Read on Twitter
No viral attention ever.
I keep wanting it and not wanting it. I atone for wanting it.
I keep wanting it and not wanting it. I atone for wanting it.
The other argument I’m developing is:
- reason as a higher power
i.e. being unreasonable will get you some of the way, but the human capacity for reason induces a species-wide gravity that results in a draw towards reason over time, meaning, your unreasonability is NOT stable.
- reason as a higher power
i.e. being unreasonable will get you some of the way, but the human capacity for reason induces a species-wide gravity that results in a draw towards reason over time, meaning, your unreasonability is NOT stable.
unreasonability’s instability makes it less powerful than reason.
humans are bound to be unreasonable.
fuck.
there’s another higher power for ya.
humans are bound to be unreasonable.
fuck.
there’s another higher power for ya.
but can we ALL AGREE it would be a little bit interesting to see how
- bow to reason
- stop being hypocrites
- the elites are fucking up more than popular narratives even understand
being things that america now has to confront would be?
i dunno
dynamite, fucking a.
- bow to reason
- stop being hypocrites
- the elites are fucking up more than popular narratives even understand
being things that america now has to confront would be?
i dunno
dynamite, fucking a.
honestly on a human level what i’m about to say will annoy me
but on every other level i’d love it
what if some powerful person took all my ideas (but the whole enchilada, they’re packed together perfectly) and mainstreamed it
without ever crediting me
i would DIE & LOVE IT.
but on every other level i’d love it
what if some powerful person took all my ideas (but the whole enchilada, they’re packed together perfectly) and mainstreamed it
without ever crediting me
i would DIE & LOVE IT.
like right down to…
who can i even vaguely trust with this
fucking A
toni morrison is back on earth and she is now the second coming of jesus christ.
holy shit.
that’d be fucking intense and weird.
“but it’s a postmodern art project, yall.”
that is a little bit less scary
who can i even vaguely trust with this
fucking A
toni morrison is back on earth and she is now the second coming of jesus christ.
holy shit.
that’d be fucking intense and weird.
“but it’s a postmodern art project, yall.”
that is a little bit less scary
ok now i can see from the perspective of not being first-person to all this how disturbing and weird this all is.
yeah.
fucking A, this is a postmodern art project gone off the walls.
which postmodernity allows so what the fuck is that god-sized hole you have there mister.
yeah.
fucking A, this is a postmodern art project gone off the walls.
which postmodernity allows so what the fuck is that god-sized hole you have there mister.
if mathematics was dead, the first person to say “2+2=4” would gain a lot of power!
this is just that, but next-level in every single way.
this is just that, but next-level in every single way.
“What are you going on about right now?” —some random stranger on the internet
hi.
if you don’t know what i’m talking about, you’ve caught me on page 1168 of the book.
start at the beginning of the book if you want an answer to your question.
if you don’t, just go away.
hi.
if you don’t know what i’m talking about, you’ve caught me on page 1168 of the book.
start at the beginning of the book if you want an answer to your question.
if you don’t, just go away.
pamela anderson!
i can see her killing this too.
“so i have a new project to announce. it’s kind of weird—it’s called ‘a stick of dynamite in the american elite,’ and it’s a book i wrote backwards that consists of multiple narratives, several different proofs of god, a logica—”
i can see her killing this too.
“so i have a new project to announce. it’s kind of weird—it’s called ‘a stick of dynamite in the american elite,’ and it’s a book i wrote backwards that consists of multiple narratives, several different proofs of god, a logica—”
ok, actually, the more i think about pamela anderson doing this, the more i can tap into how confused/vaguely disturbed anyone reading me who’s not me is.
fucking A.
pamela, what are you saying?
“well, look. i have these things here where it looks like i predicted the future—”
fucking A.
pamela, what are you saying?
“well, look. i have these things here where it looks like i predicted the future—”
pamela, stop, is this a troll?
“so there’s the ‘library of babel’ argument for god. god is shared power by the way, power is metaphysical since it can be derived as a literal derivative of ‘identities’ through time, satan is hoarded power, by the way, i think we’re possessed—”
“so there’s the ‘library of babel’ argument for god. god is shared power by the way, power is metaphysical since it can be derived as a literal derivative of ‘identities’ through time, satan is hoarded power, by the way, i think we’re possessed—”
pamela, you’ve gone nutty.
“actually, if you pay attention to how funny and self-aware i am, i’m going to draw you in like a self-referential hypnosis.”
i can’t. i don’t believe you.
“logical progression girders my steel. just try to destroy me. all of america. just try.”
