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I think many women and girls learn not to say what we see, that these are the rules, the way to stay safe and not be viewed as bad or mad. Then we come to feminism and find our voices again, and see the damage that silence has done to us. >
It's been hugely damaging for this "don't speak, shut up, your reality doesn't matter" message to then become part of what claims to be feminism. It makes traumatised women feel conned and that actually, there's nowhere safe. >
Women who've told us "just be kind" don't see this broader context. They think it's so minor, not defending your own perception of reality, such a little thing to give up when it can have taken decades to achieve in the first place.
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