mattschnuck Profile picture
Aug 10 9 tweets 3 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
There’s a famous psychologist who can predict divorce with 91% accuracy.

A-list celebs and billionaires go to him with their relationship challenges.

Here’s the trick he uses to unlock hostile conflicts:

(A visual thread) Image
For 50 years Dr. John Gottman has studied the science of relationships.

Research revealed: 69% of conflicts can't be solved. Image
Gottman's path forward: embrace the metaphor "Dreams within Fists"

Inside each fist is actually a dream. Image
To work skillfully with gridlock...

1. Listen to each other's DREAMS Image
2. Reflect

Are there ANY aspects of the other dream can you support? Image
3. Draw the Circles

Define your non-negotiables (inner circle) and where you can compromise (outer circle). Image
4. Practice the Art of Compromise

Is there a compromise (that you could even try experimentally...) that honors both dreams? Image
In gridlock, remember there are dreams inside those fists.

"Solving" the issues may not be possible. Working with the challenges skillfully might be. Image
If you enjoyed this thread, follow me @mattschnuck for more on EQ, entrepreneurship and growth. Image

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More from @mattschnuck

Aug 12
Want the technique Tony Robbins uses to design his life?

It’s taught by the most expensive executive coaches in the world.

Here’s how it works (and how you can use it immediately):

(a visual thread) Image
The closer life feels to play the more we are thriving.

To find missing flow, it helps to have a scorecard.

Enter: The Wheel of Life. Image
The Wheel of Life is a simple but powerful tool to assess your life.

Many executive coaches have new clients complete this in meeting #1. Image
Read 13 tweets
Jul 25
The most sought-after exec coach in Silicon Valley coached @naval and Sam Altman.

Then went on to coach the CEOs of Reddit, Coinbase....even Sequoia Capital.

Today I got a sneak preview of his new software designed to kill bad meetings––here's how it works: Image
You can’t easily hire Matt Mochary as a coach.

His clients are either the fastest-growing tech companies or the top 5 VC firms.

Fortunately, he has been building his method into new software and I got a sneak peek.
The product is called CompanyOS and I’m convinced it solves bad meetings.

As a founder, I HATE lame meetings but lack inspiration to create structure to make them great.

CompanyOS solves this.
Read 14 tweets
May 27
The Explorer's Trap is a captivating paradox that has ensnared many of the world's greatest adventurers.

And it applies to anyone with a BIG goal.

This is fascinating... Image
Explorers are often heroes.

They find new frontiers. They bring back discoveries, knowledge, and riches.

We look up to them when we are kids.

But If you are an Explorer with an ambitious goal, on the other side of your destination is a trap.
Many of the world's greatest explorers have lives that end in tragedy.

Meriwether Lewis, of Lewis and Clark fame, committed suicide after finding the western ocean for America and Thomas Jefferson.

Why?

When he came back, he didn’t have a new frontier to explore. Image
Read 13 tweets
Apr 6
How to avoid a life of regret.

The Paradox Map.

What it is and why everyone needs to know it:
People work hard to achieve.

Some hope there will be no stress on the other side of achievement. I did.

But stress is not a one-time problem to solve.

That is an illusion.
A problem to be solved is something that can be done ONCE.

Think of it like catching a ball.

It might be a difficult catch, but once the ball is caught, the problem is solved.
Read 17 tweets
Apr 1
A former Zen monk taught meditation to Google's top leaders.

He developed a “cheat sheet” for finding clarity in your life.

Here it is (and why everyone needs to know it):
Marc Lesser spent decades as a Zen monk.

He then became an entrepreneur and helped launch Google’s “Search Inside Yourself” program.

In his book, “Finding Clarity,” Marc gives us a cheat sheet.

It has 9 components:
Start by stopping:

Knowing and understanding ourselves takes time and effort, but it’s worth it.

The first step to finding clarity is to STOP. Create space to reset.

Practices like meditation and reflection help with this.
Read 13 tweets
Mar 28
A famous experiment exposed the No. 1 killer of high-performing teams.

Here it is (and how you overcome it):
Experiment: Which group builds a taller tower?

-CEOs
-Lawyers
-MBA Students
-Kindergartners

The answer reveals the invisible assassin of team performance. Image
A lot of people bet on the MBA students. Smart. Hungry. Motivated.

But they did the worst.
Read 15 tweets

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