I really thought that with all the positive attention and accolades for #EverythingEverywhereAllAtOnce, that an essay written by a chinese-american on some very chinese parts of the movie might get some award recognition, but I guess it’s just not going to happen
awards are ultimately out of my control and it’s already an honor that my essay was a fund drive feature for STRANGE HORIZONS, and I appreciate that many people have told me it deepened their experience of the movie
I just wish it didn’t feel like another iteration of consuming the cultural output but not bothering to understand the people
the worst part is there is no way to know why, out of many, many factors, something may not have shown up on a list
it just… would have been really nice in a climate of escalating anti-chinese & christofascist sentiment to like… feel like people care about taoism
oh well
for more on taoism, ken liu has a new translation of the 《道德經》 DAO DE JING narrated by BD Wong: audible.com/pd/B0BZJNP239
the usual convo I have about the 《道德經》 in genre spaces is ppl mentioning ursula k. le guin’s rendition, so it’s nice to have a translation by a chinese-american genre author with lived context
I can’t believe pandas all still have carnivore digestive tracts and *can* eat meat but they are like “nah I’m vegetarian and I choose this one plant that my body can’t actually digest. but nomnomnom”
if pandas were human they’d be lactose intolerant and drink milk daily
“dude, you sure you don’t want like… anything else”
“*maintains eye contact, chugs more milk*”
please no more tragic sad starving panda representation. please more stories about how fast bamboo grows and about how pandas’ special bamboo interest makes them nature’s lawnmowers. please give these chompers more room to chomp!!!
so… turns out that after a car crash… people usually see a doctor? and have physical therapy? after both my car crashes I was just sent to a mental hospital (where I paced for days) and never got assessed for injuries… hmm
I am trying to somehow find time and energy to *sigh* have to navigate all of this but at least my bf has done a lot of physical therapy post-car crashes so I, you know, now know that it’s not normal to just let someone run around for days after a crash as if they’re uninjured
it’s wild how much stuff I simply accept because “well I guess it’s time to care and advocate for myself again, this is how it goes right?”
and then people around me make these horrified “wtf??” faces when I tell them and I’m like… ah… so neglect is NOT normal?
I don’t know where my ADHD meds went and my room is a mess and my shoulder hurts and I really hope I’m not going to get sick and I think I’m just going to lie down and cry and think about dying for a second before I get up and maybe try to clean something
ok my meds were on the ground and I found some of my very smelly herbal chinese pain patches that work but that I can’t wear when I don’t have several days off work (like I do now) because I am scared of Smelling Chinese In Public
I am medicated and making myself order food before lying back down and crying. good job self
I always find it absolutely nuts that some people with sleep paralysis actually see things, but then again, maybe they would be horrified that my sleep paralysis never had visuals, but had auditory hallucinations of S C R E A M I N G
just fucking nonstop howling screams while feeling like my body is electrocuted
I wouldn’t even be able to open my eyes! just electric darkness with HELL SCREAMS
my aunt paid me as much as I make in a week at my dayjob for driving 200 miles today so I am promptly going to blow a good amount of it on MUSIC TO WATCH!!!!!!
it’s absolutely nuts that I can look at the waveform and see the waveforms that are compositing into it
the more I watch the waveforms the more I understand what I’m seeing