Thread by @bingjiuwus

#liujiu, Bai Zhan SJ AU EXTRA 1 Part II (nsfw):

"Do you... do you want to try something?"

They'd long since gotten into bed and lain next to each other, remaining fully wide awake in the dark, when Shen Jiu finally broke the silence and regretted speaking aloud immediately.

https://twitter.com/bingjiuwus/status/1655831349880848384

He flushed with embarrassment, red from head to toe; just what was he thinking, saying something like that out of nowhere!!

_Not nowhere_, a tiny part of him protested. Qingge had been looking at him! They were married now, they were never going to just hold hands in bed forever, were they?!

Were they...

"Um." Liu Qingge swallowed audibly, his hand sticky and warm in SJ's own. He knew what SJ meant without having to elaborate. "A'Jiu, I..."

"Sorry!" SJ ripped his hand out and rolled over to his side away from LQG. "We don't have to. We don't have to do anything." He didn't even know where his _own_ desire was coming from, nor what suddenly gave him the gumption _now_ to try something like this...

"No! No, I want to," LQG cried out in alarm. SJ froze, then buried his face into his pillow, unable to respond, until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and his husband saying, almost timidly:

"A'Jiu, look at me?"

SJ wanted to die. Instead, he slowly turned to face LQG again, wrapping arms tight around his pillow as a crutch.

"I. Um." LQG was bright red too, even in the darkness of their suite. "Don't mind if you want to do something more. All we've ever done is kiss, but, uh..."

The apple in his throat bobbed up and down when he spoke, when he licked his lips nervously and added, "It's not like I've never thought about it before... I've wanted to... with you..." His voice so thin it became a whisper.

"... really?"

SJ had never thought LQG even knew about sexual desire, much less felt it himself; he just seemed so _aloof_ to that whole aspect of human nature, and for the better.

And towards _him_ too...

Unable to help his curiosity, SJ lowered the pillow a shade and said, "What did you want to do with me?"

"You know." LQG couldn't even look him in the eye. "What married couples do. I've wanted to be like that with you for a long time. I just... knew we had to wait until we got married. Didn't want to dishonour you. But now..."

"You wouldn't have dishonoured me." SJ sat up in bed, put the pillow aside. He hadn't had anything like virtue in a long time now, but to think LQG had wanted to protect his, even then... "If you'd asked... I don't know if I would have been ready, but I would have let you."

Once again, he couldn't believe he was even saying any of this aloud. But he knew this now; LQG was the one, the _only_ one SJ would ever give his heart and body and soul over to.

And in that case, SJ would give over _everything_.

Even the parts of him that had never seen daylight, even the parts of him that were still shy.

"Wouldn't have wanted it then," LQG said instantly. "Not like that, I mean. Our relationship has never been about duty. Wouldn't want it to start then."

"Mm. Me either." SJ fiddled with his sleeves. "But I'm ready now. If you want..." His heart was beating so loudly he thought it might burst out of his ribcage any second now.

"I..." LQG didn't look like he was faring much better. "I - I do. But what about you? Do you..."

"Yeah," SJ whispered, looking down at his lap instead of his husband, the most perfect person alive. "I want to do what married couples do too."

"Oh - okay," LQG said, jittery relief in his voice, his trembling hands. "Me too.

"Then," he added. "Let's get started...?"

*

They'd never gotten beyond kissing before.

Sometimes even SJ wondered why; they'd had plenty of opportunities to do so between the time they'd gotten together and when they finally got married. He hadn't been away from the sect in _all_ that time either.

And they'd certainly gotten _very_ good at kissing and curling up against each other over the years...

It was just...

Was it that LQG was simply _that_ much of a gentleman that he would never try anything without SJ's explicit and upfront permission?

(Yeah. Yeah, definitely.)

And as for SJ...

It was true; he _hadn't_ been ready. Wasn't ready to think about himself below the waist, even with the man he knew he loved since he was eighteen.

Wasn't ready to think of himself who _had_ sex instead of it being forced upon him, just one more degrading form of torture...

Wasn't ready to ever think about vulnerable like that ever again.

But now... but now he was.

He wasn't the traumatised child who had burned down the Qiu Manor anymore. He was a cultivator of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, respected and admired by many, and adored by his husband.

