"He's the love of my life but I left him because I needed more me time"

I don't even think this is a kind of selfishness

I think this is the phenomenon I've talked about before were social media is causing young women to have para social relationships with themselves
Social media and influencers, and now particularly with TikTok

We have this very widespread behavior of watching yourself, talk to yourself

Social Media categorically requires a fair bit of ego, but this front camera day in the life of shit is a different monster
First and foremost, you're no longer living or experiencing anything, because everything is content

Everything is curated, everything is for an audience

Everything must be perfect within the definition of whatever "brand" you have established
But the bigger issue here feels like one of self-obsession, this is the parasocial relationship

It's most likely entirely unavoidable because you are literally spending large portions of basically every day looking at yourself that's looking at yourself
I would almost bet money that the issue with this guy was that he wanted to spend time with her, he wanted her to be filming herself less

He intruded upon the relationship she has with her other self, the self inside the phone screen
It's really sad, because she effectively found a soulmate

She decided at a young age she wants to live the luxury vagabond life and be a van hippie

And then she found a guy that she really likes, who's about the same age, who's good looking, who wants the same life
But because parasocial relationships are inherently bad, inherently toxic, it's always going to end up this way

I'm betting this is far more widespread than most people realize, as a lot of young women seek to become influencers
This is probably responsible for a lot of very questionable dating behavior among young women as well

Because you're inherently pre-selecting for men that aren't interested in you

A guy genuinely interested in you is going to require you to take time away from your other self
On the other hand, some scummy player who's only there to get his dick wet and eat your food doesn't care that you don't have time for him

Because he literally doesn't want that, he wants to get his dick wet and leave
I'm immediately reminded of the many videos I've seen of young women complaining about how many guys spend too long in the "Talking phase"

That's the part of the relationship that takes time, that takes time away from your parasocial relationship with yourself
Just imagine how frustrated guys have to be

You're a guy that found the perfect girl, the complete perfect match, who's also incredibly attractive AND she told you you're the love of her life

And it still isn't enough
I genuinely don't think so

The more I observe this younger generation the more I think the sexual behavior is downstream from this self parasocial behavior

It's a side effect of wanting to be your own spouse

Normalization of extreme "selflove"

Straight men aren't given this, but you'll notice gay men are which is why they make up a noticeable portion of this kind of content too

You're probably right

But her self parasocial relationship means that true "alone time" is so incredibly rare as to be more important than anything else

It's self inflicted

This doesn't actually change anything

She's living in his self inflicted situation that is, in part, for her parasocial self, and stalling life indefinitely for it

Also the entirety of human history is built on young couples living in small spaces

No it's a thread about the ever increasing parasocial issue that's growing among young people in western society using this particular video as a jumping off point

It's pretty sure straight forward tbh

This is actually where I first started getting the idea of the parasocial self

They're obsessed with the person on the screen, the persona of who they are, it's one sided because your reflection can't love you back

It's unconscious narcissism

It's the entire premise of the thread, I literally went into great detail about it

See above

I wouldn't say faux because to them I believe the relationship *feels real* but the relationship can't be real because again your reflection cannot reciprocate

I would call it true narcissism, but I think that makes this sound like a personal issue where I think this is more a cultural one which is why I avoided it entirely

I can't imagine how you WOULDN'T

It's why I refuse to make any real attempt to monetize this account

I don't want ANY obligation to the "Skull King"

A big part of why this thread is so long and why I care is because I'm starting to believe this is "just what the kids do" in the same way in the 50s/60s kids suddenly went to burger joints and listened to rock & roll

And I think that's a problem

You'll notice that I never once said it was wrong

I said it was sad to find your soulmate and decide to leave them but never that it was incorrect

I have full agency and respect of that choice, intentionally

I avoided these kinds of tropes because of her age

Hypergamy is a learned behavior but my theory is that much of it modernly is downstream of something bigger, an overarching cultural quality something I'm gonna clean up and call Narcissus Syndrome

I want to differentiate from narcissism because by its definition narcissism is self aware and thereby a personal issue

Narcissus Syndrome is not personal, people are not self aware
This is what you'd expect right?

There is almost a feeling that we "older" people are functioning under a different set of definitions

If we take her face value and except her claim of love how does it reconcile with the older definition and behavior?

