"He's the love of my life but I left him because I needed more me time"

I don't even think this is a kind of selfishness

I think this is the phenomenon I've talked about before were social media is causing young women to have para social relationships with themselves
Social media and influencers, and now particularly with TikTok

We have this very widespread behavior of watching yourself, talk to yourself

Social Media categorically requires a fair bit of ego, but this front camera day in the life of shit is a different monster
First and foremost, you're no longer living or experiencing anything, because everything is content

Everything is curated, everything is for an audience

Everything must be perfect within the definition of whatever "brand" you have established
But the bigger issue here feels like one of self-obsession, this is the parasocial relationship

It's most likely entirely unavoidable because you are literally spending large portions of basically every day looking at yourself that's looking at yourself
I would almost bet money that the issue with this guy was that he wanted to spend time with her, he wanted her to be filming herself less

He intruded upon the relationship she has with her other self, the self inside the phone screen
It's really sad, because she effectively found a soulmate

She decided at a young age she wants to live the luxury vagabond life and be a van hippie

And then she found a guy that she really likes, who's about the same age, who's good looking, who wants the same life
But because parasocial relationships are inherently bad, inherently toxic, it's always going to end up this way

I'm betting this is far more widespread than most people realize, as a lot of young women seek to become influencers
This is probably responsible for a lot of very questionable dating behavior among young women as well

Because you're inherently pre-selecting for men that aren't interested in you

A guy genuinely interested in you is going to require you to take time away from your other self
On the other hand, some scummy player who's only there to get his dick wet and eat your food doesn't care that you don't have time for him

Because he literally doesn't want that, he wants to get his dick wet and leave
I'm immediately reminded of the many videos I've seen of young women complaining about how many guys spend too long in the "Talking phase"

That's the part of the relationship that takes time, that takes time away from your parasocial relationship with yourself
Just imagine how frustrated guys have to be

You're a guy that found the perfect girl, the complete perfect match, who's also incredibly attractive AND she told you you're the love of her life

And it still isn't enough
I genuinely don't think so

The more I observe this younger generation the more I think the sexual behavior is downstream from this self parasocial behavior

It's a side effect of wanting to be your own spouse

Normalization of extreme "selflove"

Straight men aren't given this, but you'll notice gay men are which is why they make up a noticeable portion of this kind of content too

You're probably right

But her self parasocial relationship means that true "alone time" is so incredibly rare as to be more important than anything else

It's self inflicted

This doesn't actually change anything

She's living in his self inflicted situation that is, in part, for her parasocial self, and stalling life indefinitely for it

Also the entirety of human history is built on young couples living in small spaces

No it's a thread about the ever increasing parasocial issue that's growing among young people in western society using this particular video as a jumping off point

It's pretty sure straight forward tbh

This is actually where I first started getting the idea of the parasocial self

They're obsessed with the person on the screen, the persona of who they are, it's one sided because your reflection can't love you back

It's unconscious narcissism

It's the entire premise of the thread, I literally went into great detail about it

See above

I wouldn't say faux because to them I believe the relationship *feels real* but the relationship can't be real because again your reflection cannot reciprocate

I would call it true narcissism, but I think that makes this sound like a personal issue where I think this is more a cultural one which is why I avoided it entirely

I can't imagine how you WOULDN'T

It's why I refuse to make any real attempt to monetize this account

I don't want ANY obligation to the "Skull King"

A big part of why this thread is so long and why I care is because I'm starting to believe this is "just what the kids do" in the same way in the 50s/60s kids suddenly went to burger joints and listened to rock & roll

And I think that's a problem

You'll notice that I never once said it was wrong

I said it was sad to find your soulmate and decide to leave them but never that it was incorrect

I have full agency and respect of that choice, intentionally

I avoided these kinds of tropes because of her age

Hypergamy is a learned behavior but my theory is that much of it modernly is downstream of something bigger, an overarching cultural quality something I'm gonna clean up and call Narcissus Syndrome

I want to differentiate from narcissism because by its definition narcissism is self aware and thereby a personal issue

Narcissus Syndrome is not personal, people are not self aware
This is what you'd expect right?