He had allies and friends, people who would defend him if he was slighted, people who would pick him up if he fell.

He had a husband who worshipped him and would kiss his very feet if he demanded it, who had never judged SJ for what he had done to survive, who had only ever cared for and trusted him and _loved_ him no matter what...

And in the face of such overwhelming love like that, SJ knew he no longer had to be afraid of _any_ part of his past.

Truly. He could move on now.

*

"I want to kiss you, then," SJ said huskily, then crawled forward on his hands and knees towards his husband.

LQG stared at him with his eyes blown out as SJ straddled his lap, legs wrapped loosely around his waist. LQG's hands settled awkwardly at his back, his husband swallowing when SJ gazed down at him and thought:

_Well, it's now or never._

Neither of them had brushed their teeth after dinner, so they both tasted a little more like the honey glaze on the roasted duck they'd eaten more than they anticipated - but somehow, the reminder eased SJ's nerves more than it made him want to run off and chew some mint leaves.

When LQG licked the corner of his mouth and mumbled, "Sweet," unable to help himself, SJ giggled, and the two of them just stared at each other and laughed.

"Qingge," SJ gasped into his husband's hair. "Qingge, I _like you so much_. I don't know how I ever got so lucky to have found you..."

"'m the lucky one." LQG squeezed him tight in an embrace. "A'Jiu, my soulmate, my Zhinu. There's no one else for me."

"Me too," SJ whispered, cupping his face in his hands. "Liu Mingjin, I love you so much. And to think you're _mine_..."

"Always," LQG said hoarsely, staring up at him with wide grey eyes. "Always yours, A'Jiu."

"Yeah," SJ said fondly. "Always."

*

It became easier after that, to untie each other's robes and be bare again, with only their trousers on and nothing else.

SJ leapt when LQG touched his back again, only his time the solid warm palm of his husband's hand could trace the old scars there on his skin.

"Hm?" LQG kissed him on the collarbone, curious but patient.

"Oh." SJ shook his head. "Just some bad memories. Don't think about them too much."

"I won't," LQG said seriously. "Do you not want me to touch them?"

SJ shivered. "It's okay if it's you," he mumbled. "They're just a little ugly, that's all. Not my favourite part of myself."

"Every part of A'Jiu is gorgeous," LQG said, as gravely as he if was invoking an incantation. "You know that, don't you?"

"I _know_." SJ squirmed. "Don't be embarrassing..."

His breath hitched when he could feel something firm and rigid below his bottom - his husband's pillar, aroused and at attention.

His own was - ah, yeah. There it was, pressed uncomfortably against LQG's stomach and no doubt making its presence known. Huh!

"I hate how much bigger you are than me already," SJ said before he could stop himself. LQG choked on his breath. "Born perfect in every way, hm?"

"What! Why does that matter," LQG spluttered, though he hadn't been born yesterday and should know exactly what SJ meant by that. "We're not doing that tonight! ... are we?" he asked, a sudden twinge of hope in his voice.

SJ glared at him, aghast. "No. We're not ready for that by a long shot," he snapped. "That's not the only way to get off either, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, my bad." LQG was still red as tomatoes. "A'Jiu, give your idiot husband a break, you know I don't know anything."

SJ softened up. "You're not an idiot, dummy." He pecked LQG on the mouth. "We can use our hands on each other. Or." He blushed. "If you want, I could..."

"What?" LQG looked lost. "What else is there?"

Oh heavens, did he really not know?

"I could use my mouth on you," SJ said. "Would you like that, Qingge?"

It took LQG far too long to understand what SJ was referring to. "You can _do_ that - it's not dirty?" he all but stammered. "A'Jiu, that's..."

"You tell me if it's dirty; you're the one who cleaned yourself, after all," SJ said primly. "But if you don't want to..." He added sadly.

"I - I do!" LQG said desperately. "I mean, I don't know what it'll look like, but I'll do _anything_ if it's with you. You know that."

"Yeah?" SJ grinned, feeling brave despite himself. "You want me to do something that'll make you feel good, Qingge? Is that it?"

"Ye - yeah," his husband said breathlessly. "When it's you, always."

