Thread by @bingjiuwus

#bingjiu

Overworked and lonely businessman Shen Jiu finds an injured homeless teenager passed out in front of his apartment building one rainy evening... though SJ just wants to call an ambulance and get the punk out of his hair, the boy wakes up and begs not to be sent away...

And so SJ grudgingly takes him inside and fixes him up and agrees to let him crash on his couch... for one night 😾

(Little does he realise though...)

Binghe, as the brat's called, ends up staying with SJ indefinitely.

The kid is clearly a runaway or something like that, and whatever's going on with his own past he clearly has no desire to return to it nor try and make it on the streets again.

Instead the kid does everything he can go prove SJ should keep him: he cooks, he cleans, he does the laundry and shopping and makes SJ's apartment, which has always felt so cold since his divorce, feel like home again.

Instead of spending all his time at work and buying crappy takeout for all his meals, SJ finds himself coming home right after he's clocked out... and arriving to a lovingly cooked meal and a cheeky brat in a threadbare pink apron waiting for him.

After a few months SJ finally admits defeat and clears out the spare room in his apartment (he'd kept it locked before) and tells Binghe to use it as his bedroom; the kid's been sleeping on the couch all this time, despite being too tall for it to be comfortable).

They even go shopping together and SJ buys Binghe new clothes and gets him a haircut for the occasion.

And look, he's not stupid. SJ knows their situation is weird, and if it happened to anyone else he'd have called the cops a long time ago.

But the kid's had a thousand opportunities to rob SJ blind or blackmail him and he's never tried anything; he doesn't even buy anything for himself when SJ gave him a credit card for shopping.

Binghe seems happy enough living only in the present, and SJ doesn't want to think about his miserable past either. So even if it's a little off, can't they just be happy like this?

It's not like the world has ever cared about them either, so can't they just have a little corner of peace all their own?

Time passes, and they both grow healthier (especially SJ haha) and happier. SJ realises it's been over a year since he had any nightmares or had any health issues from work, which coincides with when Binghe first moved in with him.

To celebrate the occasion SJ buys a cake and champagne and asks Binghe to come on a vacation with him. SJ only ever spent his vacations at home before, either just sleeping in bed or lying on the couch. But now it feels like he has a reason to do things and live again.

Binghe excitedly agrees and manages to wrangle some champagne out of SJ when he tells him he's "finally" eighteen now.

SJ offers to get him a new identity because he still has nothing on him and he can't ever get a real job like this, but Binghe says it's ok and thanks SJ for being there for him.

And honestly, SJ has no idea why the kid even likes him; SJ is grumpy even on his good days and incredibly set in his ways. Literally all he does is let Binghe live with him and pay the bills, and the kid does everything else. He'd even clip SJ's nails if he let him!

... but considering how hard it is to find people in the world who can even tolerate him anymore, much less want to stay with him, he gets it.

The kid is a nosy smartass who tries way too hard to be a platonic housewife, but he knows when to stay out of SJ's business and doesn't pressure him onto being "nice" when he doesn't have the energy for it.

So when it's time, they go on vacation together. They spend an amazing month in Yunnan Province doing whatever comes to mind: drinking tea, eating great food, hiking and buying random stuff for the apartment and each other.

And SJ... is happy.

He never thought he'd be happy again, not after he got divorced from the love of his life and returned to his empty void of an existence.

People like SJ only got their one chance at a good life and when they lost it, they either died of heartbreak immediately or passed away forgotten and alone in their 80s.

He wasn't supposed to have a second chance like this, to have this gorgeous young man revolve around him like SJ was his personal sun.

But here they are, and Binghe keeps gently flirting with him, like he doesn't remember that he's barely legal and SJ is already 40, like their relationship isn't already off-kilter enough as it is.

But the kid is irresistibly charming, and SJ is weak. Weak to being wanted, not just needed, and looked at like he's beautiful, and desirable, and there's nothing wrong with him. It's been so long since anyone looked at him like he was worth anything at all.

So one evening SJ accepts Binghe's oblique advances and they have sex. It's... absurd how good it is, even though the brat has no idea what he's doing and SJ has to coach him through everything 😭

The sheer fact that Binghe is still enamoured with him after seeing SJ naked, all his old scars from childhood and too-skinny bones, is overwhelming.

After, Binghe confesses his love and SJ admits the same, even though he's terrified of what could happen next.

Does their relationship even have a future? Can it? SJ doesn't know.

But... he wants to try. He really does.

They spend the rest of the vacation as a couple. SJ even wonders about moving here after retirement, as he's never felt so at peace, and Binghe offers to build him the house himself.

They return home, excoted to start a new chapter of their life together... only there's a black car waiting for them in front of their place, with a bunch of men in suits who try to take Binghe away.