I promise I'm not trying to be mean

But even now in defense of yourself you are directing me to your CONTENT and self promoting

Even the wording feels a little overly congenial and hollow in the way an influencer would talk to up engagement

This will be the last thing I add and then I'm done with this because people keep bringing this up

You're correct, parasocial relationships are defined by lack of reciprocity

Why do you think she needed space and independence to go "find herself"?

I lied, one last thing

People ask why do I care, why put so much effort (lol) into this?

Because I want to do what nobody did for millennials, which is to actually take the time to understand what the internet is doing to young people, culturally and sociologically
20 years ago nobody asked what the internet was doing to young people, how it was going to influence them and how they would grow up differently because of it

Many of the issues we deal with as a people stem from this simple fact

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More from @GathererSkull

Mar 26
Thinking about the conversations we had about SAHMs and isolation and loneliness and realizing that there's something bigger going on under our noses that's making people feel lonely and singular
Genuinely curious how much of this is driven by relocation, moving for opportunity and leaving the first half of your life behind

Not only was it easier to make friends when younger do to forced social experiences like school, culturally it was easier too
Going back to married couples and SAHMs it feels like it really lines up with my last Substack about the importance of having a spouse you are friends with…
Read 7 tweets
Mar 26
Between SSRIs, birth control, drugs, alcohol and now Botox making you an actual psychopath, there really aren't many normal women left, they never stood a chance

"How do I find a good woman??"

Find one who hasn't but any of the above in her body Image
I don't mean this in a hurr durr women dumb way

They poisoned 2+ generations of American women

Wonder how much of this is legitimately responsible for how appealing non-western women have become for some

It isn't the culture, they're literally just not poisoned
Also might explain the rise of holistic hippie tradwife culture

It's an accidental detox from all this shit and suddenly young women who never felt normal or happy actually find that feeling for the first time because they aren't filled with pharmaceuticals
Read 4 tweets
Mar 25
It isn't my job to improve your life, it's my job to improve my wife's life

UBI is a terrible solution because unless it's specifically targeted to married couples (it won't be) it'll further incentivize the destruction of the family
I have supported maternity leave to help improve the general situation for women and mothers

As for status on history, that's feminisms fault

Before women were allowed to be the great woman behind a great man, but feminism decided that you need to succeed like a man to matter
What I find interesting, and funny, and sad is that for all of feminisms rallying cries about helping women, very little has been put forward for helping mothers

But we know that's because feminism is inherently anti-natalist
Read 6 tweets
Mar 25
The literal point was that most of the hardships aren't specific to motherhood or SAHMs at all but society as a whole and ignorantly pretending that isn't true kills sympathy towards your issues and undermines motherhood as an institution
Another thing I'm realizing is that women used to have carte blanche on sympathy because they were thought of as *women* but feminism equaled the playing field sociologically without equaling biologically

So women struggle but no on cares because THAT is equality
Looking at the issue of isolation and socialization

In the past we would have a social imperative to help women socialize because they have trouble with isolation and meeting friends

But now we just say "figure it out" because that's what we say to the men
Read 6 tweets
Mar 25
So I heard an alternative theory about the TikTok ban that I found very interesting

Basically the idea is the ban is because TikTok is acting as an alternative education source for a lot of young people and allowing them to get around the Google content censorship and shrinking
The example used was medicine, lots of young people are finding functional alternatives to corporate medicine effectively pulling them out of the medical industrial machine
And I hate to say it but this actually makes sense

Effectively a lot of the alternative lifestyle shit we talk about here is making it much deeper into normie space because of TikTok by the grace of the information being crowd sourced, which adds validity
Read 13 tweets
Mar 24
One of my favorite exploitable qualities of human nature is how honest indignation makes people

If you can make someone feel slighted while simultaneously feeling they have the moral high ground they will show you EXACTLY who they are and how they think
I use this a lot

I used it this week on the SAHMs because I wanted to get to the bottom of what's fueling the culture that drives women AWAY from being a SAHM and why so many view that life so poorly

And I learned a lot that's STILL shaping my personal outlook
I could have just asked "what do you think makes being a SAHM looked down on"

But I wouldn't have gotten the same answers, and I also wouldn't have gotten the same sized net

Being just crass enough gets you a lot more traction than being polite. Sucks, but I want data
Read 5 tweets

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