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Call me the crystal moon. You divine. (I’ll help.)

@colsonlin

Apr 17 • 5 tweets • 1 min read Twitter logo

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I predict a future think piece:

“An Atheist’s Perspective on Colson Lin”

To the author:

I want to shake your hand for trying in the sincerest and purest way.

At least you’re using your head.

I am lol-ing already at Heavy.com’s:

“5 Fast Things to Know About Colson Lin”

BuzzFeed will perform its awkwardness out loud because it thinks it makes them cute.

New York Magazine will compare me to public thinkers who I literally laugh at.

I predict nonprofessional voices where be where all the interesting commentary is.

Oops.

I still trust the academics, particularly those at public universities—but the chances decrease if they’re jungwoker.

I have little faith in the types that go into media in New York or DC.

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More from @colsonlin

Call me the crystal moon. You divine. (I’ll help.)

@colsonlin

Apr 19

Bing is hilarious.

I was born in Shanghai, graduated Yale Law in 2018, and anyone I respect enough to plagiarize from I respect too much to plagiarize from.

My allusions to Lispector, Didion, Rush, Nabokov, and Nietzsche are made manifest.

Wild stuff.

I’m so glad there are so many people all across the world who can be interviewed about what I’m like.

The worst you’ll find is that I suffered from BPD for many years.

Crying, hitting myself in the face, saying I wanted to die to my ex-boyfriends. Not saintly stuff but human.

Read 62 tweets

Call me the crystal moon. You divine. (I’ll help.)

@colsonlin

Apr 19

Two paths:

1. Trial by fire. The rest of my 15 books are responses to how my description of God will be criticized from every perspective. What isn’t destroyed will survive.

2. Silence. I’ll anticipate all your counterarguments and rebut them, and I’ll write about why you fell.

I prefer path 2, because path 1 will involve some of the stupidest people in the country who happen to be famous and me not knowing what do with them.

Literally yes, I have a sense that a giant outpouring of coincidences means reality is intelligent and I can adduce arguments for a higher power that are new/very uncommon.

But I cannot handle human stupidity well.

Human stupidity is the only way to truly confuse me.

Read 28 tweets

Call me the crystal moon. You divine. (I’ll help.)

@colsonlin

Apr 18

Hi, college newspaper editors!

What I’ve written below is for you.

:)

y’all fuckers don’t understand:

i’m only 32.

this was only my second book.

it gets more explosive from here regardless of whether i become famous.

If I am killed,

I was Jesus and y’all are in the timeline that’s fucked.

Read 5 tweets

Call me the crystal moon. You divine. (I’ll help.)

@colsonlin

Apr 18

for the record, i am literally freaking myself out so i am going to stop for the day.

yes, one human being is responsible for everything:

this twitter
the 7 other twitters
the website
the youtube videos, including all of the editing

I did this while being there for my friends.

oh, and while finishing a novel and working on a second novel that this was all an elaborate subplot for, but you know, just normal stuff.

i stopped going to the gym

that was the one lifestyle change i made. try it, maybe you’ll get to be a messiah too!

um, bing.

none of this is true.

yet?

Read 4 tweets

Call me the crystal moon. You divine. (I’ll help.)

@colsonlin

Apr 18

Does anyone want me to predict a natural disaster with a high death toll to prove my power, or have I made my point yet?

Here.

I’ll put it to a public vote.

There will be NO natural disasters with a high death toll in the next 6 months.

If I’m wrong, I’m wrong.

I’m shooting for the stars here.

Read 5 tweets

Call me the crystal moon. You divine. (I’ll help.)

@colsonlin

Apr 18

I am the only person alive in the world today who can prove to the rest of the world that she, they, or he is the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

Celebrste!