The kid freaks out, of course, and SJ attacks one of the men restraining him - only when the cops show up, SJ is the one who gets arrested.

Unable to think of anyone else, he calls his boss (and ex-husband) Yue Qingyuan for help and the man drives over in the middle of the night to get SJ released without being charged.

SJ is finally let go, but when he begs YQY to help Binghe, the man shuts him down and asks SJ if he knew how close he was to being put away for years.

Far from a random vagrant teen, Binghe was the only son and heir of the business tycoon Tianlang-jun.

Apparently the boy had been hidden by his mother for years and his father only learned about him a few years ago, bringing Binghe to live with him - until he suddenly went missing a year ago.

YQY assures SJ he knows he never meant any harm by taking the boy in but he should have called the cops a long time ago and let Binghe return to his rightful family, where he would one day inherit a massive fortune and company from his father.

And SJ. Didn't know. Didn't know the kid who clipped coupons in his spare time and saved up every veggie scrap and chicken bone for stock never had to worry about anything at all, that he could buy out SJ's entire neighbourhood in his sleep.

What had the point of the last year even been? Had he been saving Binghe from a terrible life... or had he just been wasting his time and fooling himself?

SJ refuses YQY's offer to come home with him for the night and returns to his apartment. He ends up not sleeping at all, especially when he realises people went through his belongings... and everything in Binghe's bedroom was taken entirely.

No stone was left unturned; everything is gone.

SJ finds himself in a stupor, no longer eating nor able to focus on work. He ends up taking a leave of absence and just ends up sitting on the couch and staring at the blank TV, empty-headed until day turns to night.

He's dying of heartbreak, he realises. His divorce from YQY didn't kill him... but this will.

And SJ even welcomes it. There's nothing to live for anymore.

SJ wakes up on the couch one day to the smell of congee. Maybe YQY let himself in; SJ never changed the locks, even after he moved out.

But YQY couldn't cook either. And that humming...

It's Binghe in the kitchen, cooking for him. Only, instead of the ragged loungewear he loved, he was in a suit with only his blazer off.

And SJ no longer knows what to do.

Just kidding - the moment they match gazes SJ freaks out and starts yelling, demanding to know WTF Binghe is doing here after the last time they saw each other. Was the kid proud about lying to him, about using him as a vacation pad away from his rich father? Was he?

SJ doesn't realise just how worn down and tired he's gotten until he actually gets up to slap the shit out of Binghe, only to collapse and hit his head on the table.

Binghe begs SJ to go to the hospital but SJ refuses, telling him to get out. Binghe vows he never meant to misled SJ, as until recently he led a small and poor life in the countryside until he was found by his father.

Binghe couldn't cope with the stress and expectations of his new life, however, and fell into self-destructive behaviour to lash out until one day he ran away and was left with nothing. He swears that the day SJ found him was the best day of his life and he still loves him.

SJ is still heartbroken however and refuses to listen, especially when the doorbell rings and he knows it's Binghe's father's people coming to take him away again.

SJ gets a call from YQY too; TLJ's people visited their company and made it clear what would happen if SJ continued to see Binghe.

It's not a threat; it's a promise.

SJ doesn't acknowledge Binghe when the boy is taken away again, even with the latter pleading to look at him.

He dumps out the congee the kid made for him too, refusing to even consider it.

It's just... this is how things always go for him, huh?

SJ returns to work eventually, though he's even more isolated and disliked than before. When a high profile client fires them due to TLJ's connections, YQY offers to sell the company while it's still valuable and split the money with SJ.

The company is YQY's lifeblood and SJ knows the man would be untethered without it. He also knows they're only in trouble because of him... and so SJ finally quits and walks away.

He already knows he's not going to live forever. Men like SJ can survive only one heartbreak, not two.

So he does what he should have done a long time ago, clears out his apartment and sells it and buys a one-way ticket to Yunnan, where he plans to wander and live until either his funds dry up or he dies of an exhausted heart, whichever comes first.

And so, time goes by. SJ rents a room in a hostel in a mountain village and spends his lonely days doing whatever; drinking tea and eating what he can stomach down, falling asleep to the stars... and letting himself cry when he feels like it.

Once, twice, he fell in love. He'll never be that lucky again.

And he doesn't want to be. He just wants to die in peace, forgotten and alone.

A year passes, maybe two; SJ doesn't count the days anymore. He stopped keeping in contact with YQY after the man assured him business was good again, changing his number.

(That's good, at least.)

The last of SJ's funds are running out, and he's both too tired now to work for a living nor live off of other people's charity.

When it's time, he'll just... go, and not leave a mess for anyone else to clean up.

On SJ's last night in the hostel he goes up on the rooftop and watches the stars. He used to point out the constellations to Binghe when they came here the first time, telling him about this and that and laughing at the wonder in his eyes.

