🧵1/Ω
$COIN Q1 unaudited earnings takeaways:

➤ thank god for jerome powell
➤ retail customers getting fleeced
➤ shitcoins are king Image
🧵2/Ω
I'll say it again: shitcoins are king. Image
🧵3/Ω
$COIN is saying assets on platform are up 62% because more people moved their crypto onto Coinbase but... isn't the price of BTC and ETH also up like 70%? Image
🧵4/Ω
On the expense side $COIN's big layoffs in early January 2023 definitely showing up in the numbers bigtime. Image
🧵5/Ω
This program "Coinbase Borrow" is unsecured loans against crypto collateral (sort of) and will be discontinued as of May 10th (announcement was yesterday).

@HarrieScarlet pointed out most people thought this was a small # but $400 million in exposure is not small. Image
🧵6/Ω
$COIN provided vague "outlook". Remember this is an preliminary announcement and not an SEC filing so they can say kinda whatever they want, within reason.

tl;dr they are predicting big drop in revenue and higher costs.

god help them if the price of crypto falls again Image
🧵7/Ω
Also I couldn't help but be troubled by the fact that the federal reserve and the taxpayer bailed out such a piece of shit company, bc if Circle had lost $3.3bn in #SVB's collapse like it should have, $COIN would be totally rekt. Image
🧵8/Ω
Think about that anon the next time some crypto bro is trying to tell you about "operation chokepoint".

I leave you with this:
🧵9/Ω
This is an important point. $COIN total trading volume was completely flat and yet they are making 15% more in fees.

That $50 million in new revenue came from the higher take rate Coinbase has on shitcoins, either bc more degneracy or higher fees.

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More from @Cryptadamist

May 5
❓ I'm just going to throw out there that I find the fact that $COIN somehow registered *exactly* the same overall trading volume for 2022-Q4 and 2023-Q1 is kind of... unsettling. almost as if someone planned it that way. or washed it that way, as the case may be... Image
i mean coincidences like this definitely do happen, so this isn't necessarily an accusation... but seriously these were two extremely different quarters with a LOT going on (FTX, USDC de-peg, Binance kicked off the dollar system, etc.) And there's no movement?
I decided to test this theory by looking at the quarterly on chain activity for the big tokens on the ethereum chain to see if they also stayed flat as a kind of imperfect proxy. they stayed more flat than i would have guessed but still... have a look. $COIN
Ω👇Ω ImageImageImage
Read 4 tweets
May 4
🚨Ω🚨
$CUBI is now one of the most exposed banks, if not the single most crypto exposed bank, in the United States. They're also relying on brokered deposits to stay solvent, meaning they have to pay the highest interest rate of any bank or risk losing their deposits.

ngmi
🧵2/Ω
$CUBI is running the same game as $SBNY. Not even just the same game - they're literally running the same software. #TassatPay is just rebranded #SigNET. It's the kind of platform money launderers have wet dreams about.
🧵3/Ω
About $CUBI's brokered deposits game... They don't even have someone to negotiate with because #MaxMyInterest is apparently fully automated. In other words, #CodeIsLOL.
Read 10 tweets
May 4
@Teutoburg1 just highlighted some of Circle's SPAC filing about "Circle Yield" & I have some questions:

1. Who is the "investment partner" into which "Circle Bermuda" invests the borrowed USDC?
2. Why Bermuda?
3. How big are the loans? Image
🧵 /2
I'm just going to highlight a few things:

1. Tether's banks and FTX are/were both in Bermuda.

2. There are rumors that Tether is somehow using USDC as backing for USDT, which would explain the fact that somehow USDT & USDC treasuries match.
🧵/3
Remember this?
coindesk.com/business/2021/…
Read 4 tweets
May 3
🚨 I went digging in $COIN's annual report for info on this now discontinued "Coinbase Borrow" program. I learned:

1. Coinbase is loaning out money it borrowed from [???]

2. These loans are prolly not actually legally secured at all, even by crypto. Wow. @LossiaMichael

Ω👇Ω Image
@LossiaMichael consider the ramifications of what this really means... bc i think it means that $COIN's customers are actually what's backstopping these loans.
also if anyone has accounting skillz i'm v. curious about this:
Read 5 tweets
May 3
Wacky Cathie doing basically singlehandedly keeping the price of $COIN propped up at $50. Seems like she's doing her best to emulate her mentor, Bill Hwang the market manipulating felon.

Or maybe Jesus told her to do it.
$ARKK $ARKF $ARKQ $PRNT ImageImageImage
Wacky Cathie bought 150,000 shares of $COIN yesterday, 147,000 today. Roughly $7.5mm. That's 1.25% and 0.9% of the entire market volume for each day, respectively.

Take out the algos and the market makers and she really is the force keeping the price up.
$COIN is:

➤ 5.86% of $ARKK ($394 million)
➤ 8.55% of $ARKF ($64 million)
➤ 7.37% of $ARKW ($82 million)

So for $ARKK she's adding ~2% to her position per day. ImageImageImage
Read 4 tweets
Apr 28
"SBNY intended to pledge these loans to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York as collateral for Discount Window lending. However, FRB would not accept the loans as collateral because they were not eligible as many of them had foreign limited partners."

#fundbanking ftw Image
the jokers at $SBNY tried to lobby and/or sue their way into forcing the federal reserve system of the United States to illegally accept loans made to foreign venture capitalists as collateral. you can't make this stuff up. @Frances_Coppola @davidgerard @ahcastor @thebankzhar
Read 4 tweets

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