"Okay." SJ kissed him on the corner of his mouth, climbed out of his lap after. "Then I'm going to do something that'll make you feel _really_ good, I promise. You just have to tell me if it's too much and I'll stop."

"O - okay," LQG said, sounding ragged already. The likelihood of him actually doing so was nil, SJ knew, but it was better he at least _know_ that backing out was a possibility.

(For both of them.)

Then it was time.

*

It was good, SJ reflected, that they were technically doing this in the dark, cultivator's vision be damned.

It meant that, even as he reached for the drawstring of his husband's pants and touched his pillar for the first time, LQG holding his breath the whole time, that SJ could just... stare,

and marvel in silence at the behemoth attached to LQG knowing that the darkness would cover up most of his incredulity.

Just... how? His husband was an otherwise lean and slender man, just where had this monstrosity come from?

And the worst thing was, it was _pretty_ too. Not bulbous and veiny and horrible-looking like most pillars, but smooth and pale with a hint of blushing pink at the head, as if it was a pillar carved from mutton fat jade instead -

"Do you really have to _stare_," LQG squawked.

"I'm not staring!" SJ hissed, mortified by being called out. His own small erection was painfully tight between his legs.

"Well, then, do something! Or - or not. Just don't sit there and _stare_ at my dick like that..."

On second thought, maybe LQG could stay a virgin forever.

SJ ignored him after that, swallowing the last of his nerves down before he settled stomach-down on the bed with his head just above his husband's lap with his enormous pillar in his hand... and gave it a little lick.

"Oh!" LQG flared out his nostrils in shock. "A'Jiu, I..."

SJ opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around the head of his husband's cock, and sucked.

LQG buckled his hips upward instinctively, the man gasping above SJ. He'd probably had no clue this kind of act even existed until half a shichen ago, and now...

He tasted good. Clean, with just a hint of musk and nothing more. SJ ran his tongue across the light pink skin of the head and swallowed his saliva alongside the first drip of precome, stroking the side of the pillar with his hand.

"Oh..." LQG shuddered. "A'Jiu..."

SJ sucked more, swallowing the cock deeper into his mouth until he could feel it press against the back of his throat. His own pillar was leaking shamelessly with want, and he jammed his free hand down his pants and touched himself, all while sucking his husband off.

"Fuck!" LQG gasped, thrusting into SJ's mouth reflexively and making him splutter. "Shit, sorry - did I hurt you - "

SJ struggled not to roll his eyes. Now was not the time to be a gentleman, Qingge! He refused to stop what he was doing to yell at him for a bit, instead grabbed one of his husband's flailing hands and placed it firmly on his own head.

_Now keep it there_, SJ huffed, and went back to work.

LQG got the point eventually and kept a decent hold on SJ's hair, even thrusting shallowly into his mouth even SJ made groaning sounds of approval in his direction.

He was still too gentle and timid by half, but considering it was his first time - and what most other men were like in general - it was better that than anything else. SJ could tell him after how to improve and do better next time.

And besides. The small helpless, incredulous noises LQG kept making were good enough already. SJ licked up and down his husband's magnificent pillar with both effort and joy, enjoying the mild salty taste of LQG on his tongue,

and caressed it with both hands, preferring to rut into the sheets instead for his own stimulation.

It didn't take too long to make LQG come, and when SJ knew the man was close to climax he swallowed the pillar in far as it would go and sunk nails into LQG's thighs so the man couldn't pull out as he came and spilled seed all over his face

His husband came with gasping, wrenching heaves and hands tight in his hair. SJ swallowed every drop of come and held LQG's pillar in his mouth even as it began to soften, even as LQG sagged over him with shuddering breaths.

He refused to let him go, and didn't do so until he came to himself, jerking himself off roughly until his cock came in splurts and soaked his hand white.

Then he finally opened his mouth and out came LQG's pillar with a _pop_... flushed pink now, but immaculate still otherwise, with not a drop of seed left on it.

_Shameless_, SJ thought idly of himself; he'd swallowed it clean.

Really; he didn't know he had it in him.

*

(tbc)

*

(Ok Part II is finally here, and excluding a small bit in one of the Intimacy extras, this is definitely the most actual nsfw thing I've written for public consumption haha. This story has been PG-13 until now, but surprise!! This extra is for adults only!!

