Wknd🧵-Vande Matram

A 10 hr debate on Vande Matram, so you forget falling rupee, petrol prices, Pakistan getting international support, corruption etc.

In hindsight, Vande Matram could also hide many other Modi achievements:

1/14 Hathras Rape coverup?
Say VANDE MATRAM & forget 2/14
Immigrant Workers during Covid?
Say VANDE MATRAM & forget

Wknd🧵- Great Orator (in Hindi)

Bhakts say we shouldn’t make fun of Modi Ji’s English. The problem isn’t the language. His gaffes & fumbles are equally entertaining in Hindi…

1/20
Go figure what The Great Orator is trying to say. Even Einstein Gravity Piyush isn’t impressed😅 2/20
If ‘Kehna Kya Chahte Ho’ had a perfect example! Love the way he always uses his hand (& finger) to make it easy to decipher 😀

Wknd 🧵- In His Glory 🙏

जुमलेबाज, चुनावी कलाबाज़,
रडारभेदी, बेनिफिट टूएबी,
सत्याग्रही, सदैव सही,
मोर प्रेम अपार, विष्णु अवतार,
कैमरादर्शी, टोंटी फौट्टी सेविन दूरदर्शी,
नाला गैस निर्माता, अरबी बादशाह भ्राता,
दाढ़ी युक्त, लज्जा मुक्त,
चर्चाखोर, क्रेडिट चोर,…

1/7 …गुफा ध्यानी, परीक्षा ज्ञानी,
उत्सव प्रधान, छप्पन ईंची नक़ली बलवान,
असत्यवादी, सड़कछाप उन्मादी,
भाषणवीर, शाही फ़क़ीर,
पेगासस जासूसी सम्राट, 56 इंच तोंद विराट
विस्ता निर्माता, सर्वज्ञान ज्ञाता,
किसान बिल पीड़ित, मंकी बात उत्पीड़ित,
शरदी विशेषज्ञ, एक्स्ट्रा टूएबी गणितज्ञ,…

2/7

Wknd 🧵- Modi Quotes in Movies

I hear censor board asked a producer to include Modi’s quote in his movie. I wish this was done earlier; so many movies could’ve used these great Modi quotes 😇:

1/20
Moye Mil Gaya 2/20

LotusPata Ladies

Big Breaking 🔥- The Phone Call
(read till end for phull beniphit 😅)

Helloo my phrend how are you
-I am good, great actually, so good. I am doing the best, I always do , everyone says so, like no one ever did as great as I do, it’s unbelievable.. what do you want? are you…
+ …calling to thank me for ceasefire? I think you should, you should be grateful actually…

My phrend why are you hoomilating me in public
-I saved your sorry ass, but you are being very mean to me. so mean. Everybody told me not to be nice to you , but I was so nice, always…
+

Dear Modi Ji, aap kitna bhi Sindoor Sindoor khel lo, lekin ye to aap ko batana hi padega ki:
-Why there was no security at a popular tourist stop in Pahalgam?
-Why did help not arrive for 30 mins after the terrorists opened fire?
-Why haven’t the home ministry still found any…
+ .. intelligence to arrest the terrorists?
-Why did you agree for a ceasefire when our forces were dominating over Pakistan?
-US President has repeatedly claimed he forced you to agree for cease fire. Why haven’t you called his lies out in public?
-Why did you fail to stop…
+

Special🧵- Bhagat Singh, March23

On this day, he moved on to a better place but his ideas live on

Read what he stood for & you realise if he was alive today, he would’ve started a revolution against this very regime who so shamelessly try to appropriate his legacy!
1/20 2/20

Wknd🧵Indian Media-Hall of (no)Shame

Our media needs no introduction in making a mockery of Journalism but some acts have achieved legendary status. Here goes:

1/13
Starting with Cacophony King, always very Calm, Arnab Goswami making a point about Rhea Chkravarti 2/13
Media circus about Rhea Chakravarti set many journalism lows but this one by Pradeep Bhandari was buffoonery par excellence! Mr Bhandari is now a spokesperson of BJP. I guess BJP has a thing for spotting talent

Wknd🧵-Bhakts Say Dumbest Things

Modi Bhakts are unique species. When you hear them, It’s comedy, tragedy & asinine drama all at the same time. Here’s ample content for your wknd & beyond😇:

1/25
Let’s start with with madam who ‘touched’ Modi ji & couldn’t stop crying😅 2/25
Let’s switch to an ordinary domestic Bhakt whose only job is to attend Modi rallies & negate anything remotely good that ever happened before Modi ruled India

Wknd🧵- Bipolar Modi

Modi is the great Bipolar Vishwaguru to have this unique ability of directly or indirectly embracing two completely opposite ideas at the same time, like:

- Gandhi & Savarkar

- Constitution & Sengol

- Ambedkar & Manuspriti

- Sardar Patel & RSS

1/5 - Anti Corruption & Ajit Pawar etc

- Women’s Safety & BrijBhushan

- Anti Rape & Rapists’ Garlanding

- Women’s Safety & Rapists’ Parole

- Economy & Whatever Nirmala does

- Celebrating Christmas & Burning Churches

- Fakeeri & A Billion dollar lifestyle

2/5

Wknd🧵-L&T CEO, Bollywood Connect

After “Don’t stare at wife” advice, we realize so many iconic songs might have had hidden meaning😅:

1/10
Rumor is that L&T CEO stopped watching Rishi Kapoor movies after this song 2/10
It’s a Fact that Mithun could never get hired at L&T, because…

🧵-CRICKET (Not really)
We’ve lost the Border Gavaskar Trophy. it’s time for expert analysis. Here are the top 11+1
(It’s a satire but pls read it seriously😇)

1/12
Players didn’t work hard enough. We need to bowl 7 or 8 balls per over & no lunch or tea breaks if we want to win 2/12
We didn’t lose. Defeat is just another dimension of winning, if we celebrate the cosmic confluence of spiritual whataboutery, no force in the universe can defeat Bharat.

