Thread by @gemmagould

In light of Anne Widdecombe’s abhorrent comments and the rise of food poverty I feel it necessary to have an open honest discussion about malnourishment in early years and the affect it can have. #FoodPoverty a thread /1

Please do not mistake this. I am not looking for anyone’s sympathy the events happened along time ago I am using my own experience to raise awareness of the wider issue at hand. /2

I myself know, not on any conscious level, what it is like to be profoundly hungry, to be malnourished to the point of muscle wastage. I don’t remember it but I live with it daily. /3

I was starved as a pre-verbal child. I was hospitalised with Marasmus on numerous occasions I was under the age of 1. While living in a mother and baby unit I was observed by wardens scavenging food from the bins /4

I went into care at aged 14 months I tell you the age as it is important in the overall picture of what the long lasting affects of food deprivation are. I spent around a year with wonderful foster parents. I was fed regularly. /5

At aged 2.5 years I was adopted into a wonderful loving family – I consider myself extremely fortunate.
I was given 3 square meals a day regularly. They never skipped a meal. /6

Despite this when I first arrived into my family I would swallow my food whole I barely chewed anything as I was unsure the food supply would last long. /7

My father spent a considerable amount of time teaching me to chew my food. Sitting patiently ensuring I actually ate my food that I didn’t just wolf it down. I had already by this point had over a year of regular meals yet I was still suspicious. /8

At around aged 11 or so I developed an unhealthy relationship with food. Hindsight tells me this had always been there but I became more aware of it. I would overindulge at times and underindulge at others. /9

As this manifested itself during my teens it turned into an eating disorder. I would eat begrudgingly as little as I could get away with. In my late teens/early adulthood I would purge myself there was a guilt around eating. /10

I ate because I had to not because I wanted to. It got to a point where if I didn’t voluntarily purge myself my body would reject food. /11

I conquered my ED, but my unhealthy relationship with food continued. I would only eat once a day – this is not because I didn’t have access to food I did it was because I was ambivalent about food. I ate because I had to not because I necessarily wanted to /12

I was unaware of my early years and the trauma suffered it was not until my mid 20s that I found out. This gave me a certain awareness around why I had always struggled with the concept of food as something that can be enjoyed rather than a necessity. /13

Only recently have I started to accept the concept of 3 meals a day. As an adult I still struggle with the idea of eating regularly. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy food it’s to say that the idea is still alien to me. /14

There are days where I eat because I have to not because I want to. I still rush my meals and often have to remind myself to chew. Having to cook for others has in a way helped me with this. /15

For the basis of my point it doesn’t matter that I grew up in a loving family that provided for me from aged 2.5 years onwards the damage was already done when I was pre-verbal and left to starve and scavenge for myself. /16

Now admittedly my issue was “man-made” as such. It was an active choice by a “caregiver” not feeding me out of cruelty & neglect but the fact remains that food poverty/malnourishment/starvation can & does lead to lifelong issues with food. /17

It is not just physical it is psychological as well. My scars have healed, my marasmus has gone but the unhealthy relationship with food that I have had for over 38 years remains. /18

This is not the fault of my loving family ( I do not refer to them as my adopted family they are my family) this is down to a pre-verbal experience that has had long-lasting psychological damage. /19

Children who, through no fault of their own or their parents for that matter, are food deprived are increasingly likely to develop issues with food whether that be overeating, undereating, eating the “wrong” types of food or a guilt from eating etc. /20

So when you see these politicians parading themselves telling us to eat something else and that having food is not a right please bear in mind they are in a position to do something. /21

They choose not to and their choices will potentially lead to hundreds of children suffering later in life through no fault of their own. We need to end Food Poverty no child should go hungry /22