Anyway, liujiu's sexual awakening will continue for later haha... hope you enjoyed this late night read!)

*

LQG couldn't focus at all on the way back to Cang Qiong the day after.

SJ... his husband had really gotten on his knees and put LQG's pillar in his mouth... and serviced him. Done things with his tongue LQG had never even known were possible.

And it had been _amazing._

Just like one of Gugu's springtime books, LQG thought in a daze as he flew, then pinched himself. It had been _much_ better than in any of those filthy stories she liked to read in her spare time!

It had been real, for one.

Now, while LQG got the impression his husband thought of him as a martial-god-in-training aloof to want and physical desire, it just wasn't true. _How could it be_.

Just because LQG wasn't the type to talk about it didn't mean he hadn't thought long and hard about how beautiful SJ became as he grew from boy to man, from the mischievous gleam in his eyes to his long, slender limbs that always cast such a riveting silhouette when he trained.

(In another life, he would have been a spectacular dancer. Wearing strips of gossamer red silk and nothing else, hm...)

LQG had. Wanted. To kiss and hold SJ for a long time. Wondered, _especially_ in those long years when his beloved was travelling away from the sect and LQG only had the memory of his scent to tide him by, what it would feel like to lick the sweat off his graceful neck.

If, after one of their many tussles, he didn't climb off the other man but stayed on top of him... what SJ would do if LQG kissed him.

Did more than kiss him. Rutted against his thigh, and brought his mouth low to his neck. Would SJ have liked that?

Stared up at LQG, breathless and with his pupils blown out? Undid the lapels of his robes to reveal an expanse of sweet blushing skin and asked - no, _told_ him to keep going?

He didn't know; he'd never dared. LQG had been taught since childhood there were some things better off left until marriage, and if anyone ever pressured him otherwise he need only dump the body somewhere and his parents would take care of the rest.

His mother, well aware of the pitfalls he could fall into, had taught him to source and brew a dozen anti-aphrodisiac remedies by the time he left for Cang Qiong, though LQG had been privately grateful he had never had cause to use that part of his training.

He didn't think anyone in SJ's life had done him the same favour before he came to Bai Zhan. Yue-shixiong might have tried, but he wouldn't have known much either before he left for the sect, and as for the bastard who owned SJ and abused him for _years_...

His husband had always been intense about preserving his modesty, about being physically close to other people. The scars were one thing, yes. If LQG had had them he didn't know if he'd want people gawking at them either.

But apart from him and Yue-shixiong, he couldn't remember SJ ever touching someone (and no, fights didn't count). Even with Shizun he was zealous about his personal space.

And to be sure, some people were just born naturally reserved, but the way SJ had chosen to sleep in a damp cave alone for _years_ than share a room at the dorms where at least he'd be warm and dry, even when he was injured...

It didn't paint a pretty picture. And while SJ had told LQG and his parents essentially everything about his past as a slave in the Qiu Manor, perhaps he hadn't told them _everything_.

LQG wouldn't make him. If there was something his husband was uncomfortable with, something he just didn't want to do, even when they were now ostensibly doing "married people things"...

It would be just fine with him. He was SJ's silly goose, not a pig. Not to mention...

His husband had always been good to him. It was only right LQG repay the favour. However that played, or didn't play out.

*

(really tiny update for now, sorry I can't write more 🥲 )

*

As soon as they arrived back at Bai Zhan they were jumped upon by hallmasters demanding new lesson plans, cultivators demanding harder and flashier missions, and disciples demanding private training sessions with Shizun and Shen-shishu,

so for a while they were so busy there was barely enough time in the day to scarf down a bite or two, much less get touchy-feely like they had that night at the inn, much to LQG's eternal chagrin.

This was all his A'Jiu's fault, he thought good-naturedly one afternoon when he finally managed to escape his flock of monsters and make a detour to Qian Cao.

Who was the one who told LQG to look out for the runts of the peak, hm? To be an _active_ and _involved_ teacher to all of Bai Zhan, and not just the kids who could make it to the finish line on their own?

LQG couldn't even walk on his own peak anymore without being swarmed by an army of brats pulling at his sleeves begging him to show them some cool technique or train with them or even just what he thought of Cao Yu's latest (verbal!) stunt against the Qing Jing devils.

