Thread by @SuckerCarlson

BREAKING NEWS: President Biden has issued an executive order in the P45 hush money case.

"P45's interaction with the woman known as Stormy does not fit the classification of sexual relations. However, the review finds that he encouraged the woman to engage in a transaction involving psychedelic mushrooms, which adds drug charges to the ongoing case."
-- Joe Biden

I feel sorry for the 2nd grade teachers having to deal with P45 in the classroom.

Do you guys think P45 has figured out that Biden's executive order is an April fools joke?

"Husband complete 2nd grade classes and show me diploma. He say is much better than Epstein visa. I disagree and throw handbag with tears."
-- Melania T.

"All legal proceedings against P45 are to cease until he completes second grade education. He will take classes at a Montessori school of his own choosing. As a final exam he must complete the world continents jigsaw puzzle with no assistance of any kind."
-- Joe Biden

#AprilFoolsDay2023 #AprilFools

"In America we should not lock up children, no matter how old they are. This is not a pardon. As soon as P45 obtains his second grade diploma, he will be back in court."
-- Joe Biden

"Murica, Sloweenia, Sh**hole, Russia, Camera, TV"
-- P45 failing the test to name the continents

I don't know about you guys, but on learning that @StormyDaniels was exposed to psychedelic mushrooms, I no longer blame her for making the hush money deal with P45.

"And here we see an aging P45 running from office. Notice the heavy breathing as it overestimates its own stamina and changes course to the closest McDonalds."
-- David Attenborough

For more art depicting P45's future in the prison system, check out @EliotHiggins.

Now that Biden has ordered P45 to attend elementary school, does P45 still have to appear in court tomorrow?