MissMatch! Profile picture
Mar 19 6 tweets 2 min read
A Perfectly Timed Joke :
🤔🙃🙃
It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the Image
safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather
Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather
Service again. 'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find
#justfunny
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.

'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely,' The man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'

Incidentally this is how.

Stock markets and currencies work
😜😂😄😆😃 Image

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More from @ShimlaHelpline

Mar 19
🇨🇭 NEW HOPE 🇨🇭

Recently, one person was admitted to a well known hospItal in Pune, for severe chest pain. He had an earlier attack in 2016 and was under treatment. The doctors suggested Angiography.

After undergoing Angiography at this multi speciality Image
Hospital, the Doctors diagnosed multiple blockages for which Angioplasty was ruled out and instead, suggested 'Bypass Surgery'.

That evening, he was brought home as doctor suggested his heart being very weak for bypass.
Meanwhile, after discussing the matter with
relatives and close friends, fresh information came from a friend.
A new treatment known as- EECP therapy has been introduced by All India Institute of Medical Science (AIIMS) doctors. It is Approved by the US FDA also.

Heart blockages will treat without bypass surgery
Read 6 tweets
Feb 25
🤔🤔 LIFE'S LESSONS 🤔🤔

रेड लाइट पर रुकते ही गाड़ी के स्टीरियो की आवाज़ कम की और
सिगरेट पीने के लिए शीशा नीचे किया ही था
कि आवाज़ आई...
बाबू जी एक रुपया दे दो!
खाना खाऊंगा! भूख लगी है!

लगभग पंद्रह रुपये की सिगरेट हाथ में पकड़े हुए, बहुत उम्दा
और तलब के मूड में,
मैं उसे जलाने ही वाला था कि इस आवाज़ से भंग हुई अपनी नशेपूर्ती की तन्द्रा के टूटने से
कुछ चिड़चिड़ा सा गया अचानक
और एक बार को तो उसे झिड़क ही दिया!

चल बे, आगे चल..!!!
फिर ध्यान आया कि भूखा होगा बेचारा,
चलो कुछ दे ही देता हूं!
इधर आ बे,
सुन तो...
जी बाबू जी...
रुक,
ले लेता जा..!
गाड़ी में इधर उधर पड़े पैसे ढूंढने लगा मैं...
नोटों पर नज़र गई...
सबसे छोटा नोट बीस का दिखाई पड़ा...
सोचा कि इतने पैसे इस कंगाल के हाथ में देना...
नहीं, नहीं...फिर मैंने सिक्कों में हाथ डाला...
अचानक दस रूपए का सिक्का हाथ लगा....
Read 12 tweets
Feb 23
🌾 How India Sees The World 🌾

The man who himself witnessed the deal between India & Pak has exposed the Congress’s double face.

'Shyam Saran, who was Foreign Secretary of India until 2006,in his upcoming book part history part memoir titled 'How India Sees the World'
1🖌️
has revealed that he along with his Pakistani counterpart Riaz Mohammad Khan had struck a deal on 🥢Orders of Congress Government to take back Indian troops and give away the Siachen Glacier to Pakistan🥢

But deal was sabotaged & scuttled by the then NSA MK Narayanan, who
2🖌️
saved India from Congress illogical stupid decision.

Sharan writes that Manmohan Singh wanted to settle the deal with Pakistan by handing over Siachen glacier for which all stake holders had consented. The deal was even consented to by the Indian Army, and mentioned its
3🖌️
Read 9 tweets
Feb 21
𝙉𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙜𝙞𝙖 *𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔*

sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs, ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇ... ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴜᴘʟᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛᴡɪᴄᴇ.

sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs, ɪ ᴡɪsʜ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ʙᴀʙʏ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ... ɴᴏᴛ
ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴡᴀʟᴋᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴀᴍ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ's sᴍɪʟᴇ

sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs, ɪ ᴡɪsʜ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ... ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs, ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴛ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ
sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ.

sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs,ɪ ᴡɪsʜ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ... ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ʀᴇʙᴇʟ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ sᴛᴜᴅɪᴇᴅ

sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs,ɪ ᴡɪsʜ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ғʀᴇsʜᴇʀ ᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ... ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ʟᴇss ᴡᴏʀᴋ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ
Read 5 tweets
Feb 12
🎯 HIDENBERG IS A HIT JOB 🎯

⚔️ Adani Group: A perspective you cannot miss GEOPOLITICs thru' ECONOMIC CLOUT; CHINA DOES IT ,WHY NOT INDIA ?

⚔️When the Adani Group replied to the allegations of Hindenburg, the latter retorted, ‘Fraud cannot be obfuscated by Nationalism’

1🖌️
There is a school of thought that says, that the Hindenburg report was a hit job, and Adani is a nationalist. Let us evaluate.

⚔️ Leave aside the fact that Hindenburg report was timed with the release of the FPO; there is a greater aspect to the timing. It was done when

2🖌️
Adani was to acquire the Haifa Port in Israel.And who other than Adani was interested in the Haifa Port?

⚔️ It was the Chinese.They already run the container yard at Haifa and wanted control of the entire port. But what destroyed their goal was that Adani bid five times the
3🖌️
Read 22 tweets
Feb 10
👩‍👦माँ की सीख👩‍👦
ईश्वरचंद विद्यासागर के बचपन की यह एक सच्ची घटना है। एक सवेरे उनके घर के द्वार पर एक भिखारी आया। उसको हाथ फैलाये देख उनके मन में करुणा उमड़ी। वे तुरंत घर के अंदर गए और उन्होंने अपनी माँ से कहा कि वे उस भिखारी को कुछ दे दें। माँ के पास उस समय

1🖌️ Image
कुछ भी नहीं था सिवाय उनके कंगन के। उन्होंने अपना कंगन उतारकर ईश्वरचंद विद्यासागर के हाथ में रख दिया और कहा-” जिस दिन तुम बड़े हो जाओगे, उस दिन मेरे लिए दूसरा बनवा देना अभी इसे बेचकर जरूरतमंदों की सहायता कर दो।”
बड़े होने पर ईश्वरचंद विद्यासागर ने अपनी पहली
2🖌️
कमाई से अपनी माँ के लिए सोने के कंगन बनवाकर ले गए और उन्होंने माँ से कहा- माँ! आज मैंने बचपन का तुम्हारा कर्ज उतार दिया । उनकी माँ ने कहा- “बेटे! मेरा कर्ज तो उस दिन उतर पायेगा, जिस दिन किसी और जरूरतमंद के लिए मुझे ये कंगन दोबारा नहीं उतारने होंगे। “
माँ की
🖌️3
Read 5 tweets

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