Thread by @UpshotTowers

It's been four days since City won the treble, and Jack Grealish still hasn't been to bed.

But if anyone can handle the sesh, it's Jack.

Booze, boobs and benders in Beefa: meet football's last great party animal...

Our story begins in 2015, when 19-year-old Jack Grealish heads to Tenerife for a lads holiday.

After a night swigging buckets of booze on the strip, he's found passed out in the street at 8am.

Asked to explain himself by the papers, he replies: "I'm on the floor apparently".

He's back on the floor during Aston Villa's derby against hated rivals Birmingham.

In the middle of the match, a Birmingham fan runs on and punches him from behind.

Grealish recovers, scores the winner and declares it "the best day of my life".

As his career takes off, Jack develops a taste for the sesh.

But he's in trouble when he crashes his Range Rover while leaving a party at 8am.

After "a series of almighty collisions", neighbours emerge to see Grealish wearing odd shoes and looking "unsteady on his feet".

Not long after, this photo surfaces of him in bed with a topless woman.

Back on the pitch, he terrorises defences and rescues Villa from relegation in 2020.

That summer, The Times ask him what he'd do if he wasn't a footballer.

"I'd be a club promoter", he replies. "Tenerife or Ibiza. I would be getting everyone into the club."

In fairness, he'd probably have more luck directing punters to the club than he would to his hometown...

Before Euro 2020, BT Sport ask Jack to point to Birmingham on a map of the UK.

"What is that - England?" he asked, gawping at the map, before admitting "I've got no chance".

And he's equally stumped when he's asked if he's "an encyclopaedia of football".

"A wha? I don't know what that means", he replies.

Jack becomes a popular member of the England squad, unless you're West Brom-supporting kitman, Pat Frost.

After repeatedly screaming "Fuck the Albion" at Pat, Grealish is pulled aside by Gareth Southgate and asked to tone it down.

When England lose the final, Jack heads to Vegas for an Inbetweeners-style week with the lads.

With a big move to Man City on the cards, he's advised to keep a low profile.

But his hotel erect a 40ft billboard welcoming them, and Jack's spotted off his nut leaving a club.

That summer, Pep Guardiola makes him the most expensive British player of all time, buying him for £100 million.

He struggles at first, but it's not all bad news: the tabloids name him the man most women would like to "bonk".

And when City win the league, he leads the party.

When England arrive for the World Cup in Qatar in November, they're given a huge welcome.

And no one is more impressed than Jack, who sounds a bit like a six year old writing about their holiday.

After fans criticise England for a goalless draw against the USA, Jack tells an interviewer that England were "the best thing since sliced veg".

He later denies it, insisting he'd said "sliced bread".

But he definitely didn't...

So he never stood much chance of delivering a message to City's Chinese fans in Mandarin.

At least he had a go...

After City complete the treble, Grealish goes on the mother of all benders.

On the way home, he stops off in Ibiza for a 10 hour party.

He gets so smashed Kyle Walker has to hold him up as he gets out of a taxi, and airport staff offer him a wheelchair.

Four days on, he still hasn't been to bed.

If you like party animals, you'll love our special on Maradona's chaotic spell in the dugout.

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