There is almost a feeling that we "older" people are functioning under a different set of definitions

If we take her face value and except her claim of love how does it reconcile with the older definition and behavior?

I promise I'm not trying to be mean

But even now in defense of yourself you are directing me to your CONTENT and self promoting

Even the wording feels a little overly congenial and hollow in the way an influencer would talk to up engagement

This will be the last thing I add and then I'm done with this because people keep bringing this up

You're correct, parasocial relationships are defined by lack of reciprocity

Why do you think she needed space and independence to go "find herself"?

I lied, one last thing

People ask why do I care, why put so much effort (lol) into this?

Because I want to do what nobody did for millennials, which is to actually take the time to understand what the internet is doing to young people, culturally and sociologically
20 years ago nobody asked what the internet was doing to young people, how it was going to influence them and how they would grow up differently because of it

Many of the issues we deal with as a people stem from this simple fact

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Skull King Bjorn

Skull King Bjorn Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @GathererSkull

Mar 21
Buckwild stat for the night

Black literacy was HIGHER in 1950 during Jim Crow then it currently is in San Francisco Image
Literacy is a very basic metric and a pretty good one of you have to pick a yardstick to measure societal success by

This is an insane regression, almost cut in HALF now during a period of unprecedented "racial equity and equality"

How could that POSSIBLY be
Pakistan, Nigeria, Egypt, India, Indonesia and Bangladesh all have higher literacy rates

San Francisco has almost twice the GDP of Pakistan and has a 25% higher GDP than Egypt Image
Read 4 tweets
Mar 21
My theory is that we never evolved to handle a society where men and women are basically equal in number

Men were always fewer because we died, hunting, or fighting, or scouting or whatever

We're designed for women to compete for men, not the other way around like it is now
There's probably some function of Disney princess movies in here too, they obfuscate the reality

Princesses were competed for, but not because of them, it was because of their family, they were a means to an end
I feel like you see this in the culture too, in today's society women just have to show up, there WILL be a lot of guys

Yet makeup is crazier now than it's ever been, fitness crazier than it's ever been, surgery crazier than it's ever been

Who are they competing for?
Read 8 tweets
Mar 21
The number of women hotter than an 7 is like 3%

Almost none of you have ever seen a 8+, IRL, on the internet or in person yet you attribute this level of rare spectacular beauty to so many women

Bitch about female standards all you like, it's mostly your fault
The media snaked you all with literally fake and gay definitions of beauty, that's true

But you all should be able to see through that with relative ease at this point

That's accurate tho

4-5 is homely or ugly

A 1-2 is like birth defect level of unfortunate in appearance

Reproduction selects for attractiveness

Read 5 tweets
Mar 21
Seasoning Girl is proof that all men want is a moderately cute girl with a bit of a sense of humor who can cook

The entire world, mountains moved, for just that

Anything beyond that is unnecessary at best and coping for inability to have those basics at worst
That's officially my relationship advice for young women

Learn to cook, if only recreationally
Learn to take and make a joke
Maintain moderate attractiveness
Oh and don't be a ho, cookies don't undo body count

After that, prioritize looking for a guy that has a car and job and
That last sentence is important

A guy with no car but an apartment is more likely to be a wannabe player than a guy with a car who lives at home or with a friend
Read 5 tweets
Mar 21
This brings up a good hypothetical question

Would you support a Chinese style educational caste system that uses standardized testing at various checkpoints to filter out, poor or underperforming students?

Why or why not
The immediate problem is what do you do with the kids that get filtered out?

I'm pretty significant part of inner city violence is fueled by under 18-year-olds who aren't in school and aren't working
You could lower the working age, maybe put the first checkpoint at 14 as kids go for middle school to high school

But you also have a large part of the inner city violence driven by over 18s who don't work
Read 9 tweets
Mar 21
They don't you're being baited really easily
Black people absolutely was their chicken by rinsing and spraying, this is a legit cultural phenomenon

But there's a reason you have so many well framed videos of this for seemingly no reason
This is very likely, because the practice of rinsing off and washing off chicken does stem from an real beneficial practice from decades back during Jim Crow

Memes + parentlessness + public school

Read 8 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!


0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy


3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!