“actually, if you pay attention to how funny and self-aware i am, i’m going to draw you in like a self-referential hypnosis.”
i can’t. i don’t believe you.
“logical progression girders my steel. just try to destroy me. all of america. just try.”
uhh, why are the newspapers saying they’re having trouble destroying pamela anderson’s philosophical observations?
“i’m not actually saying i’m the second coming of jesus christ,” pamela continues, “but now that i have the momentum behind me, all i have to do is continue to perform miracles. here’s another miracle: you can use the ‘sophie’s choice’ argument to prove objective morality.”
but pamela, people disagree.
“moral truth isn’t popular vote. fuck popular authority. empirical observations about human nature can reveal moral truth either directly—the humans got it right—or obliquely—the humans got it wrong and here’s how you know: you can interrogate them.”
“moral truth isn’t popular vote. fuck popular authority. empirical observations about human nature can reveal moral truth either directly—the humans got it right—or obliquely—the humans got it wrong and here’s how you know: you can interrogate them.”
pamela, what are you saying?
“my observations are transcendently powerful because i’m just channeling them.”
pamela go away, this is a trick.
“even if you believe i’m tricking you, i’m establishing the same truths about the nature of trickery.”
wtf
“it’s self-referential.”
“my observations are transcendently powerful because i’m just channeling them.”
pamela go away, this is a trick.
“even if you believe i’m tricking you, i’m establishing the same truths about the nature of trickery.”
wtf
“it’s self-referential.”
pamela, i’m never going to call you the second coming of jesus christ.
“that’s okay! because i’ve cornered humanity into 2 tribes: i’m the second coming of jesus, or i’m the genius philosopher who figured out new and correct observations about the nature of the second coming.”
“that’s okay! because i’ve cornered humanity into 2 tribes: i’m the second coming of jesus, or i’m the genius philosopher who figured out new and correct observations about the nature of the second coming.”
pamela, who the fuck do you think you are?
you’re just a—
you’re just a—
you’re just a woman.
pamela smiles.
“guess who.”
you’re just a—
you’re just a—
you’re just a woman.
pamela smiles.
“guess who.”
pamela has now gone off the deep end. we can make her out to be a crazy person, that’s totally fine.
but fucking a
she gave us:
- 10 twitter accounts, ok—they read like books backwards
- astickofdynamite.com
- here’s another book
- wait here’s a novel and it’s actually good
but fucking a
she gave us:
- 10 twitter accounts, ok—they read like books backwards
- astickofdynamite.com
- here’s another book
- wait here’s a novel and it’s actually good
oh wait it continues?
- here’s a new kind of youtube video, it’s a book you can read or vibe to by just focusing on the big letters and listening to the music
- wait there are riddles?
- 42 riddles
- she builds a symbology out of numbers like 137/666 and letters of the alphabet?
- here’s a new kind of youtube video, it’s a book you can read or vibe to by just focusing on the big letters and listening to the music
- wait there are riddles?
- 42 riddles
- she builds a symbology out of numbers like 137/666 and letters of the alphabet?
- wait here’s a straightforward description of reason and wisdom as transcendental higher powers taller than humanity and taller than our unwise perceptions that have social power in america in 2023 ad, which she argues won’t be time-stable
- “hoarded power” is universally bad?
- “hoarded power” is universally bad?
- HOLY SHIT SHE GOT YALE LAW SCHOOL TO ABANDON RANKINGS? SHE SENT AN EMAIL TO ALL OF YLS’S FACULTY BACK IN AUGUST AND THEY ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING WITH IT AND IT MADE NATIONAL NEWS THREE MONTHS LATER
- wait, she reveals other scandals too? amy, meghan, say it ain’t so! deny this!
- wait, she reveals other scandals too? amy, meghan, say it ain’t so! deny this!
Pamela, how deep do these rabbit holes go?
“Birth was a lottery, bitch.”
ok, i’m with you so far.
“Luck frames us.”
wtf?
“Existentially.”
pamela, what do you want us to do with these observations? go all wacko socialist?
“Just try to destroy them, motherfuckers.”
“Birth was a lottery, bitch.”
ok, i’m with you so far.
“Luck frames us.”
wtf?
“Existentially.”
pamela, what do you want us to do with these observations? go all wacko socialist?
“Just try to destroy them, motherfuckers.”
pamela, this is all nice and fun but let the big boys and girls work out the world’s problems.
your input is not necessary.
you don’t even have a yale law degree or a perfect SAT score.
your input is not necessary.
you don’t even have a yale law degree or a perfect SAT score.
