Thread by @thomasafine

My God Grassley is embracing the Science Fiction Double Feature Bribery Scheme.

Why do I call it a Science Fiction Double Feature Bribery Scheme?

Because to make it work, Biden would have to have BOTH a time machine AND a mind control ray.

And even with both of these in hand, you can't construct a sensible plot that would fit into only a single movie.

The released FD-1023 clarifies the timeframe of when the bribe was initiated, making it thoroughly a time machine issue:

By this time, Shokin had nearly a full year and had done nothing to investigate Burisma (even though an open investigation already existed). So, Biden needs to go back in time, and use the mind control ray to keep Shokin from doing anything.

Except if he did that, then there's no reason for a bribe to remove him? Better to keep him there?

But it's a bad sci-fi movie plot, so let's just move forward and see how it plays out...

Shokin became PG in Feb 2015. By May we have the earliest calls for his removal.
This was an impressive use of the time machine and mind-control ray on Biden's part.
web.archive.org/web/2015080414…

By July, Biden's thorough use of the time machine and mind control ray had convinced the press that Shokin's investigative efforts so far were all just for show.
archive.kyivpost.com/article/conten…

Later in July, the time traveling mind control plot got Shokin to refuse to prosecute his prosecutors who were caught with bribery diamonds and there were more calls for his removal.
archive.kyivpost.com/kyiv-post-plus…

And by August, Biden was so successful in going back in time and manipulating both Shokin and the press that there was an article listing all of Shokin's failures, and 106 members of Rada (their parliament) had asked for hearings about his removal.
archive.kyivpost.com/article/conten…

Let's face it, this is a lot of time travel and mind control. It's impressive.

But again, I have to point out, why go to all this trouble to go back in time and manipulate Shokin, if he's going to remove him after a year?

But if that isn't enough... at the end of August a public petition for Shokin's removal was introduced and by mid October, Biden had used his time traveling mind control to get 25,000 people to sign it!!!
en.interfax.com.ua/news/general/2…

Also by October he'd gotten our European Assistant Secretary of State Victoria Nuland to request (at least obliquely, she was after all a diplomat) Shokin's removal.
https://t.co/rj2fabW2G5foreign.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/…

Oh and I can't believe I forgot about the Geoffrey Pyatt Speech in September.

Because Biden went back in time and used his mind control to get Pyatt to explicitly mention BOTH Shokin's failures AND Bursma owner Zlochevsky.

https://t.co/kMj2JTKKpsukrweekly.com/uwwp/u-s-offic…

There was just so much mind control.
archive.kyivpost.com/article/conten…

I mean, Biden even used time travel and mind control to organize protests of President Poroshenko for not firing Shokin, long before any of this bribery scheme ever happened.
archive.kyivpost.com/article/conten…

He even got Shokin to refuse to investigate Russian involvement in the deaths of protesters during the EuroMaidan revolution.
fakty.ua/207263-viktor-…

Finally, on December 7th, Biden ACTUALLY visited Ukraine. The following February, Poroshenko told Biden the he finally asked for Shokin's resignation, and two days later Shokin resigned.

Any RATIONAL examination of this timeline, where you set aside time machines and mind control rays, shows that Shokin was failing to do is job in numerous ways (including Zlochevsky/Burisma), and everybody knew this.

Removing Shokin put Burisma at risk.

Everybody knew that too.

This is why there are ZERO stories at that time, or even in the next couple of years, saying anything at all like this nonsense conspiracy theory. It makes no sense. It could only exist as the news faded. And only in the U.S. that never paid much attention in the first place.

If the press would DO IT'S FUCKING JOB, we wouldn't have to hear about this nonsense for one single second, because Grassley and Jordan and the rest couldn't get away with this bullshit.