Modi Will do non stop Bakwas in his speeches till last day of voting so that people don’t get a chance to ask him these questions:

-Why did Modi & his Govt fraudulently release convicted rapists & then rapists were garlanded in public function
-why doesn’t Modi talk about..
+ …his promise to bring back black money
-why doesn’t Modi talk about his promise to create 2 crore jobs per year
-Why did indian economy tank to 3.7% growth even before Covid
-Why do all corruption cases of politicians disappear after they join BJP
-Why did companies donate…
+

Wknd 🧵- If they were Modi 😊

After repeatedly resisting to disclose electoral bond data & getting whacked by SC, Modi now claims it’s him who brought transparency so he is the good guy!

If some famous characters were Modi, how would they claim to be good guys/gals? 👇 …
1/10 2/10
Duryodhan- If I had not disrobed Draupadi, there would be no Mahabharata TV serial & BR Chopra wouldn’t become successful so his son wouldn’t make Baghban movie.
I did it to promote love for parents, I am the good guy!

Elon MUSK in India -An article 🧵

Musk is planning to visit India in coming days to meet Modi
Yes in the middle of an election! The date is not a coincidence, & this isn’t just any other visit. Have a read 😊:

Why now?
Tesla has lost nearly 60% of its stock value over..
+ …last few yrs, is facing massive headwinds in China (its shining star so far) & Musk needs a new story to uplift Tesla stock (& his fortune)
But still, why in the middle of the elections? Because Modi needs a big news to prop him up even more than Elon’s need. So be ready…
+

Modi’s recent interview was as real as:
-his claim of working 18hrs
-his claim of having 56 inch chest
-his claim of never taking holiday
-his claim he used digital camera & email in 87
-his claim that Kabir, Guru Nanak & Baba Gorakhnath sat together to discuss spirituality
1/5 -his claim he as a child visited Kolkata metro
-his claim that all world leaders call him for advice
-his claim he saw someone using naala gas to make tea
-his claim he saw someone carrying gas in tractor tube to run a pump
-his claim, climate isn’t changing, we are changing

2/5

Electoral Bond Story, Explained

People: Emperor has no clothes
Bhakts: He is best dressed
People: But he is naked
Bhakts: You’re anti national, he is best
SC: SBI, please disclose emperor’s secret photos
Bhakts: SC has no clothes
SBI: Photos are not sorted. We need 4 months..
+ …to disclose photos
SC: You are lying, show them in 2 days
SBI: Ok
(SBI photos show emperor has no clothes)
Bhakts: Photos show others wearing less clothes
People: But the emperor is totally naked
Bhakts: 70 yr, Abdul, Pappu, Khangress, Bar Dancer, K2a, Ola Uber, ha ha ha…
+

Wknd 🧵-Modi Trailer vs Main Picture

Modi ji says what he has done in 10 yrs is just a trailer. Lot more will come in Main Picture, after he is elected again

A ‘colorful’(like saheb) thread on what he has delivered & what’s coming

1/11 2/11

Wknd 🧵: Nirmala-Navika Samvaad

A short satirical thread inspired by a recent Interview where Nirmala Ji told Navika Ji, who all are welcome to join the BJP

1/10 2/10

Wknd🧵-Bhagat Singh vs Modi Cult

Modi fans praise Bhagat Singh on March 23

If he was alive he would’ve waged a rebellion against what Modi, BJP & RSS stand for & doing. Read this thread of some his quotes, to understand why:

(Pls read & retweet to expose the goons)

1/17 “Mere faith and blind faith is dangerous. It dulls the brain and makes a man reactionary”

“Religion is the outcome of human weakness or the limitation of human knowledge”

“Criticism and independent thinking are the two indispensable qualities of a revolutionary”

2/17

When Modi tries to give gyan about respecting women, remember:
-They released & GARLANDED 11 convicted rapists so that they could win a few assembly seats. The release was called a Fraud by SC
-They continue to give endless paroles to convicted rapist Ram Rahim so that he can…
+ …. secure votes for BJP
-They kept mum when a women was paraded naked in Manipur & only reacted after it became viral on SM. Still no action against state Govt
-They still shield BrijBhushan even after female athletes cried telling their stories of molestation. Even police…
+

Pre Wknd 🧵- Bharat Ratna

(A “Fictional” Conversation Transcript)

Modi: Hamein join kar lo, mantri bana denge
Jayant: Kar toh lun lekin log bolenge communal logo ko join kar liya, vote cut jayenge farmers ke. Aap ke logon ne farmers ko terrorist bola thha, thoda sensitive….
+ ….matter hai sir. Kuch jugaad lagaiye
Modi: Toh hum Charan Singh Ji ko Bharat Ratna announce kar dete hain, tum bol dena kisano ka samman kiya iss liye join karna pada. Bol dena Modi Ji ne kisaano ka Dil jeet liya. Hum Godi media se 24/7 shor machwa denge ki kisaano ka best….
+

Morning Monologue by a Friend

A neighbor this morning greets my friend with Jai Shri Ram & he reciprocate with a smile. Neighbor says, “at least show some joy today, Ram aaye hain”

My friend: Do you realize you are so miserable even about feeling happy that your happiness..
+ …is incomplete unless you convince yourself others hate what you like

Since I know the root cause behind your comment, my dislike for Modi is based on his incompetence, megalomania, narcissism & buffoonery. None of that changes because of this temple inauguration. My aastha…
+

Wknd🧵-Modi Fumbles

Modi’s recent fumble (as usual) wishing Makar Sankranti made Bhakts swamp my TL explaining what संक्रमण means but no one explained what संक्रमणू (what Modi said) means. Yet another Modi fumble, yet another Bhakt brigade desperate cover up.