Even if he just shook them off and told them to get moving they wouldn't relent, clustering around him like ducklings, and only scattering if the dining bell rung or if one of their _other_ teachers came to scold them for being late for lessons.

The worst part was none of those tiny monsters were even _afraid_ of him, though he was the second most terrifying person on Cang Qiong after Yue - sorry, Zhangmen-shixiong.

(He'd have to get used to calling him that!)

Even though LQG had slain the Two-Headed Taotie Tiger as a youth, even though he'd killed score after score of demons and beasts and even come in second place at the Immortal Alliance Conference (first place went to his beloved, of course),

in the eyes of his young disciples, LQG wasn't so much the fearsome Bai Zhan Peak Lord who made even ancient demon lords quake in their boots at the thought of facing him, but a grumpy and easily aggrieved older brother they could pester and annoy to their heart's leisure

without the slightest hint of fear or promise of punishment.

It had only been a month since LQG had formally become Peak Lord, but already Bai Zhan felt more like a school for wild children than the chaotic warriors' peak it had been before.

And yes, Bai Zhan had always had young disciples before (LQG had entered when he was ten!), but before they would stay quiet and follow a shixiong willing to teach them until they were strong enough to stand on their own.

They were certainly never _catered_ to, or made to feel like they were worth something before they could even throw a solid punch.

Maybe it was just coddling, what they were doing now. LQG had certainly thrived the old-fashioned way - climbing up the trial passage and making it through with broken nails and knees mottled with bruises, earning notoriety by fighting through his shixiongs at public matches,

earning Shizun's attention with his kills on missions, by becoming quite literally the strongest person on Bai Zhan Peak. The old system had worked for LQG _perfectly._

... but it hadn't for SJ, his beloved husband who had been thrown into the deep end and told to swim or sink that way, who would have languished with an unsuitable manual for years or even damaged his cultivation if LQG hadn't found him that fateful day in the forest.

And. His husband was the most brilliant person LQG knew, gifted and hard-working and dangerously clever, but even he had been left to flounder on his own.

And who knew. In a world where LQG decided not to walk in the forest one day and ran into the love of his life, maybe SJ would have come to the heartbreaking conclusion that he wasn't meant to be a cultivator on Bai Zhan, much less the rest of Cang Qiong.

Maybe he would have just _left_ suddenly one day, and LQG never knew, never realised he had just missed out on the most important person in his life.

SJ too, would have never earned Xin Yong nor become the champion of the Immortal Alliance Conference and won the jianghu's favour, nor reconciled with Yue-shixiong...

It was a reality LQG simply didn't want to think about for long. And thank gods it had never come to pass.

But it could have, and all for want of a good teacher. And LQG didn't want future windows of opportunity to slip by for other Bai Zhan disciples present and future.

So let the tiny tyrants swarm him and ask him every question under the sun, so they knew he was always available and willing to answer them provided he wasn't repeating himself;

let them think of him as their gruff, semi-permanently annoyed teacher _first_ and not some terrifying demigod they had to duck their gazes from whenever he was around.

Let them know that he would always be there for them.

Because, honestly? The fact that his disciples, his fellow cultivators and even the staff on Bai Zhan _liked_ LQG?

That when he and SJ had returned to the peak after their disaster of a wedding, spending the next week being bombarded with people desperate to know they were alright, their home being stacked ceiling-high with gifts of tea and medicine and charms as far as the eye could see -

It felt good. Real good.

LQG had had admirers before, people who fawned on him before he'd spoken one word to them in his life. As far as he'd always seen it, hero worship was cheap.

But care and genuine concern from one person to another? That was something else.

Once, LQG had only a single person he could consider a friend. He had never been good with people, so it was fine, if SJ was the only person who seemed to understand him outside of his parents and his teacher. He didn't _need_ anyone else.

Now he had a whole peak full of people he considered family. The hallmasters, some of whom had taught LQG himself, fellow cultivators of the same generation, the teen brats who liked to give him white hair daily.

The kitchen aunties, who had always been kind to him and SJ and fed them even outside of dining hours. And even outside of Bai Zhan - the other Peak Lords. Zhangmen-shixiong. His biaoge. People who cared about LQG, and whom he cared about in turn.

