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Jul 27 48 tweets 9 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
the timing is *horrific*.

i have had the longest 48 hours ever and i really, really, *really* need to draft this motion to dismiss AND a sentencing memo to be filed on monday.


sixty pages, huh?
all right. i have an intro. let me see what this thing says.

wonder if i have enough paper to print it out.

gotta "borrow" a few reams from the office tomorrow.
first of all.....superseding indictments usually make defense counsel throw up. at least they make *me* throw up.

most times you know when something else is coming down the pike (something always is in the feds), but it's never good.
fam. i still laugh every time i read about 45 telling that dude from the pac that he shouldn't be showing him a classified military ops map......and showing him anyway........but telling him not to stand too close..LOLLLLLLLLLLL

so carlos de oliveira is the new guy on the indictment....apparently he was a property manager at MAL who rose from the ranks of valet?

valet to property manager of tony country club to named defendant on a federal indictment.

just *every* reversal of fortune, i guess.
I continue to think incorporating 45's past statements about how critical it is to safeguard classified docs is the shadiest use of space in any indictment (since the LAST time this mf was indicted). Image
okay wait. lol.


let me read this page again.

so in early june when the feds were at MAL, they peeped the security cameras. so on june 22, they subpoenaed the camera footage from the ground floor. on june 23, 45 calls CAO and talks to him for 24 mins. on june 24, the feds subpoena all records, images, vids, etc. relating
to camera footage, including the ground floor stuff. on that same day, one of 45's lawyers hit him up to talk about the subpoenas (PRESUMABLY TELLING HIM TO COMPLY....SINCE THAT'S WHAT LAWYERS DO).
lawyer talks to 45 at 1:25. By 3:44, someone had texted nauta that 45 wanted to see him. 2 hours later, nauta, who was SUPPOSED to go with 45 to IL the next day, suddenly changed his plans and gave everybody DIFFERENT stories about why he suddenly had to go to florida.
and at 7:14, nauta told someone he was going back to florida for a family emergency...........and used............

"shushing" emojis.
i guess typing out "hush hush wink wink" felt a little too on the nose.
so nauta and CDO exchange a series of dude-bro texts....and nauta travels to florida on"covert ops" 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫trip that no one's supposed to know about. that he told people about.
then CDO tells a valet that nauta's coming, and tells him not to tell. cause we're not telling anybody, see? and while all of us were busy telling everybody we WEREN'T telling, CDO *also* told the valet that nauta wanted CDO to talk to another employee....
about how long camera footage was stored.

this is all so stupid that i actually feel disrespected on a very personal level.


as an american.
on 6/25, nauta lands in fl, and he immediately meets up with CDO, and the two of them go to the security guard booth where the footage is displayed, and then, with FLASHLIGHTS, GO THROUGH A TUNNEL, POINTING OUT ALL THE DIFFERENT SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS.
if this is all captured on the footage i will die. i will walk the perimeter of my home 3 times and then i will just die.

you know who i blame for this?

public schools.

there is NO WAY anyone who has heard of bernard barker, james mccord, or frank sturgis would be walking around a surveilled property, under cloak of night, w/ a goddamned flashlight, POINTING OUT subpoenaed evidence to obstruct.
on 6/27, cdo goes to the IT office, pulls an IT guy (who is talking to someone else....otherwise known as a WITNESS), and is all, "lemme talk to you for a second. take a walk with me."
he walks this IT guy through that same tunnel, to the audio closet, and is all, "how long does this video shit stay saved?" and the IT guy is all, "??????? 45 days?" and then cdo is all, "the boss wants the server deleted."


i'm going to just.......go ahead and sidestep 2016 and hypocrisy and lock her up chants and that whole sweeps season. i'm going to sidestep all of that. because if i take that walk, i will actually. factually. combust.

i'm just gonna move on.
the IT guy is like, "dawg...i don't know how to do that shit. i sit in a booth. i wear a polo shirt. every now and then i maybe blow on a cartridge. i can't delete any gd server." and cdo is like, "the boss wants it deleted."
and the IT guy is like, "i don't know what to tell you." and cdo directs this man.........TO CONTACT THE SECURITY SUPERVISOR AT ONE OF 45'S BUSINESSES.

