Thread by @hollowearthterf

Lauren’s story is all too common on the Right. When I was a Trad, I started to sour on it all before I had even gotten married. Publicly people were championing family values but privately almost every woman I knew was unknowingly describing abuse occurring in their homes.

I can only remember one marriage that was actually enviable and it’s because her husband was a very lowkey easygoing guy who wasn’t very political and she secretly wore the pants, she also ran a business from home and made her own money

2 of the women I knew had to flee their homes because they were being beaten, most of the husbands struggled with alcoholism and porn addiction, the wives were overworked, had no financial independence, were living in poverty with multiple children, and constantly being put down

Most of the women were being run ragged and miserable and clearly had undiagnosed PPD because they were left caring for multiple young children and aging parents while their husbands barked at them and offered no help while demanding to be treated like a king

I remember one girl who was constantly frustrated by her husband who was much less intelligent than her but she had to obey him despite his decisions being financially ruinous. She told me once that “the libs were right, having kids sucks but you do it because of duty”

One of the women who was dealing with DV had been pressured into marrying the man within a matter of months because she was early 30s and wanted kids, it turned out that he had been hiding his alcoholism during their courtship and let it loose on her once she said I Do

Of the few women that had successful husbands, they were bored and under-stimulated, they wanted to go back to work but it wasn’t allowed. One woman I knew was married to a fed, he got doxxed/fired, she was a well educated woman with doctor parents and good prospects

She gave all of that up to be a SAHM, complained about it every day in private online groups because she wanted to do more with her life while shaming and policing other women who were not sure about motherhood. All of this to end up humiliated in the news very publicly

This very sweet autistic tradcath girl who wanted nothing more than to get married started dating one of the guys in our online community, he spent the entire relationship sending her diet tips, photoshopping her body to show her what it could look like, and giving her an ED

He would scream at her telling her constantly she was not good enough, it turned out he had violent a criminal record despite being an engineer and very much looking like one. Her BMI was like 21 max, she was by no means overweight. He was just obsessed with anorexic women.

Another woman was just constantly being cheated on and her husband did nothing to help with the kids and the household while she worked full time, she eventually divorced him

One woman’s husbands went into full on fundie psychosis and started beating her because god was commanding him to, she had an infant child at home and had to flee with basically no money and her family in another country

One girl has this Viking pagan influencer husband that was clearly cheating on her, I remember her crying that her husband refused to do anything for her on Mother’s Day and all of the men laughed at her and called her a dumb thot

Another girl moved all the way here from Europe to get married, her husband refused to find better job so they could afford to start a family and kept entertaining other women’s advances while she was busy trying to get her papers so she could legally work

It just goes on and on like this, most of the women were from troubled homes and were looking for an answer, for stability. They just wanted to have the happy family life they never got. The men were almost all predators waiting to take advantage of lost and broken young women.

I totally get the desire to just want to have that happy idyllic marriage and beautiful children you love, but you’re not going to find it here. These are the very last men who will give you that. They are extremely dark people filled with self loathing and hatred. Stay far away.