Matt Schnuck Profile picture
Aug 10, 2023 9 tweets 3 min read Read on X
There’s a famous psychologist who can predict divorce with 91% accuracy.

A-list celebs and billionaires go to him with their relationship challenges.

Here’s the trick he uses to unlock hostile conflicts:

(A visual thread) Image
For 50 years Dr. John Gottman has studied the science of relationships.

Research revealed: 69% of conflicts can't be solved. Image
Gottman's path forward: embrace the metaphor "Dreams within Fists"

Inside each fist is actually a dream. Image
To work skillfully with gridlock...

1. Listen to each other's DREAMS Image
2. Reflect

Are there ANY aspects of the other dream can you support? Image
3. Draw the Circles

Define your non-negotiables (inner circle) and where you can compromise (outer circle). Image
4. Practice the Art of Compromise

Is there a compromise (that you could even try experimentally...) that honors both dreams? Image
In gridlock, remember there are dreams inside those fists.

"Solving" the issues may not be possible. Working with the challenges skillfully might be. Image
If you enjoyed this thread, follow me @mattschnuck for more on EQ, entrepreneurship and growth. Image

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More from @mattschnuck

Nov 22, 2023
A famous researcher predicts divorce with 91% accuracy.

He invented a game to protect against the #1 relationship killer.

Here it is (in 3 minutes):
Actor Jonah Hill has a new Netflix documentary (Stutz) about a famous therapist.

The film details the tools Jonah learned from Dr. Phil Stutz that changed his life.

Dr. Stutz believes gratitude is the only emotion that can cut through the black cloud of negative thoughts.
Another famous psychologist, Dr. John Gottman, revealed that Contempt was the most predictive pattern that killed a relationship over time.

Contempt is criticism with an air of superiority.

But Contempt was revealed to have an antidote: Gratitude.
Read 11 tweets
Aug 20, 2023
Bill Gurley has funded unicorns like Uber and seen thousands of careers play out.

In 2018 he gave a now-infamous talk about the pattern he uncovered.

Inspired by Tom Petty, it was called "Runnin' Down a Dream."

5 steps to DREAM job success that lasts for decades: Image
This talk had such an impact on lives that Bill just announced he is leaving his full-time gig as a VC to help turn the talk into a book.

I've seen the principles work across my career and the many CEOs I've coached.

Here are the 5 main steps in Bill's formula, with examples.
Step 1: Follow obsessive curiosity

Example: Bob Dylan

At age 19, with only $10, "Robert Zimmerman" hitchhiked from Minnesota to New York City to go to the heart of the folk music movement.

His curiosity required him to be at the epicenter of his passion. Image
Read 16 tweets
Aug 16, 2023
In 1860, The Pony Express used a strategy that Steve Jobs, Sam Altman, and countless others have since stolen to create empires.

The "Call to Adventure": Image
There is a spark deep within us that wants to pursue something big and bold.

The Pony Express captured the imagination of the new West.

It invoked the first step of Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey - The Call to Adventure: Image
Over a century later, in 1983, Apple decided to bring on an outside CEO.

Steve Jobs was convinced that PepsiCo’s CEO John Sculley was the guy for the job. He closed him with one simple line. Image
Read 13 tweets
Aug 12, 2023
Want the technique Tony Robbins uses to design his life?

It’s taught by the most expensive executive coaches in the world.

Here’s how it works (and how you can use it immediately):

(a visual thread) Image
The closer life feels to play the more we are thriving.

To find missing flow, it helps to have a scorecard.

Enter: The Wheel of Life. Image
The Wheel of Life is a simple but powerful tool to assess your life.

Many executive coaches have new clients complete this in meeting #1. Image
Read 13 tweets
Jul 25, 2023
The most sought-after exec coach in Silicon Valley coached @naval and Sam Altman.

Then went on to coach the CEOs of Reddit, Coinbase....even Sequoia Capital.

Today I got a sneak preview of his new software designed to kill bad meetings––here's how it works: Image
You can’t easily hire Matt Mochary as a coach.

His clients are either the fastest-growing tech companies or the top 5 VC firms.

Fortunately, he has been building his method into new software and I got a sneak peek.
The product is called CompanyOS and I’m convinced it solves bad meetings.

As a founder, I HATE lame meetings but lack inspiration to create structure to make them great.

CompanyOS solves this.
Read 14 tweets
May 27, 2023
The Explorer's Trap is a captivating paradox that has ensnared many of the world's greatest adventurers.

And it applies to anyone with a BIG goal.

This is fascinating... Image
Explorers are often heroes.

They find new frontiers. They bring back discoveries, knowledge, and riches.

We look up to them when we are kids.

But If you are an Explorer with an ambitious goal, on the other side of your destination is a trap.
Many of the world's greatest explorers have lives that end in tragedy.

Meriwether Lewis, of Lewis and Clark fame, committed suicide after finding the western ocean for America and Thomas Jefferson.

Why?

When he came back, he didn’t have a new frontier to explore. Image
Read 13 tweets

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