“I do, here’s proof.”
oh yeah?
well have you ever climbed out of immigrant poverty and known what it’s like to be so outcasted in school you weren’t sure which was more suicide-inducing, your dysfunctional abuse at home or your friendless condition at school?
“Here’s proof.”
oh yeah?
well have you ever climbed out of immigrant poverty and known what it’s like to be so outcasted in school you weren’t sure which was more suicide-inducing, your dysfunctional abuse at home or your friendless condition at school?
“Here’s proof.”
this isn’t even relevant!
america’s on the decline!
it’s the chinese century, haven’t you heard?
bye pamela!
nobody on the other side of the world cares!
america’s on the decline!
it’s the chinese century, haven’t you heard?
bye pamela!
nobody on the other side of the world cares!
“I don’t identify as any culture I’m not, that’d be cultural appropriation. But I’ve already given you enough evidence that the level of attention I have right now for my work—which is ‘The View’ thinks I’m crazy—is enough to set into momentum my being remembered as the Second—”
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP PAMELA, THIS ISN’T HOW REALITY WORKS.
I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT REALITY AND YOU, MISS, NEED TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.
“—Coming of a Historic Philosopher.”
I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT REALITY AND YOU, MISS, NEED TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.
“—Coming of a Historic Philosopher.”
Well, yeah, maybe.
I mean, Pamela.
Is anyone checking your work here?
“millions, on their own, in their spare time. they were able to see through the media’s mockery of me and cut to the heart of my self-awareness.”
Self-aware—pshhh.
Everyone I know in Amerca is self-aware.
I mean, Pamela.
Is anyone checking your work here?
“millions, on their own, in their spare time. they were able to see through the media’s mockery of me and cut to the heart of my self-awareness.”
Self-aware—pshhh.
Everyone I know in Amerca is self-aware.
“What’s your name sweetheart?”
me?
i’m colson lin.
“Colson Lin, I think I’m going to write about you in my next book.”
psh, do it. i don’t care. your books aren’t going anywhere.
what.
you gonna turn me into judas now bitch.
what.
i’m a better person than you pam.
bitch.
me?
i’m colson lin.
“Colson Lin, I think I’m going to write about you in my next book.”
psh, do it. i don’t care. your books aren’t going anywhere.
what.
you gonna turn me into judas now bitch.
what.
i’m a better person than you pam.
bitch.
satan is hoarded power?
sounds like you’re trying to hoard all the power, pamela anderson.
me saying that somehow makes it all make sense.
satan doesn’t exist.
hoarded power isn’t always bad.
but when pamela anderson does it, it’s evil, and i can prove it. i’m going to—
sounds like you’re trying to hoard all the power, pamela anderson.
me saying that somehow makes it all make sense.
satan doesn’t exist.
hoarded power isn’t always bad.
but when pamela anderson does it, it’s evil, and i can prove it. i’m going to—
start my own religion!
based on this very logical observation: pamela anderson is the antichrist, actually.
based on this very logical observation: pamela anderson is the antichrist, actually.
Ha, Pamela.
You see what I just did?
I win.
Checkmate!
You see what I just did?
I win.
Checkmate!
i don’t care if millions of people are talking about you being a black swan event.
i can single-handedly destroy you because i just don’t like your face or the fact you wear so little clothes.
log onto 4chan
“you guys.
pamela anderson is the antichrist. we need a movement.”
i can single-handedly destroy you because i just don’t like your face or the fact you wear so little clothes.
log onto 4chan
“you guys.
pamela anderson is the antichrist. we need a movement.”
oh shit.
people on the internet are too rational and reasonable for my messiness to command any—
hahahaha
JUST KIDDING BITCH.
PAM:
“BYE!”
people on the internet are too rational and reasonable for my messiness to command any—
hahahaha
JUST KIDDING BITCH.
PAM:
“BYE!”
“This is breaking news. We’ve learned moments ago actress turned amateur philosopher Pamela Anderson was—”
“—leaving behind a body of work that continues to raise more questions than it answers. We’re joined tonight by—”
“Several of her books are now gaining attention, since they all seem to offer new clues about—”
“She completed _ books before her death (what you think i’m gonna jinx this? fuck you), and the layers of meaning that’s being discovered, man, I have to hand it to her—it’s unusual.”
“She completed _ books before her death (what you think i’m gonna jinx this? fuck you), and the layers of meaning that’s being discovered, man, I have to hand it to her—it’s unusual.”
In the timeline that survives the longest:
“When did we rename the years after Pamela Anderson?”