It was strange to think about. LQG had been on Cang Qiong since he was ten, and known he would become a Peak Lord when he was fourteen.

But it wasn't until now, more than a decade since a small and determined Liu Mingjin first showed up on Bai Zhan with dirty clothes and bloodier fingernails, did LQG realise that the sect had truly become his home.

_He_ had found his home, and his people too. And he couldn't imagine sharing them with anyone but his A'Jiu.

*

Of course, the epiphany was one thing. What LQG had come to Qian Cao for was another thing entirely.

As the medical peak, Qian Cao's library was the envy of other sects and the secular world alike. The vast building held thousands - even millions? - of books and scrolls about anything tangentially related to medicine and the human body.

Which was why LQG had come. Because you'd think, right? That Qian Cao would have information. On sex. Sex between men, and things of that nature.

And it did. He'd found plenty of books on the subject matter. But dear god, none of it was what he was actually _looking_ for.

Because! The authors of all these supposedly informative texts treated the topic like they were talking about ants!

LQG read through scores of bloodless, insipid and thoroughly un-enticing words about sex between men, and instead of becoming educated and inspired about his sex life with his husband,

he was left bitterly wanting to become a monk overnight so he never heard about refractory periods again.

Obviously medical texts weren't meant to be _titillating_, but what the hell, could they at least not take away his will to live? Please?

(Not to mention the illustrations, dear god. Was the man who was, uh, receiving, supposed to look constipated the whole time? _Who the hell had been commissioned to draw this crap?_)

_You cannot go back to A'Jiu with this bullshit_, LQG told himself. He still hadn't been able to repay his husband for that glorious night at the inn. He'd hoped to come to their next feeling-out session with a little more knowledge, a little more wisdom.

Unfortunately, LQG thought with a shudder as he pushed back yet another volume on the merits of below-the-waist grooming back on the shelf (why was this even a thing?! was this something you even needed to be told to do?!), as usual he'd have to figure it out on his own.

*

And then his cousin showed up, because fuck LQG, that's why.

"Qingge? Are you looking for something?"

LQG cursed very faintly under his breath as Mu Qingfang popped up suddenly between the aisles. "One of my disciples came running to tell me you'd been in the library for a shichen already, muttering and scaring people away."

He raised a brow. "Which sounds about right. What are you looking for?"

"... absolutely nothing," LQG said, face smooth as stone.

"Uh huh." MQF smiled as he came closer. "You _are_ aware I know this place like the back of my hand, right? Whatever you're looking for, I can source it in a heartbeat - "

He then turned his gaze towards the shelf where LQG's hand had just been hovering, the general theme of all the books on said shelf, then said, "Hm."

And because he was a doctor before he was a human being (and therefore incapable of feeling a sense of shame and restraint when other people's suffering was involved), all he said was,

"And you still need help figuring out _that_ part of your relationship? Haven't you and Shen-shixiong been together for years now?"

"I will kill you," LQG said, already red as a firecracker.

"Oh, grow up." MQF rolled his eyes. "If it's just knowledge you want, any of these books will do. You can borrow them if you want, actually. You're a Peak Lord, it's fine. I'll just have Shang-shixiong deduct the cost from Bai Zhan's budget if they get damaged."

LQG gaped at him, then said, "I am _not_ doing that."

"... no?"

"No!" he said, outraged. "I want to make my husband _feel_ good! To have fun when we're together! Reading _this_ shit just makes me want to like castrate myself so I never have to think about sex again!"

"... okay. Don't do that," MQF said after a stunned moment. "Also, keep your voice down. I'm trying to train sensible people here."

LQG glared at him. "Does your fancy library even have one book on sex between men that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out?"

"Probably not?" MQF said.

LQG groaned.

"Look." His cousin sighed. "Qingge, if it's not so much information as well, knowledge of _pleasure_ that you want, the books here won't be much help to you.

You'd honestly have better luck going to a random bookshop and buying out their springtime section."

"Or," he added when LQG grumbled again. "Have you considered just _talking_ to Shen-shixiong and figuring out what works for you together? Heavens forbid but I really don't think he'd turn his nose up at you not having intimate knowledge of sex beforehand."

