Wknd🧵-L&T CEO, Bollywood Connect

After “Don’t stare at wife” advice, we realize so many iconic songs might have had hidden meaning😅:

1/10
Rumor is that L&T CEO stopped watching Rishi Kapoor movies after this song 2/10
It’s a Fact that Mithun could never get hired at L&T, because…

🧵-CRICKET (Not really)
We’ve lost the Border Gavaskar Trophy. it’s time for expert analysis. Here are the top 11+1
(It’s a satire but pls read it seriously😇)

1/12
Players didn’t work hard enough. We need to bowl 7 or 8 balls per over & no lunch or tea breaks if we want to win 2/12
We didn’t lose. Defeat is just another dimension of winning, if we celebrate the cosmic confluence of spiritual whataboutery, no force in the universe can defeat Bharat.

Wknd 🧵- Hindu Muslim Diaries

Off to a holiday in Rajasthan. Had asked the hotel to send airport pickup. Hotel is a leading Indian luxury brand. They called me yesterday, here is the conversation:
He: Sir just wanted to double check with you about your flight & pickup…
+ Me: Sure (I confirmed flight details)
He: Sir one more thing, small problem. Car is from hotel but driver is Muslim, koi dikkat to nahi hai aapko?
Me: Aap ne driver se poocha, usse koi dikkat hai?
He: Nahi sir, ussey kya dikkat hogi (laughs nervously), we’re just checking..
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🧵Why do BJP & Sanghis Hate Ambedkar?

It’s not a one off statement or a slip of tongue. They hate Ambedkar because of what he said & stood for. Here are 10 of the many reasons why they hate his guts.

1/10 Why do BJP & Sanghis Hate Ambedkar?
2/10

Wknd 🧵-Duniya Khodo Mission

SC has stayed Khudai in India but for Akhand Bharat, here is the list of countries to target for digging:

England- An ancient Gujarati queen Raani Ben (रानी बेन) built a temple in London which was demolished to make the clock tower Big Ben
1/11 Italy- Rome (obviously named after Shri Ram) had a Kaali & Shiva (काली शिवम) mandir which was destroyed by Sonia Gandhi’s ancestors to build Coliseum

Vatican City- This was another Vatika (वाटिका) Ravan had built to keep Sita Ma in case Ashok Vatika was destroyed by Mughals
2/11

Wknd🧵-10 Lows of Media on a High

Our media circus has been on a slippery slope since last 10 yrs. Here are the 10 legendary LOWS

1/10
Pradeep Bhandari chasing his tail like a rabid dog (He later officially joined the BJP as a national spokesperson) 2/10
Since we mentioned rabid dogs. Here is the campion of the rabid circus that media has become. Arnab at his rabid worst

Wknd🧵 - GDP experts
(This post is a satire but you should take it seriously)

Anti nasnals are saying India’s GDP Growth has weakened to a 2 year low, so we asked India’s top 10 experts to comment on it. Here goes:

1/10
Our GDP is not falling, other GDP’s are rising 2/10
Don’t use % etc to calculate the GDP growth, even Madam Curie didn’t use % to discover electricity

Why did Bangladesh separate from Pakistan?
Because they tried to impose Urdu as a ‘National Language’

Why is Pakistan now a failed nation?
Because Zia ul Haq changed the course of that nation towards Religion being the sole focus of governance. He suspended the constitution,
1/4 ..imposed sharia law & focused on desecularization, opposing western culture, press censorship all wrapped around religious intolerance. He was an authoritarian who killed democracy by using religion to brainwash citizens so he could rule as a king. He sold Islamization to..
2/4

Wknd 🧵- Arrey Diwano Issey Pehchano

जुमलेबाज, चुनावी कलाबाज़, रडारभेदी, बेनिफिट टूएबी, सत्याग्रही, सदैव सही, मोर प्रेम अपार, विष्णु अवतार, कैमरादर्शी, टोंटी फौट्टी सेविन दूरदर्शी, नाला गैस निर्माता, अरबी बादशाह भ्राता, दाढ़ी युक्त, लज्जा मुक्त, चर्चाखोर, क्रेडिट चोर,..
1/6 …गुफा ध्यानी, परीक्षा ज्ञानी, उत्सव प्रधान, छप्पन ईंची नक़ली बलवान, असत्यवादी, सड़कछाप उन्मादी, भाषणवीर, शाही फ़क़ीर, पेगासस जासूसी सम्राट, विस्ता निर्माता, सर्वज्ञान ज्ञाता, किसान बिल पीड़ित, मंकी बात उत्पीड़ित, शरदी विशेषज्ञ, एक्स्ट्रा टूएबी गणितज्ञ,…
2/6

Wknd 🧵- Trump’s inner circle & Similarities with India RW loonies

Trump’s inner circle is full of conspiracy theorists & propaganda spin masters who constantly feed his insecure ego. Of late, you would’ve heard of the new addition to Trump’s inner circle. meet Laura Loomer
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Let’s have a glimpse in to this new Trump confidant - Laura Loomer, the conspiracy theory loonie racist

Nowadays, she travels with Trump in his plane & has unrestricted access to him like a very few other republicans

She proudly calls herself a pro white nationalist &..
2/9

Wknd 🧵-Modi Jaisa Koi Nahi

Anyone asking Questions is anti national so we found someone who nobody can stop from criticising any one- Modi Ji the Non Biological himself!