KIDDING
DON’T EVER DO THIS
IDOLS ARE SATANIC
REASON AND WISDOM IS YOUR ONLY GOD
BOW.
“When did we rename the years after Pamela Anderson?”
KIDDING
DON’T EVER DO THIS
IDOLS ARE SATANIC
REASON AND WISDOM IS YOUR ONLY GOD
BOW.
uhh yeah so that came from nowhere.
anyway.
how’s y’all’s nights going.
anyone upset about the state of the world?
brb.
lemme check twitter.
anyway.
how’s y’all’s nights going.
anyone upset about the state of the world?
brb.
lemme check twitter.
y’all seem so happy and at peace with things.
how awkward of me.
i had the bad luck to show up inside an obvious utopia.
fuck off, all of you, seriously.
how awkward of me.
i had the bad luck to show up inside an obvious utopia.
fuck off, all of you, seriously.
yeah if you’re a reasonable person you have the mental capacity to see inside of what i’m saying:
leave me alone.
i don’t want power from you.
i want to change your fucking world in the exact way you’ve been asking and secretly praying for.
if you’re not, the fuck off stands.
leave me alone.
i don’t want power from you.
i want to change your fucking world in the exact way you’ve been asking and secretly praying for.
if you’re not, the fuck off stands.
just don’t arrest or kill me.
i’m fine being “a postmodern artist.”
i’m fine being “a postmodern artist.”
i will say:
a very strange bundle of people have shown up routinely in “who to follow.”
i won’t out any of y’all.
i’m not here to actually tell you to go away, but if you think i’m not scared of you, you have 0 human empathy.
me not being famous means freedom.
fame is pain.
a very strange bundle of people have shown up routinely in “who to follow.”
i won’t out any of y’all.
i’m not here to actually tell you to go away, but if you think i’m not scared of you, you have 0 human empathy.
me not being famous means freedom.
fame is pain.
i will never be your friend on a personal level.
i will never talk to you.
i have a life i love and too many people i’m literally in platonic love with.
i’m at a breaking point: i know too many interesting people.
go watch a ted talk if you want inspiration.
my goals bigger.
i will never talk to you.
i have a life i love and too many people i’m literally in platonic love with.
i’m at a breaking point: i know too many interesting people.
go watch a ted talk if you want inspiration.
my goals bigger.
but yeah. a transcendental higher power does exist, and its existence might have eluded us for centuries until we kill ourselves.
i’m gonna change that using free speech and creativity.
go do something about slavery if you wanna feel like a better person than me, bye.
i’m gonna change that using free speech and creativity.
go do something about slavery if you wanna feel like a better person than me, bye.
but to be perfectly honest sometimes im lonely as fuck because i wanna talk in a super free and open way so hi again
whenever that happens
hi again
except if i go viral i will never do this shit again bc:
1. im now a cult leader, at least at the level of charismatic leader.
whenever that happens
hi again
except if i go viral i will never do this shit again bc:
1. im now a cult leader, at least at the level of charismatic leader.
2. y’all scare me collectively.
so i can do this comfortably now bc literally i have no followers and you, reading me, are a bored know-it-all nihilist who has probably felt intelligent all your fucking life, congratu-fucking-lations.
#metoo
you can hide your insides from me.
so i can do this comfortably now bc literally i have no followers and you, reading me, are a bored know-it-all nihilist who has probably felt intelligent all your fucking life, congratu-fucking-lations.
#metoo
you can hide your insides from me.
let me just insult you some more.
you’re a fucking nihilist.
your existence contributes an ordinary human-sized amount of greenhouse gas to the ongoing satanic possession, so fuck you.
no fucking offense.
you’re a fucking nihilist.
your existence contributes an ordinary human-sized amount of greenhouse gas to the ongoing satanic possession, so fuck you.
no fucking offense.
i’m being satanic right now but it feels so good because i am not a righteous clown.
i’m a human who likes telling you to fuck off.
i’m a human who likes telling you to fuck off.
make of that irony what you will.
my one question to you
which is so simple
why didn’t you live your life with more courage?
again:
fuck.
you.
which is so simple
why didn’t you live your life with more courage?
again:
fuck.
you.
and if i do end up being killed for this?
my fuck you stands.
you should’ve done this, not me.
fuck.
you.
if i die naturally i’m all good. i hope i didn’t screw up is my only thought on that front.
my fuck you stands.
you should’ve done this, not me.
fuck.
you.
if i die naturally i’m all good. i hope i didn’t screw up is my only thought on that front.
