Share this page!

Enter URL or ID to Unroll

You can paste full URL like: https://x.com/threadreaderapp/status/1644127596119195649
or just the ID like: 1644127596119195649

How to get URL link on X (Twitter) App

  1. On the Twitter thread, click on or icon on the bottom
  2. Click again on or Share Via icon
  3. Click on Copy Link to Tweet
  4. Paste it above and click "Unroll Thread"!
  5. More info at Twitter Help
Sucker Carlson ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ Profile picture
Sucker Carlson ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ
@SuckerCarlson
I'm a Sucker Parody Anchor here to translate lies into their TRUE INTENT and occasionally put smiles on faces.
Apr 1, 2023 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
BREAKING NEWS: President Biden has issued an executive order in the P45 hush money case. "P45's interaction with the woman known as Stormy does not fit the classification of sexual relations. However, the review finds that he encouraged the woman to engage in a transaction involving psychedelic mushrooms, which adds drug charges to the ongoing case."
-- Joe Biden
Mar 31, 2023 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
"I love you daddy. Nothing can come between us, even the thickest prison walls cannot sever the conjugal bond we share. I know you are innocent, you might cheat on the Slovenian entity, but you would never cheat on me."
-- Distraught daughter
thehill.com/blogs/blog-bri… "And as harsh as having your dad locked up in an American jail cell may seem, at least he is not locked up below the equator. My dad always told me that I am the only who can incarcerate him below the equator."
-- Ivanka's thoughts on jail
Nov 27, 2022 • 15 tweets • 1 min read
What is the name of Ted Cruz’ nightclub? “The Truth Booth”
Nov 27, 2022 • 8 tweets • 1 min read
How did Don Jr. lure Kimberly Guilfoyle into his car? "Hi, my name is Little Narco. Can I pay you in stock options?"
Nov 26, 2022 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
How does Melania Trump empower the women of America? "I know Russia land of loaf. I come from Russia with loaf."
-- Melania T.
Nov 26, 2022 • 14 tweets • 1 min read
What is the name of Lawryn Boobert’s latest movie? Image “Ramboletta: The Laptop Hunter”
Nov 25, 2022 • 12 tweets • 1 min read
What did Lawryn Boobert serve Mitch McConnell for lunch? “I can’t believe it’s not pink slime”
Nov 25, 2022 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
What is Marjorie Greene’s demon fairy name? Image “Stinkerbell”
Feb 27, 2021 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
LEFT: Don Jr at 2015 CPAC
RIGHT: Don Jr at 2021 CPAC DON JR: "Am I in the right place? This is the Meth Gala, right?"
Feb 27, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Product placement at CPAC - Part 1 Product placement at CPAC - Part 2
Feb 27, 2021 • 7 tweets • 1 min read
Mitch McConnell at CPAC pretending not to be at CPAC. I have to admit, Mitch even had me fooled. He is so good at blending in!
Feb 27, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Marjorie Greene delivering passionate speech on the 2nd amendment at CPAC. MARJORIE GREENE: "In closing, gun purchase background checks are unnecessary. But gun sellers should look the buyer in the eye before handing the gun over. We must make sure the buyer's eye has the dark spark and the willingness to pull the trigger."
Feb 27, 2021 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
Matt Gaetz and Rand Paul traveling back from CPAC. RAND PAUL: "My bowels are full of compost, can we pull over?"
MATT GAETZ: "No can do, siree, we got a date with Margoree!"
Feb 25, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
FUDGE QAREN: “What the fudge is going on with these ice cream scoops? You need to give me the right order, right this instant. OK, let me talk to the manager. If he’s busy, just tell him Qaren needs to see him, immediately.” FUDGE QAREN: "This is how ticked off I get about ice cream. Just wait until you see me talk politics with my skinny loser vegan little sister who doesn't realize that the Capitol needs to be raided again."