/status/1631980585643114498

See our father isn’t loud, you barely hear him when he’s speaking… he also isn’t violent, but he’s an insufferable NARCISSIST! Entitled, does NOTHING, but expects king treatment. Contributed NOTHING, but went to work everyday… Serial cheater. When the kids started ….

Someone asked what happens in a case where a woman sleeps with your hubby & gets pregnant…

There’s no perfect answer to that, but there are OPTIONS I could think of..

- Leave him 😏(ok we know you’re not destroying your entire family cos some chic got pregnant)😏 now what? Also the wording! It isn’t the woman who sleeps with your married husband! It is your married husband disrespecting your marriage & putting your health at risk!
If you choose the pragmatic route of staying 😏

LRT: whoever i date MUST know this…

- I run a CHILD CENTERED Household
- My child comes first
- My child eats first
- I do whatever I feel is in the best interest for my child.

It’s either we are together with that understanding, or go find you a child-free lady.. If you have kids2,I EXPECT that they be a PRIORITY ALWAYS… otherwise I want nothing to do with you.

I don’t care! I don’t want 2hear about baby momma drama, y’all gonna work it out, figure it out, put them kids first cos I can’t be around a man who CANNOT handle his situation