Falling in love with those eyes.

And SJ is still in love. In love with a boy half his age, who had nothing in common with him, who never needed him in the first place. Who only ever ran away from amlife of luxury and spent a dreamy, perfect year with him because...

Because he too, had nothing else to live for.

And SJ cries.

He doesn't know if he's sorry for pushing Binghe away the last time they saw each other or for ever letting him into his home in the first place. He doesn't know if he wishes the kid was honest about his past upfront or if he should have kept it a secret forever.

But he does know this:

When Binghe told him on that day that he still loved SJ, every part of him was happy.

It's not fair. It's just not fair, how these things turn out.

SJ cries his heart out, and then he wipes his tears with his sleeves and gets up to head down the stairs again, only to crash into a stranger on the way down.

They collide into each other and SJ opens his mouth to yell at the asshole ruining his last night on earth when he hears a familiar voice gasp, and freezes.

He doesn't recognise who it is at first; the man is built instead of rangy and lean, and wearing a neat suit that's completely out of place in this budget hostel.

But he'd recognise those black curls anywhere... and the damp sheen in those shining black eyes, even in the dead of night.

Oh. Binghe was crying too.

SJ can barely process what's happening, much less how the kid's changed and how he found him.

Just... what is he doing here?

"I wanted to see you," Binghe admits. "I've always wanted to see you."

SJ wants to pretend he didn't feel the same way, but they both know he'd be lying. He'd also been staying in the same place since he came to Yunnan, so it wouldn't be hard for Binghe to find him with his resources.

It was just...

"You came to see me," SJ croaked.

"Mm." Binghe nodded, looking young and nervous all over the place when though he was an adult now. "I did."

"And your father? Does he know?"

"He does," Binghe said in a quiet voice. "I told him I would come to you whether he liked it or not."

Uh huh. "And he let you?" SJ mumbled.

"I said he could either keep me or disinherit me, but he couldn't keep me away any longer. Not like before."

"And he gave in," SJ said. Binghe didn't look like he could be bullied anymore. "Good for you."

Even so, it had been so long. None of it mattered anymore. SJ didn't matter anymore.

Did he?

"He gave in," Binghe repeated. "But gege..." He reached for SJ's hands, held them in his own warm grasp. "I quit anyway."

"You - " SJ blinked. "You did what?"

"I quit," Binghe said. "And the only thing I'm sorry for is that I didn't do it sooner. I let myself believe you hated me - didn't want to see me anymore. That was why I didn't - " He swallowed. "Why I didn't dare show my face before."

SJ shook his head. "I _did_ hate you," he whispered. "I said you were just a liar, that you just used me, that..."

That he never wanted to see him again.

"No." Binghe nuzzled his hands, kissed his fingers. "Gege loves me more than anyone else in the world. I know you."

"And I love you too," he added. "I love you so much my heart could burst right now. The years without you were agony; I thought I would die of heartbreak every day I couldn't see you."

"But you won't," SJ croaked. "You can survive heartbreak."

Anyone could survive heartbreak once.

(He had too, once upon a time.)

"I don't want to," Binghe said. "I want to live with gege and die on the same day you do. I want to cook for you and fall asleep next to you on the couch.

I want to grow old with you and adopt a cat and do everything together. The only thing I don't want is to make gege cry like that ever again."

SJ didn't know if he could ever stop crying, the tears flowing down his face silently. "I don't know what I want anymore," he gasped. "Or if I'm allowed to want anything ever again."

You are." Binghe was crying too. "You can have it all from now on. Whether you want to live or die, I'm coming with you. I'm not going anywhere without you anymore."

SJ shook his head. "You can't die, you're too young."

"Then you're too young too," Binghe countered.

"I'm not, I'm old and my body is falling apart - "

"So let me take care of you, let me love you again."

"I don't deserve it - "

"You deserve it," Binghe said. "You deserve kindness, you deserve love, you deserve me."

He closed his eyes, brow pressing against SJ's, breath soft and warm and soothing even in the chill of night.

"Even if it's just for one more night," Binghe whispered. "Just let me be here with you, gege. We still have the sunrise to watch together."

SJ shuddered against him, holding him right. It was right; they'd seen the stars plenty of nights together, but they'd never stayed up for the sunrise before.

"I want..." He swallowed a lump in his throat, felt it pass over the hole in his heart and threaten to bury it.

"I want to see the sunrise too," SJ said. He didn't think he'd wanted anything more in his life.

"Me too, gege," Binghe said, and smiled with tears in his eyes. "Me too."

END

(don't know where this super sad story came from, I just wanted to write a silly Kimi wa Petto AU at first 😭 the ending was looking pretty dark there for a while!

And yes... there will be many more sunrises to come 🥲)