Thread by @dodoscreamb

#zhanchengxian vs allcheng

In which LWJ's "playing inquiry every day for 13 years" was him panickly updating WWX on the situation of JC's courtship competition and urging him to come back sooner because Wangji couldn't win this game alone 😭😭

His brother made a 3zun alliance!

NHS was using his brain!

There was a new rogue cultivator gang with an unhinged ex-DC in their formation!

WY COME BACK PLZ WANGJI COULDN'T BE FLIRTY WITH JIANG WANYIN, HE COULD ONLY HORNY-GLARE HIM AND NOW WANYIN THOUGHT WANGJI HATED HIM 😭😭

WWX was having trouble getting people performing the sacrifice ritual bcs no one wanted to leave jianghu now that JC was ready to pluck without his threatening shixiong.

MXY had thought about it, but then he saw JWY babysitting A-Ling & now MXY wanted to survive and breed him 💅

Every night, a sombre melody played from the jingshi. The disciples knew better than to disturb their young master, who was still mourning for his loss 😔🥺

LWJ, hysterical: WEI YING XIONGZHANG INVITED JIANG WANYIN FOR TEA TODAY AND WANGJI THINK HE SAID NAUGHTY WORDS TO HIM

BECAUSE JIANG WANYIN CAME OUT OF THE HANSHI BLUSHING WAAAA 😭😭😭😭 WHAT DO WE DO NOWWW WEI YING ANSWER PLZ THIS IS URGENT 😭😭😭

WWX, running around in the afterlife trying to get a good signal to send his replies:

The disciples: ah, such a sorrowful, poignant melody 🥺🥺 you can feel his sadness bleed into your heart 😔😔😔

LWJ, shredding his fingers: WAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭

WWX had 10 pages of strategy to send through and only a meagre signal so LWJ only got parts of it.

The message: act cool, pretend like ZWJ's action doesn't bother you. Then, corner JC when he's alone, show him that smexy glare of yours and tell him you want to give him the best

tea time he could ever think of, he'll never want to go to ZWJ's tea time ever again!

What LWJ receive: act like ZWJ's action bother you. Corner JC when he's alone, show him that glare of yours and tell him you want him never go to ZWJ's tea time ever again!

LWJ: Ah, so wangji should channel WY's "YLLZ the possessive bad boyfriend" persona. Ok, got it. Wangji can do this 💪

Plot twist: that "possessive threat" did something to Wanyin. Sure he glared and answered snidely, but LWJ didn't miss the way he blushed and how cute he was being kabedoned like a lil bunny.

He could have kneeled LWJ but he didn't 😳😳😳

That night, the guqin play sounds a little more cheerful.

The disciples: ah, perhaps HGJ was reliving all the good memories he had 🥹🥹

LWJ: WEI YING WANYIN SO CUTE SO EATABLE SO BABYGIRL SO BLUSHY BLUSHY WANGJI WANTS TO EAT HIM KYA

WWX: oh. So JC still had that kink. Phew.

*the other contenders*

NMJ: Your brother fancy JWY too. Are you sure we don't need to do anything? 🤨

LXC: Don't worry, Wangji can't even to greet Wanyin without popping a boner. We'll be fine 😌🍵

JGY: And our Operation Jin Ling is going well too. We're ahead of this game 👌

SL: How's our progress going?

XXC: We managed to book a weekly consultation with SLJ about building a sect from scratch! We'll bond with him in no time 😊

XY: The signal blocker is working wonders! We can even get a transcript of YLLZ's message! He said SLJ has a /thing/

about being praised like a good boy! And he seems to have a secret motherly instinct!

A-Qing: A-Qing will try to tap that instinct by acting like a spoiled daughter 🥺👉👈 😉

NHS: Listen. Our competitors are a force to be reckoned with, but if we joined force, with my wit, your Jin privilege, and our helpless didi persona, we can turn the tables for sure!

MXY (soon to be JXY): You're right you're right you're right.

LWJ: WEI YING NIE HUASIANG AND JIN XUANYU ARE BECOMING SWORN BROTHERS AND INVITING JIANG WANYIN TO THEIR PRIVATE CEREMONY AS A WITNESS WAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Note: i just find it hilarious that LWJ's screaming crying sobbing throwing up with the CAPITALS was expressed through his music alone.

In reality he still looked kalm and tranquil, the epitome of stoic grace as he played his guqin 🗿