Social media and influencers, and now particularly with TikTok
We have this very widespread behavior of watching yourself, talk to yourself
Social Media categorically requires a fair bit of ego, but this front camera day in the life of shit is a different monster
First and foremost, you're no longer living or experiencing anything, because everything is content
Everything is curated, everything is for an audience
Everything must be perfect within the definition of whatever "brand" you have established
But the bigger issue here feels like one of self-obsession, this is the parasocial relationship
It's most likely entirely unavoidable because you are literally spending large portions of basically every day looking at yourself that's looking at yourself
I would almost bet money that the issue with this guy was that he wanted to spend time with her, he wanted her to be filming herself less
He intruded upon the relationship she has with her other self, the self inside the phone screen
It's really sad, because she effectively found a soulmate
She decided at a young age she wants to live the luxury vagabond life and be a van hippie
And then she found a guy that she really likes, who's about the same age, who's good looking, who wants the same life
But because parasocial relationships are inherently bad, inherently toxic, it's always going to end up this way
I'm betting this is far more widespread than most people realize, as a lot of young women seek to become influencers
This is probably responsible for a lot of very questionable dating behavior among young women as well
Because you're inherently pre-selecting for men that aren't interested in you
A guy genuinely interested in you is going to require you to take time away from your other self
On the other hand, some scummy player who's only there to get his dick wet and eat your food doesn't care that you don't have time for him
Because he literally doesn't want that, he wants to get his dick wet and leave
I'm immediately reminded of the many videos I've seen of young women complaining about how many guys spend too long in the "Talking phase"
That's the part of the relationship that takes time, that takes time away from your parasocial relationship with yourself
Just imagine how frustrated guys have to be
You're a guy that found the perfect girl, the complete perfect match, who's also incredibly attractive AND she told you you're the love of her life
And it still isn't enough
I genuinely don't think so
The more I observe this younger generation the more I think the sexual behavior is downstream from this self parasocial behavior
It's a side effect of wanting to be your own spouse
No it's a thread about the ever increasing parasocial issue that's growing among young people in western society using this particular video as a jumping off point
I wouldn't say faux because to them I believe the relationship *feels real* but the relationship can't be real because again your reflection cannot reciprocate
I would call it true narcissism, but I think that makes this sound like a personal issue where I think this is more a cultural one which is why I avoided it entirely
A big part of why this thread is so long and why I care is because I'm starting to believe this is "just what the kids do" in the same way in the 50s/60s kids suddenly went to burger joints and listened to rock & roll
I avoided these kinds of tropes because of her age
Hypergamy is a learned behavior but my theory is that much of it modernly is downstream of something bigger, an overarching cultural quality something I'm gonna clean up and call Narcissus Syndrome
People ask why do I care, why put so much effort (lol) into this?
Because I want to do what nobody did for millennials, which is to actually take the time to understand what the internet is doing to young people, culturally and sociologically
20 years ago nobody asked what the internet was doing to young people, how it was going to influence them and how they would grow up differently because of it
Many of the issues we deal with as a people stem from this simple fact
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Thinking about the conversations we had about SAHMs and isolation and loneliness and realizing that there's something bigger going on under our noses that's making people feel lonely and singular
Genuinely curious how much of this is driven by relocation, moving for opportunity and leaving the first half of your life behind
Not only was it easier to make friends when younger do to forced social experiences like school, culturally it was easier too
Going back to married couples and SAHMs it feels like it really lines up with my last Substack about the importance of having a spouse you are friends with
Between SSRIs, birth control, drugs, alcohol and now Botox making you an actual psychopath, there really aren't many normal women left, they never stood a chance
"How do I find a good woman??"
Find one who hasn't but any of the above in her body
Wonder how much of this is legitimately responsible for how appealing non-western women have become for some
It isn't the culture, they're literally just not poisoned
Also might explain the rise of holistic hippie tradwife culture
It's an accidental detox from all this shit and suddenly young women who never felt normal or happy actually find that feeling for the first time because they aren't filled with pharmaceuticals
It isn't my job to improve your life, it's my job to improve my wife's life
UBI is a terrible solution because unless it's specifically targeted to married couples (it won't be) it'll further incentivize the destruction of the family
I have supported maternity leave to help improve the general situation for women and mothers
As for status on history, that's feminisms fault
Before women were allowed to be the great woman behind a great man, but feminism decided that you need to succeed like a man to matter
What I find interesting, and funny, and sad is that for all of feminisms rallying cries about helping women, very little has been put forward for helping mothers
But we know that's because feminism is inherently anti-natalist
The literal point was that most of the hardships aren't specific to motherhood or SAHMs at all but society as a whole and ignorantly pretending that isn't true kills sympathy towards your issues and undermines motherhood as an institution
Another thing I'm realizing is that women used to have carte blanche on sympathy because they were thought of as *women* but feminism equaled the playing field sociologically without equaling biologically
So women struggle but no on cares because THAT is equality
Looking at the issue of isolation and socialization
In the past we would have a social imperative to help women socialize because they have trouble with isolation and meeting friends
But now we just say "figure it out" because that's what we say to the men
So I heard an alternative theory about the TikTok ban that I found very interesting
Basically the idea is the ban is because TikTok is acting as an alternative education source for a lot of young people and allowing them to get around the Google content censorship and shrinking
The example used was medicine, lots of young people are finding functional alternatives to corporate medicine effectively pulling them out of the medical industrial machine
And I hate to say it but this actually makes sense
Effectively a lot of the alternative lifestyle shit we talk about here is making it much deeper into normie space because of TikTok by the grace of the information being crowd sourced, which adds validity
One of my favorite exploitable qualities of human nature is how honest indignation makes people
If you can make someone feel slighted while simultaneously feeling they have the moral high ground they will show you EXACTLY who they are and how they think
I use this a lot
I used it this week on the SAHMs because I wanted to get to the bottom of what's fueling the culture that drives women AWAY from being a SAHM and why so many view that life so poorly
And I learned a lot that's STILL shaping my personal outlook
I could have just asked "what do you think makes being a SAHM looked down on"
But I wouldn't have gotten the same answers, and I also wouldn't have gotten the same sized net
Being just crass enough gets you a lot more traction than being polite. Sucks, but I want data