"I know that," LQG muttered. "I just..." He bit his lip. "Want to make him comfortable, you know? Don't want to accidentally put my foot in it or hurt him or..." He swallowed. "He's been through enough already. And I just want to be good to him."

His husband had lived through a lifetime of tragedy already and he was only twenty-three. LQG had vowed on the night of the Qixi Festival that SJ would never have to hurt again, to go without again. Good things _would_ come to him from then on, and in bounty.

After all, didn't he deserve that?

"Qingge..." MQF's expression softened. "You've always been very good to Shen-shixiong. Surely you realise that."

"I could be better," LQG said. Not like he hadn't failed before.

"Yes? Either way, I think Shen-shixiong would gladly accept one of your failures in lieu of anyone else's 'success', " MQF said dryly. "It's the same the other way around too, no?"

LQG's heart thumped. "Always," he said hoarsely.

"So there you go." MQF shrugged. "What you're looking for can't be found in a book, really - at least, not the ones in my library. Again, you could go to a bookseller in the city too, if you want.

But my best bet is still just communicating with Shen-shixiong and being sincere about where you are right now. Even if it means losing a bit of your mystique, I think he'd favour the honesty a little more."

"I..." LQG gaped, at a loss.

"You really are good at this," he muttered with grudging respect a moment later. "I guess it's better just to talk instead of trying to go through a bunch of old books that have nothing to do with me."

"I am, thank you." MQF preened. "Also, now that you're done, get the hell out of my library. You're scaring everyone else."

LQG didn't need to be told twice. Though he did give his cousin the finger, just to keep him on his toes.

*

(one last half-update since it's late, but I promise I'll finish this silly part in the morning haha! Just one more segment or two or go, maybe...)

*

"... so the poetry contest is finally happening next week, and Cao Yu realised he might have finally stepped into a bear trap. He keeps asking me for pointers, as if _that'll_ magically make him a better poet than one of Qing Jing's brats.

Honestly, he deserves some egg on his face when he keeps pulling that Chu kid's ponytail after all this time. And Song-shijie even said she would attend, which means - Qingge. Qingge, are you even listening to me right now."

LQG didn't know for how long his husband had stopped talking and just _stared_ at him when he finally jolted and came to again. "Uh yeah, definitely," he croaked. "Keep going, A'Jiu."

"... I don't think I will." SJ studied him with a cool gaze. "You've been zoning out the whole evening. What is it?"

Well, it had nothing to do with poetry for one thing. "Nothing," LQG said reflexively, then remembered MQF's words of wisdom right after. Communicate, moron!

"You..."

SJ narrowed his eyes and grabbed LQG's face to pull at his cheeks. "What is _wrong_ with you," he said in frustration. "You _know_ you can't even keep a secret from me if you tried, so just tell me and let me help you figure it out - "

"It's the inn," LQG blurted out, unable to handle his husband being disappointed in him for a heartbeat. "Ever since that night, I, uh..." He stopped, flushing deep to the root.

"Oh." SJ's expression smoothed over, and he retreated, putting his hands in his lap. "You didn't like it?"

"No, I did," LQG said immediately. "I just... you were really good and I don't... I never even thought that kind of act was possible in real life... "

"Well, of course not." SJ was red too, though from embarrassment or a deeper emotion LQG couldn't quite spot. His husband swallowed, not quite looking at him. "It's not like I know that much about sex either. I..." He hesitated.

"Does it matter to you whether I'm a virgin or not? I can't give birth to an heir either way - "

"It doesn't." LQG heard the note of distress in his voice, grabbed his hands and kissed his fingers before things devolved. "A'Jiu, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Well, you did, jackass." SJ sniffled a little, blinking away small tears at the corner of his eyes.

Unable to think of anything else, LQG leaned forward and kissed the tip of his pretty pink nose.

"You...!" SJ jerked back, crunching up said nose in outrage. "Liu Mingjin, you bastard - "

He tried to pull his hands away too, but LQG held onto him, undeterred. SJ glared at him, looking so very teary-eyed and bullied, even.

(What a surreal thought.)

"I just want to make you feel good, A'Jiu," LQG mumbled, continuing to hold SJ's hands up to his own face. SJ froze, and LQG continued:

"I know I keep saying the wrong thing. I just don't know anything, and that's not the same thing as assuming _you_ know everything. It's just - " He pursed his lips.

