Sir Kazam {blu tik} Profile picture
Jul 22 5 tweets 1 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Wknd 🧵- A short Bhakt whataboutery story

A bhakt goes to police station and asks to file an FIR saying robbers entered his house, molested women in his family, killed a family member & stole their things

Police in charge: More that 4 lakh crimes against women, more than…
1/5
…30 thousand murders & more than 30 thousand robberies are reported every year in India.

Where were you and Why didn’t you come to police to complain about all those crimes? Why this selective outrage about your family only? What’s this conspiracy to defame the country…
2/5
…..as if your family is the only one facing such crimes? Why are you sullying country’s image as if there is crime everywhere. Also, what about the Police Station in charge before me, were there no molestations, robberies, murders then? Why this selective outrage now?….
3/5
….Are you a Pakistani being paid by Soros for carrying out Nehru’s agenda? We are really angry and anguished at your behavior!!!

Bhakt: I am sorry (Peace be upon Savarkar). Aap ne meri aankhein khol di. No need for FIR. I am going home to admonish the molested women and….
4/5
….the dead body in my family for trying to defame the country. I am ashamed at myself for bringing this disgrace to the country because of crimes that my family faced.

Thank you for your anger and anguish. We are lucky to have you running the police.

The End (is near)

5/5

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Sir Kazam {blu tik}

Sir Kazam {blu tik} Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @SirKazamJeevi

Jul 9
Wknd 🧵- Community Insults

Apparently one can get convicted for insulting (even indirectly) a community, get disqualified & face jail

Here is the list for Modi

-Extra 2b kahan se aaya: insulted maths community
-Climate not changing we r changing: insulted climate change…
1/5
..scientific community
-Saw man using pipe & ulta bartan for nala gas: insulted all scientific community & our collective intellect
-‘Diddi oh diddi’ cat call: insulted sisters community
-STREANH: insulted spelling bee community
-600 Cr voted for BJP: insulted logic community
2/5
-People were ashamed to be born in India: insulted all Indians
-Cloud radar mumbo jumbo: insulted defense expert community
-Kapdon se pehchan lete hain: insulted a community
-I have photogenic memory: insulted photographic community
-I used camera and email with photo..
3/5
Read 5 tweets
Jul 1
Wknd 🧵- Journalistic(sic) Gems

20 of my favorite moments from Indian TV news, that symbolize why we are where we are.

Big thanks to my friend Ravi for the curation!

1/20
Let’s start with something soothing, with who else but Arnab
2/20
Maths lessons by Anjana
45 = 83 = 43 = 63
3/20
When Chaurasia went to the moon & back, in full astronaut costume
Read 11 tweets
Jun 24
Wknd 🧵- Top 5 Modi Photoshoot fails

Most Modi photoshoots are scripted, carefully produced & orchestrated. Bhakts obviously enjoy all but most of them hilariously fail. Here are my top 5

1-Modi meeting waste pickers with garbage neatly piled on a brand new red carpet 😂

2-Modi interacting with school children in a fake school, inside a badly constructed fake classroom with a fake window (which is, hold your breath…is drawn on the wall)
😂

3-Modi meets sanitation workers to wash the feet of 5 lucky workers. If you remember the video, everyone was super awkward & Modi was so impatient he just wanted to get it over quickly
But kya karein any stunt for votes 😅

Read 6 tweets
Jun 10
Wknd 🧵- Cricket, did you know?

-Don Bradman just hit 6 sixes in his entire test career

-Wasim Akram’s highest Test score of 257 is higher than that of Sachin Tendulkar's 248 not out

-Sanath Jayasuriya has more ODI wickets than Shane Warne

-West Indies is not a country

1/5
-Chris Martin & B.S Chandrasekhar have more career Test wickets than the test runs they scored

-L in LBW stands for Leg but means pretty much any part of the body

-Alex Stuart’s career test runs(8463) match his DOB (8/4/63)

-Graeme Smith is only one to captain 100 tests

2/5
-There have only been two tied test matches in the history of the game. Australia was involved in both

-Cricket was Introduced in Olympics in 1896

-Virat Kohli took a wicket of the 0th ball of his career. It was a wide

-Longest test match was 14 days

3/5
Read 5 tweets
May 28
Wknd 🧵- Mood of the Park Nation (& why we are doomed)

My uncle shared a few discussion topics from their group, who meet every evening at the local park. It was fascinating so I just listened & took notes (Not making any of this up, almost verbatim):

Read On👇….
1/14
-Apparently there was a queue in Japan for world leaders to touch Modi’s feet. Sunak also did it but Modi being humble didn’t release those pics
-Tesla wants to shift all their manufacturing from China to India. Waiting for Modi’s nod. Modi not giving them bhaav because….
2/14
..last time Musk didn’t agree to our conditions. Big announcement soon
-2000 note ban is part of a very big plan we can not even imagine. People will be surprised when Modi will share the actual objective. Wait
-All opposition parties r making a plan to stop Ram Mandir….
3/14
Read 14 tweets
May 19
Thread : New 20% TCS

I notice Bhakts are struggling to defend this MastersStroke by Modi & Nirmala. I am happy to help, here is the tool kit they can use:

-Those who travel overseas are very rich so should have no problem in paying 20% to help Modi make India vishvaGuru…

1/5
-Those criticizing the move are urban naxals & Modi haters who don’t want the extra tax to create development in India

-People have money to pay for premium Netflix plans, order extra toppings on Pizzas & upsize their meals at McDonald’s but they have a problem in….

2/5
…paying little extra tax that will make India 56 Trillion ton economy by 2047? Think

-People want to take pride in Statue of Unity, take pride in our beloved PM traveling the world in brand new planes, share videos of Modi’s very impressive (& flowery) road shows,..

3/5
Read 5 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

:(