Wknd 🧵- Hindu Muslim Diaries

Off to a holiday in Rajasthan. Had asked the hotel to send airport pickup. Hotel is a leading Indian luxury brand. They called me yesterday, here is the conversation:
He: Sir just wanted to double check with you about your flight & pickup…
+ Me: Sure (I confirmed flight details)
He: Sir one more thing, small problem. Car is from hotel but driver is Muslim, koi dikkat to nahi hai aapko?
Me: Aap ne driver se poocha, usse koi dikkat hai?
He: Nahi sir, ussey kya dikkat hogi (laughs nervously), we’re just checking..
+

🧵Why do BJP & Sanghis Hate Ambedkar?

It’s not a one off statement or a slip of tongue. They hate Ambedkar because of what he said & stood for. Here are 10 of the many reasons why they hate his guts.

1/10 Why do BJP & Sanghis Hate Ambedkar?
2/10

Wknd 🧵-Duniya Khodo Mission

SC has stayed Khudai in India but for Akhand Bharat, here is the list of countries to target for digging:

England- An ancient Gujarati queen Raani Ben (रानी बेन) built a temple in London which was demolished to make the clock tower Big Ben
1/11 Italy- Rome (obviously named after Shri Ram) had a Kaali & Shiva (काली शिवम) mandir which was destroyed by Sonia Gandhi’s ancestors to build Coliseum

Vatican City- This was another Vatika (वाटिका) Ravan had built to keep Sita Ma in case Ashok Vatika was destroyed by Mughals
2/11

Wknd🧵-10 Lows of Media on a High

Our media circus has been on a slippery slope since last 10 yrs. Here are the 10 legendary LOWS

1/10
Pradeep Bhandari chasing his tail like a rabid dog (He later officially joined the BJP as a national spokesperson) 2/10
Since we mentioned rabid dogs. Here is the campion of the rabid circus that media has become. Arnab at his rabid worst

Wknd🧵 - GDP experts
(This post is a satire but you should take it seriously)

Anti nasnals are saying India’s GDP Growth has weakened to a 2 year low, so we asked India’s top 10 experts to comment on it. Here goes:

1/10
Our GDP is not falling, other GDP’s are rising 2/10
Don’t use % etc to calculate the GDP growth, even Madam Curie didn’t use % to discover electricity

Why did Bangladesh separate from Pakistan?
Because they tried to impose Urdu as a ‘National Language’

Why is Pakistan now a failed nation?
Because Zia ul Haq changed the course of that nation towards Religion being the sole focus of governance. He suspended the constitution,
1/4 ..imposed sharia law & focused on desecularization, opposing western culture, press censorship all wrapped around religious intolerance. He was an authoritarian who killed democracy by using religion to brainwash citizens so he could rule as a king. He sold Islamization to..
2/4

Wknd 🧵- Arrey Diwano Issey Pehchano

जुमलेबाज, चुनावी कलाबाज़, रडारभेदी, बेनिफिट टूएबी, सत्याग्रही, सदैव सही, मोर प्रेम अपार, विष्णु अवतार, कैमरादर्शी, टोंटी फौट्टी सेविन दूरदर्शी, नाला गैस निर्माता, अरबी बादशाह भ्राता, दाढ़ी युक्त, लज्जा मुक्त, चर्चाखोर, क्रेडिट चोर,..
1/6 …गुफा ध्यानी, परीक्षा ज्ञानी, उत्सव प्रधान, छप्पन ईंची नक़ली बलवान, असत्यवादी, सड़कछाप उन्मादी, भाषणवीर, शाही फ़क़ीर, पेगासस जासूसी सम्राट, विस्ता निर्माता, सर्वज्ञान ज्ञाता, किसान बिल पीड़ित, मंकी बात उत्पीड़ित, शरदी विशेषज्ञ, एक्स्ट्रा टूएबी गणितज्ञ,…
2/6

Wknd 🧵- Trump’s inner circle & Similarities with India RW loonies

Trump’s inner circle is full of conspiracy theorists & propaganda spin masters who constantly feed his insecure ego. Of late, you would’ve heard of the new addition to Trump’s inner circle. meet Laura Loomer
1/9



Let’s have a glimpse in to this new Trump confidant - Laura Loomer, the conspiracy theory loonie racist

Nowadays, she travels with Trump in his plane & has unrestricted access to him like a very few other republicans

She proudly calls herself a pro white nationalist &..
2/9

Wknd 🧵-Modi Jaisa Koi Nahi

Anyone asking Questions is anti national so we found someone who nobody can stop from criticising any one- Modi Ji the Non Biological himself!

1/24
Modi Ji slamming those who announce gimmicky packages. Don’t miss the end where he slams even harder 2/24
Modi Ji warning people about the very evil & despicable red carpet culture in the country. I hope every one in the Govt is listening to this humble MO-dest DI-vine God