b/c *HE'LL* know what to do.

then cdo looks at the IT guy and is all, "so what are we gonna do?" Image
lol......cdo was ALSO like, "this is just, you know....between us."

burn it with fire, Lord.
then he texts nauta, they do a call, then nauta comes through to MAL. then the two of them.............walk through the bushes (hand to God, i'm not making that up. that's what it says) to the adjacent property. they whisper (and dare i say, *collude), then they--
walk back through the bushes to MAL and go back to the IT office.......

and at 3:55, 45 calls nauta.

for i'm sure what were totally not suspicious reasons *at* *all*.

cause all of this seems COMPLETELY above board.
so in july, the feds get the surveillance footage video.......and see everybody moving boxes onto planes and whatnot. then the windbreakers get search warrants and find a stash of classified docs all over MAL...we know all of that from the original indictment....
then, 2 weeks later, nauta calls employee 5 (he's the one who's been telling us all of this extra stuff, so i'm going to assume whatever deal he got is quite cozy), and is all "someone just wants to make sure that cdo is good."
which we can interpret to mean, "45 wants to know if cdo is gonna be able to keep his gd mouth shut." and employee 5 is all, "cdo is cool. don't trip off him. y'all are good. he loves 45."
then nauta is all, "cool. do me a favor and get in this signal group with me and this dude from the pac (cannot WAIT to see THIS name)--since nothing shady ever, ever happens on signal--and tell him what you told me about cdo being good." so employee 5 does just that.
and on that SAME DAY........*****donald trump***** gets ON THE PHONE with cdo........and promises him that he will *personally* get cdo a lawyer.
. Image


because now i'm screaming for real.

now i have actual TEARS running down BOTH sides of my face.

cdo sits down for an interview with the feds........
knowing FULL WELL that everybody is being investigated for everything....

and as the feds are attempting to ask him questions......

Y'all. The hyphens are destroying my life. Oh my damn.

What's KILLING me is that we all know EXACTLY how he said "never saw anything. We know EXACTLY how he said that shit. Just as smugly as you please. Image
First of all, WHO TF cuts off a FEDERAL AGENT'S QUESTION, DEAD IN THE MIDDLE, and tenders an ANSWER?!?!


does something like that?

Was his lawyer DEAD?
Literally the only way this makes sense is if this man was represented by Bernie Lomax.
This is the part where everybody named Carlos de Oliviera shoulda got real quiet and taken a second look around the room.

That "Okay" contains MULTITUDES.

Every bowel on his side of the table shoulda moved at this exact moment. Image
This man has walked the entirety of MAL...ON VIDEO going THROUGH bushes & UNDER GROUND....trying to get WHOLE SERVERS deleted to cover up everyone moving boxes...and said he didn't see not a chaise longue, not a tie dyed Grateful Dead tee, not a pair of drawals, NOTHING. Image
And that's it.

That's LITERALLY how it ends.

With that definitive denial.


Jack Smith follows with a sentence telling us Carlos de Oliveira's mama gave birth to a lying liar who lies....*poorly*-
Then closed with:

Gossip Girl
5 stars.

no notes.

wouldn't change a thing.

hope to see more exactly like it.

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Clarence Thomas's aide, Rajan Vasisht, had..........a venmo account.

A venmo account that was--inexplicably--public.
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I LITERALLY stopped working on my memo so I could read this indictment.

I am on page 24 and JESUS LUPITA NYONG'O CHRIST.

HOW this man still has the capacity to shock me after everything that's happened, i'll never know.

but I am sitting here *STUNNED*.
I'll be honest--
b/c i really DO lean into naivete sometimes. it's difficult for me to assume the worst from ppl, even when they have done all of the worst things.

so this wholllllle time, i've been thinking, "wonder why he didn't give back those docs. he's probably lost them."
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nooooooooooooooooooooope. noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.
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THAT'S what I want to do with my life. I want to be an adjunct at wherever College Hill Celebrity Edition is filming.

I'll teach literally anything.


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