“Oh, but you did, and here’s how, because I’m God.”
fuck.
right.
off.
dumb meritocrat / 4chan lowlife.
fuck.
right.
off.
dumb meritocrat / 4chan lowlife.
if i were born you, i’d be you.
it’s a privilege to have my intelligence.
i’m sorry for getting mad at you.
sincerely.
i’m satanic too!
it’s a privilege to have my intelligence.
i’m sorry for getting mad at you.
sincerely.
i’m satanic too!
on a lighter note: 
“Beach Day” is not a good flavor.
(That’s called an aesthetic preference, by the way. It’s not moral.)
(That’s called an aesthetic preference, by the way. It’s not moral.)
i’m like so mad about the flavor of this vape it’s not even funny.
like i thought about if for a while and it literally tastes like the mildew inside of a locker room.
so were they like
stale water
that’s the beach!
“beach day”!
like you know what i mean???
so were they like
stale water
that’s the beach!
“beach day”!
like you know what i mean???
anyway, keeping things light
i love nina simone
and when i need a pick me up i play wild is the wind, live, 1971 i think.
and i literally vape and close my eyes and fucking a, don’t tell me god doesn’t exist.
i love nina simone
and when i need a pick me up i play wild is the wind, live, 1971 i think.
and i literally vape and close my eyes and fucking a, don’t tell me god doesn’t exist.
am i pretty wild?
america made me that way.
can you imagine if i had never left china?
america made me that way.
can you imagine if i had never left china?
ironically you would probably like me so much more.
“he’s so nice and polite! very soft-spoken! doesn’t make any waves!”
“he’s so nice and polite! very soft-spoken! doesn’t make any waves!”
NOW I’M YOUR WIND AND YOUR OCEAN, BITCH.
How American am I?
god damn, have you seen anyone more american?
be honest.
god damn, have you seen anyone more american?
be honest.
yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu touch me
i hear the sound of mandolins…..
i hear the sound of mandolins…..
i love you guys.
america?
thank god for your existence.
you enabled me to exist.
america?
thank god for your existence.
you enabled me to exist.
“That guy is addicted to Elf Bars.”
listen that is $22 i will never get back
i love the beach.
i hate beach day.
listen that is $22 i will never get back
i love the beach.
i hate beach day.
can i just tell you the most random thing
if i close my eyes and try to imagine someone who loves the beach day flavor
i can kind of dig and get into beach day
i’m very empathetic, i think.
if i close my eyes and try to imagine someone who loves the beach day flavor
i can kind of dig and get into beach day
i’m very empathetic, i think.
if you’ve met me in real life
can we just laugh about something
HOW THE FUCK AM I INCORPORATING EVERY SINGLE LANA DEL REY SONG EVER INTO THIS LIKE A FUCKING DJ.
can we just laugh about something
HOW THE FUCK AM I INCORPORATING EVERY SINGLE LANA DEL REY SONG EVER INTO THIS LIKE A FUCKING DJ.
I made the decision to become someone
“The Second Coming of Jesus Christ!”
y’all don’t think i don’t find this every bit as awkward as you do
please pretend you have never read any of this the next time we ever see each other unless the real world has made that impossible.
“The Second Coming of Jesus Christ!”
y’all don’t think i don’t find this every bit as awkward as you do
please pretend you have never read any of this the next time we ever see each other unless the real world has made that impossible.
this is really awkward and i am happy to sit down and tell you the entire story someday, from beginning to end, because it’s crazier than anything i’ve shared on twitter.
if you and i know each other and you are reading my twitter
statistically speaking:
we are both ridiculously privileged.
i want to honor its moral implications seriously.
statistically speaking:
we are both ridiculously privileged.
i want to honor its moral implications seriously.
also you know i’ve always been kind of… a free spirit lol
in all honesty:
i just didn’t realize something like coincidences inside reality exist.
now i do.
i just didn’t realize something like coincidences inside reality exist.
now i do.
i’m not sure if this thread is worth saving
it makes a point about this project
but i dunno
it makes a point about this project
but i dunno
humanity’s not worth saving.
#KIDDING
but i know you think so
which is why your judgmentalness of me annoys the shit out of the side of me that’s not a saint.
#KIDDING
but i know you think so
which is why your judgmentalness of me annoys the shit out of the side of me that’s not a saint.
it’s literally like billions of people created a massive word document that’s too big to comprehend and you’re like
file
don’t save
quit.
like fuck right off please.
file
don’t save
quit.
like fuck right off please.
like i wouldn’t do that to one of my own books, and i’m just one author.
@threadreaderapp unroll
you’re irreplaceable.
@threadreaderapp unroll
you’re irreplaceable.
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