Any way,…
1/23 ..this prompted a 🧵 of a few of Modi’s embarrassing fumbles. His lack of education & knowledge comes across equally well in Hindi & English. Shows how difficult it is for IT cell to prop him up as a great orator

2/23
Let’s start with something simple to understand. Try this!

Met a friend for breakfast & he shared a fascinating story!

This began Two weeks ago:
-Big MNC India office
-‘A’ sends a long email to head of HR saying since Christmas tree is installed every year we should also put a poster of Ram Mandir at the reception
-HR head says…
+ …fine go ahead
-A puts a cardboard cutout of Ram Mandir (with Modi holding Shri Ram’s finger photo on it)
-Same MNC has a Global restructuring drive ongoing. India office gets its share, 100 plus employees get fired
-A is one of those who get laid off
-A complains to HR that…
+

Wknd 🧵-56 Lessor known Modi facts

We know Modi is a scientist, mathematician, inventor, tech wizard, linguist, snorkeler, fitness guru, wildlife champion, many other things & of course God

But bing humble, he doesn’t brag about the fact that:

1 Yoda calls him for advice
1/12 2 He knows Victoria’s Secret
3 He can what Rajnikant
4 He knows extra 2ab kahan se aya
5 He knew why Katappa killed Bahubali, before Bahubali 1
6 He knows melody itni chocolate bhari kaise bani
7 He has photogenic memory chip in his phone camera
8 Gajni can’t forget him

2/12

Zia ul Haq took over Pakistan leadership in 1978 & changed the course of that country by making religion the centerpiece of zealous nationalism. Islamization or Shariazation became nation’s core policy with glorification of him as a savior of hardcore Islam becoming a 24/7…
1/4 …message to citizens. He changed the judiciary, bureaucracy & even education to be solely focused on religious fundamentalism
Obviously economy, development, democracy, accountability all got buried under religious intoxication. His 10 years in office consumed the religion..
2/4

Wind 🧵- Classic Titles Reimagined

Are you a book lover? Here are some all time classics titles & authors reimagined for current times!

This is a parody but in Amrit Kaal, “We are such stuff as Parodies are made on”

1/20 2/20

Old Mandir/Masjid/Churches:

I find it amusing that People believe old temples/mosques/churches have a deeper connect with God. Fact is, those places were constructed by Rajas/Badshahs/Kings to make ordinary people believe that Royal families were closer to God than aam janta…
+ ..Most Royal families also made the Pandits/Mulllas/Priests tell people that Royal families were direct descendants and/or blessed directly by God to rule over people. So much so that every new Royal family broke old temples/mosques/churches (including many of their…
+

My earliest Christmas memory:
My English teacher (& our next door neighbor) Mrs Thomas told us in class that she wasn’t able to travel to meet her daughter & grandkids & was a bit sad to spend the Christmas alone. I came home & shared the same with my father. It was a….
+ …small town (didn’t even have a church), Christmas wasn’t a big thing and my father certainly didn’t know a lot about Christian culture
On Christmas day, he found an old calendar with Christ’s photo, cut it, put in an old photo frame & we showed up at Mrs Thomas’ door with…
+

Wknd🧵-The Polyonymous

जुमलेबाज, रडारभेदी, सत्याग्रही, मोर प्रेमी, विष्णु अवतार, कैमरादर्शी, नाला गैस निर्माता, दाढ़ी युक्त, लज्जा मुक्त, चर्चाखोर, क्रेडिट चोर, गुफा ध्यानी, परीक्षा ज्ञानी, उत्सव प्रधान, छप्पन ईंची नक़ली बलवान, असत्यवादी, सड़कछाप उन्मादी, भाषणवीर,..
1/4 …शाही फ़क़ीर, जासूसी सम्राट, विस्ता निर्माता, सर्वज्ञान ज्ञाता, किसान बिल पीड़ित, शरदी विशेषज्ञ, एक्स्ट्रा टूएबी गणितज्ञ, हौर्नी बल शाली, भाषा से मवाली, टेलीप्रोम्पटर भोगी, प्रेस कॉन्फ़्रेंस वियोगी, डोलाँड मित्र, वेशभूषा विचित्र, चीता प्रेमी, फ़ीता कृमि, उद्घाटन पसंद,..
2/4

Wknd 🧵- GDP PR Trapeze

Of late Modi PR machine is orgasmically anointing Modi as global economic messiah for India being 1 of the fastest growing economies in the world for 2022-23. This propaganda wants to bury 8 yrs of Modi mess under this 1 year growth number. Read on..
1/7 ..Growth% for India for this year is a relief on a stand alone basis after 8 yrs of mediocrity & it’s misleading to hail Modi’s 2 terms on this 1 yr data. In fact his tenure has been a spectacular mess driven by ‘propaganda over performance’ policy. Let’s explore the facts…
2/7

Mid Week 🧵- Clown Raja Singh

Yesterday I posted a video of Thakur Raja Singh, a BJP MLA using abusive language in a rally. Lot of zombies came crawling from their dark holes to cry on my TL. Maine socha bhakt hain, ro rahe hain toh ek informative thread bana kar beniphit..
1/n ..le sakte hain shayad 😀

This clown Raja btw has 100+ criminal cases against him, has been jailed a few times & was suspended for hurting Abdul sentiments by his own so called ‘Hindu’ BJ Party which later retracted (Modi style, for electoral compulsion) & gave him another..
2/n