When Roman Abramovich rocked up at Chelsea, it kicked off an incredibly weird decade of silverware, scandal and simmering sexual tension.
It was the stuff of Hollywood: guns in training, blood-sucking strikers and enough coke to see off Scarface.
Welcome to the Roman empire...
It was the stuff of Hollywood: guns in training, blood-sucking strikers and enough coke to see off Scarface.
Welcome to the Roman empire...
In the long hot summer of 2003, weirdo oligarch Roman Abramovich snaps up Chelsea from Ken Bates.
During a helicopter ride over London, Roman spots Regent's Park and announces: "that will be our training ground".
When Bates tells him the Queen owns it, Abramovich just shrugs.
During a helicopter ride over London, Roman spots Regent's Park and announces: "that will be our training ground".
When Bates tells him the Queen owns it, Abramovich just shrugs.
Within weeks, scandal strikes: keeper Mark Bosnich tests positive for cocaine.
He admits to snorting six grams a day, and promising his girlfriend Sophie Anderton: "for every line you do, I'll take two".
And he's not the only one smashing gear between matches...
He admits to snorting six grams a day, and promising his girlfriend Sophie Anderton: "for every line you do, I'll take two".
And he's not the only one smashing gear between matches...
After a string of boozy benders, a hungover Adrian Mutu tests positive for cocaine.
He insists it's only to "improve my sexual performance".
3 weeks later a Romanian porn star claims Mutu "sucked my blood like a vampire".
Chelsea sack him.
He insists it's only to "improve my sexual performance".
3 weeks later a Romanian porn star claims Mutu "sucked my blood like a vampire".
Chelsea sack him.
Back on the pitch, new manager Jose Mourinho delivers Roman his first title.
But the tabloids spoil the party by unearthing a video of captain John Terry.
It shows the skipper standing on a bar, pissing in a pint glass and dropping it.
But the tabloids spoil the party by unearthing a video of captain John Terry.
It shows the skipper standing on a bar, pissing in a pint glass and dropping it.
It's not his first drunken offence.
Back in 2001, Terry, Frank Lampard and Eidur Gudjohnsen went on an ill-judged bender the day after 9/11.
They ended up at a hotel near Heathrow, where one of the group "waggled his dick" at some grieving American tourists.
Back in 2001, Terry, Frank Lampard and Eidur Gudjohnsen went on an ill-judged bender the day after 9/11.
They ended up at a hotel near Heathrow, where one of the group "waggled his dick" at some grieving American tourists.
As Chelsea dominate the league, Mourinho perfects the art of shithousery.
While serving a touchline ban, he sneaks into the Chelsea dressing room 7 hours before a match.
After giving his team talk, Jose is smuggled out of the stadium in a laundry basket.
While serving a touchline ban, he sneaks into the Chelsea dressing room 7 hours before a match.
After giving his team talk, Jose is smuggled out of the stadium in a laundry basket.
But the Blues' success makes them a target for tabloid stings.
The red tops brand Michael Essien a "love rat" for "scoring with a trollop".
And they claim Didier Drogba borrowed Abramovich's helicopter so he could race to Stringfellow's strip club after a game.
The red tops brand Michael Essien a "love rat" for "scoring with a trollop".
And they claim Didier Drogba borrowed Abramovich's helicopter so he could race to Stringfellow's strip club after a game.
Meanwhile, young striker Carlton Cole is over the moon when he's called up to the England squad.
But he suffers a brutal initiation when Wayne Rooney spikes him with Viagra, giving him a 3 hour erection in training.
"The stonker was there, he later recalls. "I had three legs".
But he suffers a brutal initiation when Wayne Rooney spikes him with Viagra, giving him a 3 hour erection in training.
"The stonker was there, he later recalls. "I had three legs".
After a harmless chat with glamour model Keeley Hazell at a house party, Joe Cole falls asleep on the sofa.
But he's woken at 5am by Keeley's West Ham fan boyfriend attacking him.
Terrified and covered in blood, Joe legs it to a minicab office without his shoes.
But he's woken at 5am by Keeley's West Ham fan boyfriend attacking him.
Terrified and covered in blood, Joe legs it to a minicab office without his shoes.
Abramovich eventually tires of Mourinho's drama, and in 2007 he looks for a cooler head.
He hires Avram Grant, seemingly unaware of the Israeli's insatiable appetite for prostitutes.
Grant is later snapped leaving FuFu's, a Thai massage parlour famed for its "happy endings".
He hires Avram Grant, seemingly unaware of the Israeli's insatiable appetite for prostitutes.
Grant is later snapped leaving FuFu's, a Thai massage parlour famed for its "happy endings".
Avram doesn't have much success on the pitch, but he clearly rubs off on his players.
Deco is filmed enjoying "a vile 'roasting' orgy involving 4 pals and another prostitute."
And suddenly, the sex scandals come thick and fast.
Deco is filmed enjoying "a vile 'roasting' orgy involving 4 pals and another prostitute."
And suddenly, the sex scandals come thick and fast.
In 2010, John Terry is caught knobbing the girlfriend of his teammate and "best friend", Wayne Bridge.
Now at Man City, Bridge quits the England squad and refuses to shake Terry's hand before a game.
And soon another Chelsea star is caught playing away...
Now at Man City, Bridge quits the England squad and refuses to shake Terry's hand before a game.
And soon another Chelsea star is caught playing away...
The gleeful tabloids catch Ashely Cole cheating on Cheryl Cole.
Hairdresser Aimee Walton tells the papers: "He slapped my backside so hard his wedding ring left an imprint".
Thankfully, Ashley can let off steam at the training ground...
Hairdresser Aimee Walton tells the papers: "He slapped my backside so hard his wedding ring left an imprint".
Thankfully, Ashley can let off steam at the training ground...
In 2011 he arrives at the club's Cobham base clutching an air rifle.
After "larking about with it in the changing room", he accidentally shoots a work experience kid.
Dripping with blood, the intern parades his wound in the club canteen.
After "larking about with it in the changing room", he accidentally shoots a work experience kid.
Dripping with blood, the intern parades his wound in the club canteen.
In 2012, Chelsea secure a a famous win over Barcelona in the Champions League semis.
Defensive lynchpin Branislav Ivanovic is on cloud nine.
But his childhood dreams are shattered on live TV when interviewer Geoff Shreeves breaks the news he's suspended for the final.
Defensive lynchpin Branislav Ivanovic is on cloud nine.
But his childhood dreams are shattered on live TV when interviewer Geoff Shreeves breaks the news he's suspended for the final.
Captain John Terry is banned for the big game too.
But after the Blues finally deliver Abramovich a Champions League trophy, Terry doesn't miss out.
He sprints on to lift the cup in full kit, including shin pads.
But after the Blues finally deliver Abramovich a Champions League trophy, Terry doesn't miss out.
He sprints on to lift the cup in full kit, including shin pads.
Speaking of silverware and sexual tension, you'll love our special on Maradona's wild time at Napoli.
From plastic penises to cocaine in the Pope's bathroom, this is the story Netflix won't tell you.
Read it here:
upshot.email/p/diego-marado…
From plastic penises to cocaine in the Pope's bathroom, this is the story Netflix won't tell you.
Read it here:
upshot.email/p/diego-marado…
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