1/24
Modi Ji slamming those who announce gimmicky packages. Don’t miss the end where he slams even harder 2/24
Modi Ji warning people about the very evil & despicable red carpet culture in the country. I hope every one in the Govt is listening to this humble MO-dest DI-vine God

Wknd 🧵- Non Biological Book Covers, Satire

They are trying to change History, appropriate our culture & apply a veneer of deceit on everything

So we have tried to reimagine how some famous book covers might look in the non biological era

1/20
Let’s start with a Malpua 2/20
Because in Mob we Trust

Wknd 🧵 - धर्मो रक्षति रक्षितः

Dharmo Rakshati Rakshitah is one of the most powerful Sanskrit phrases ever

So many Right Wing trolls/goons use it in their bio, but these rabble rousers neither know the actual meaning nor the origin/context of this profound & ancient phrase
1/10 “धर्मो रक्षति रक्षितः” is mentioned in Mahabharata & Manusmriti. Its literal translation means: “Dharma protects those who protect it”

Interestingly, the word ‘Dharma’ here doesn’t mean ‘Religion’ but is used as a reference for ‘Duty with Justice, Righteousness, Ethics &..
2/10

🧵 Nalanda - Credit Khor PawPaw

You’ve seen Modi’s Nalanda PR splash. Yet another case like UPI, GST where Modi attaches himself to stuff that started before his time

Here’s the chronology:

In 2006, President Kalam proposed the idea for the revival of Nalanda University
1/4 In 2007, The idea to resurrect Nalanda University was endorsed at the 2nd East Asia Summit by the 16 member countries

In 2009, during the 4th East Asia summit, ASEAN member states including Australia, China, Korea, Singapore & Japan promised further support to the University
2/4

Wknd🧵-PhotoJeevi Emperor

As we watch grand photoshoot of meditation PR extravaganza,

PhotoJeevi emperor is a master stroker, but all photoshoots aren’t always a success, here are some fails:

1/20
Subtle signal by emperor and a person blocking camera is pulled back magically 2/20
When the Emperor wanted to look like caring for education, the production team went overboard creating a “real” classroom WITH AN ALMOST REAL WINDOW

Short 🧵- Two Trending Phrends

1/4
Modi Ji did you hear about the historic verdict in America?
-I am meditating, pleejh don’t disturb

Ok ok, who can we talk to about your meditation?
-my phrand

Who ? 2/4
Mr Trump, sorry about your conviction for fraud
-it was beautiful, totally unanimous. Everyone saying it’s biggest ever, never seen before

Ok ok, you know your friend is meditating in India?
-Yes, because a fellow copied his meditation at the same place many yrs ago

Who?

Wknd 🧵-The Great Orator Part-2

Apart from fumbles & gaffes (that we covered in Part 1), He often tries to sound intelligent by lying & making up idiotic stories. A few snippets….

1/23
The famous one where he boasts of his glowing face & gives beauty tips to young kids 😂 2/23
The environment scientist making a fool of himself saying climate is not changing, we are changing. Once again, preaching stupidity to young children😅

Voting Day🧵-Please Remember

-Black Money still hasn’t been brought back to India
-100 smart cities still missing
-Petrol & Gas reprices still haven’t come down
-Value of rupee still continues to fall
-Still no bullet train
-There’s still no action on creating employment &…..
+ ..2 cr jobs per year still remains a Jumla
-80 cr people are still made to beg for ration & remain poor
-There’s still no action against BJP for manipulating Chandigarh mayor election
-There’s still no action against Home Ministry for fraudulently releasing convicted rapists
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Wknd 🧵- The Great Orator

As Bhakts fall over each other to defend Modi Ji’s District Capital gaffe, they pretend as if this was the first time Modi Ji fumbled

The Great Orator has a great track record of fumbles & buffoonery

1/24
Let’s start with The famous M R S Srisena 2/24

Introducing Philled Marshal KariBappa. KariBappa Morya Re…😅

May Field Marshall Cariappa’s sould rest in peace

Wknd🧵-India @ 75, a short essay
(pls read🙏)

When India got independence, it was in a very fragile & fragmented state. No one in the world gave this new nation any chance of survival, let alone of making progress
Against all odds, & monumental challenges stacked against us,..
+ …India made progress under every Prime Minister & while none of them were perfect, they all tried their best to take the nation forward & the journey has been extremely rewarding on many fronts for a country of our size & complexity. More so because everyone wrote off India…
+

Modi Will do non stop Bakwas in his speeches till last day of voting so that people don’t get a chance to ask him these questions:

-Why did Modi & his Govt fraudulently release convicted rapists & then rapists were garlanded in public function
-why doesn’t Modi talk about..
+ …his promise to bring back black money
-why doesn’t Modi talk about his promise to create 2 crore jobs per year
-Why did indian economy tank to 3.7% growth even before Covid
-Why do all corruption cases of politicians disappear after they join BJP
-Why did companies donate…
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