Thread by @JFloyd314

Not going to reply to or QT this because it's utterly revolting and I don't want to amplify it, but this does need a response, especially because I've seen a disturbing number of #LDS accounts who I normally respect amplifying it as if it's doctrinally sound. 1/🧵

2/ Let me start by saying that any time a marriage ends in divorce, it’s a tragedy. A marriage is a very sacred and serious commitment, and the Lord views the breakdown of marriages as one of the great evils of our day. But divorce is sometimes very necessary.

3/ My mother served her mission in Chile, a nation which, at the time, still did not have a legal mechanism for divorce (divorce was finally legalized in 2004). In one of her areas, she taught a huge family--mother, father, and eleven kids, most of whom still lived at home.

4/ This good family was receptive to the gospel and wanted to be baptized, but couldn’t initially because the mother and father, despite having lived together for over three decades and having eleven kids together, were not married. Why? Because as a teenager, this dear sister

5/ ended up roped into a marriage to an older man who was cruelly abusive. She eventually (bravely) took matters into her own hands and ran away, and she soon met a good man and started a family with him.

6/ However, they could not marry because her marriage to her first husband was legally insoluble. This denied their family many legal benefits and caused an array of problems for them.

7/ (Postscript: despite the parents remaining legally unmarried, the family was eventually able to obtain First Presidency permission to be baptized and sealed in the temple due to these extenuating circumstances.)

8/ In a similar vein, I have a dear friend whose close family member recently escaped from an abusive marriage. She is now, thankfully, divorced and has full custody of her son. For her, divorce was not a luxury--it was a necessity to protect her safety and that of her child.

9/ I know another individual who, after more than two decades of marriage to a severe pornography addict, finally obtained a divorce a few years ago. She tried desperately to “make it work for the kids”,

10/ but ultimately, all his continued pornography abuse did was cripple their relationship and make them less effective parents. A divorce was necessary for the good of her kids and her own well-being.

11/ This brings me to the crux of the incredibly stupid tweet screenshotted at the start of this thread. This person is arguing that every couple should be required to stay together for the benefit of their children. I shouldn’t have to say this, but that’s insane.

12/ There are numerous conceivable situations (I’ve just mentioned three) where a divorce is infinitely safer, healthier, and more likely to produce positive outcomes for children than the maintenance of an abusive or unhealthy marriage.

13/ Now, with that said, in the absence of physical or severe emotional abuse, the ideal is for spouses to remain together and work through their issues. It is objectively better for children to be raised by two competent parents than by one--

14/ every reliable measure indicates that two-parent households generally produce the best outcomes for children. However, that’s obviously not the case when one of the spouses is unrepentantly abusive or refuses to resolve serious transgressions.

15/ In that case, child-raising outcomes can only be worse if the marriage is maintained.

In a perfect world, there would be no abuse, no infidelity, no addiction. In a perfect world, spouses would be able to resolve any issue between them amicably and make their marriages work

16/ for the benefit of their children. But this isn’t a perfect world.

There are people who, quite frankly, need to get away from a spouse for their own safety and that of their children. Marriage does not magically make a bad person good.

17/17 For that reason, divorce must remain an option. A last resort, yes, but an option. It gives vulnerable people the power to get away from unsafe situations and protect themselves and those they love.