"I feel like a dumb clod next to you sometimes. I might be the Peak Lord but I _know_ I'd be nowhere without you."

"Not true," SJ whispered.

"It is," LQG said. "And it goes for this part of our relationship too. I want to do... so much with you. I just don't know where to start. How to make it not hurt, or upset you." He hesitated. "Like I'm doing now."

"It's fine." SJ dabbed at his eyes. "Qingge... you've never read a dirty book before? Or even touched yourself?"

"I mean..." LQG wasn't entirely sure if gugu's books counted for the former. "I've thought about you at night. A lot, actually."

"Yeah?" SJ looked up at him shyly. "When you were in bed by yourself?"

"Mm." LQG nodded, throat parched. "Especially when we were apart. I would even sleep with your clothes sometimes - "

"Pervert," SJ squeaked, bright red.

"I want you," LQG said.

His husband began to squirm again, yet this time there was a bashful scent in the air.

"A'Jiu, I want you," LQG repeated. "Want to kiss up and down your jaw and make you sigh.

Want to pull your robes apart like a lotus flower and put my mouth on every part of you like you did to me and then some. Want to make love to you every night - "

"Okay, okay!" SJ ripped his hands away and covered his face. "You're horny, Liu Qingge, good for you. Dear god, I _did_ not think you had this in you. Clearly I was a fool to assume different."

LQG grinned, emboldened after his confession; it was so _rare_ to see SJ genuinely discombobulated, and he wanted to push his luck. "What about it? Do you want me too?"

"I want to stuff a pillow into your mouth and ensure you never speak aloud again," SJ sniffed.

"A'Jiu...."

"Yes, fine! Yes, of course I want you," SJ practically yelled. "I sucked your dick, didn't I? The next time I do _that_ I'm putting teeth into it, I swear!"

"I want to do that too," LQG said in a rush. "Can I, A'Jiu?"

"What, right now? No! I didn't wash, and besides I don't trust you in the state you're in," SJ huffed. "Just go to sleep already."

"But - "

"Enough, Qingge! I need to cool down too." SJ finally got up and left the luohan bed. "Don't follow me!" he shouted when LQG got up too.

"Just come back soon then!"

"No, I'm staying out all night!"

Tsk. LQG grudgingly stayed in the house while SJ fled, no doubt to dunk his head under a waterfall. His husband could be so skittish for no reason sometimes...

*

"Fine," SJ said the next evening after they returned home from the dining hall. "Do you trust me, Qingge?"

LQG's heart skipped a beat. "Absolutely."

"Then get ready to go out," his husband sniffed, and dragged him into their bedroom to change. "Tonight, you're going to become cultured. And oh, no complaints until the night is over."

Were they going to have a date out in town? LQG and SJ both changed into plain dark robes and swapped out their distinct silver guans, both carved with the falcon sigil of the Liu clan, for non-descript guans instead.

They even put cloaks on, and left Bai Zhan under the cover of darkness.

Down Cang Qiong's ten thousand steps they went and into the bustling city at night, LQG following patiently behind his husband as he walked through the crowded streets at a brisk pace.

"Here." SJ stopped abruptly and LQG almost crashed into him. "Just let me do all the talking tonight, okay? The last thing we need is to get caught and have to explain things to Qi-ge. Oh, put up your hood already..."

LQG didn't realise what he was talking about at first, distracted by SJ fussing over his clothes.

Then he turned his head to the large wooden building they were standing in front of and saw the strings of glittering lights hanging from the windowsills above, heard the sultry music and tasted the cloyingly sweet incense in the back of his throat.

And hanging above the entryway was a grand sign writ in extravagant gold paint: _Red Warm Pavilion_.

Oh, LQG thought, feeling heady already. His husband had brought him to a brothel.

And judging by the grim determination on SJ's face as he pulled LQG inside, neither of them were going to leave until dawn.

END OF PART II

(this part is finally over! Apologies for any weird tonal shifts - this part was written in haphazard chunks over two weeks and I wasn't quite sure how to make one scene connect with another. Writing can be janky sometimes 🥲 hope you enjoyed reading!)