Thread by @lungareaux

“If you could have anything, what would you want right now?”
“Doc, I know it’s counterintuitive, since it’s what got me here... *long pause* but I haven’t had a drink in over 13 years.”
“What’s your drink of choice?”

7:45AM: I left the hospital and crossed the street.

He wanted a glass of wine. A red. But not just any red. A Cabernet Sauvignon, dry but not too dry.

Fortunately we have similar tastes. I picked out a familiar label.

For good measure, I sauntered over to the kitchenware aisle and picked up a set of 4 long stemmed, round bowl-shaped glasses. I checked out and wrapped the wine in enough bags to obscure the shape and label. I crossed back to the hospital parking lot and returned to his room.

He was going home on hospice today. This has been the plan. He knows he’s not a transplant candidate because of his comorbidities. He’d expressed his wishes since he received his diagnosis over a decade ago. He never wavered. No dialysis, DNR, DNI.

We met just a few days ago. He was in pain. He was septic. He was dying. He knew. He said this is why he made his advanced directive so many years ago.

We did what we could to make him comfortable, but his body wasn’t strong enough to beat the infection.

His partner knew he was ready, and despite having different wishes, was accepting of his decision.

Today was the day he’d leave for hospice. And he had just one request. So I found myself in his room, before 8AM, pouring him a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, dry but not too dry.

“You aren’t going to get in trouble for this, right?”

He’s dying. He’s in liver failure, renal failure, and septic. But his only concern is if I’ll get busted for our contraband this morning. He laughed as I placed a bendy straw in the glass and held it for him.

He left the hospital a few hours later. I don’t expect to see him again. But for just a few minutes, as he sipped his wine, and as I sipped my coffee, I saw a glimpse of the person he was before his body betrayed him. Bright, humorous, empathetic, and warm.

Some days you figure out a difficult diagnosis, some days you find the perfect treatment, some days you have an incredible result.

But some days, you just go across the street to buy wine at 7:45AM. Because that’s what your patient needs. And maybe what your soul needs as well.

Cheers to hospice and having the beautiful ability to see someone have their wishes honored. Cheers to sneaking wine into hospital rooms. And cheers to a Cabernet Sauvignon, dry but not too dry. #humanism #medtwitter #humanismalways #hospitalist #hospice #endoflife