Thread by @GalenMetzger1

STATEMENT ON VIOLET:

Before I begin, I want to say that Violet has quite literally saved my life on multiple occasions. There is a certain amount of good faith which I owe violet because of the relationship we had. Please keep that in mind as you read the following.

Violet and I lived in the same building last year. On the night of April 1, we were drinking at a mutual friend's apartment in the same building and ended up leaving to hook up. The texts below are from immidietly before and the morning after this incident.

For four months, Violet and I maintained an intimate relationship - ending on July 30. A confluence of factors lead to me asking to stop engaging sexually with Violet - notably, that she now lived in a different state, and that I didn't reciprocate romantic feelings for her.

Eleven days later, on August 10, I got a call from Violet informing me that she viewed that first hookup as sexual assault. I was of the perspective that I had caused harm to someone, and tried to validate her anguish over the event.

I felt - and still feel - like this was a terrible hookup, and have gone sober to never let anything like this happen again. I do, however, not have the same recollection of events as Violet does that night. I kept quiet, though, to try to be as supportive as possible.

At this point, I began to worry about my physical safety, as I saw this as a death threat. I also grew less comfortable with Violet's description of events - for example, I didn't go down on her that night because I felt sick that first night and had to leave after a few hours.

I ended up confronting her about how my memory of the night differed from hers: my recollection is that I moved to touch her, she moved my hand away, I asked if anything was wrong, she said 'no', and we did other things for a bit. That repeated a few times before I got too hot.

(Though I only have proof that I checked in to see if anything was wrong the first time in the text logs).

After this, I stop responding to her calls or texts, because it seemed like I was not able to be supportive and we didn't really see eye to eye about what happened.

After incessant calling multiple times a day for a week, I decided to talk to Violet again on August 28th. She seemed distraught, but I didn't feel like I could engage productively with her anymore.

Given how much I trusted Violet - and how close we were only a month ago - I decided to talk to Violet about the timing of this allegation a few days after I break things off and how I felt a threat to my physical safety. She said she was only joking.

I'm not going to comment on our last conversation. Please read through all of the logs, because this happened only a few days ago, and happens long after Violet starts telling other people that I've assaulted her.

Looking back and realizing that a hookup was actually way worse than you realized at the time isn't wrong. Deciding to come out and say that that event was assault isn't wrong. Violet is not acting out of malice, but a place of genuine hurt.

I took so long in responding to this because I needed to take time to think about how I felt about these events and what the appropriate way to respond would be. Posting all of our relationship drama for hundreds of thousands of people to see is a hard decision to make.

The origin of the 'warm body' moniker dates to around a week after that first hookup. Violet
left the apartment crying and went to the stairwell. I went to her and she said 'you only see me as a warm body'. I sat down, hugged her, and said 'shut up, warm body'. The moniker stuck

I'm sorry for not responding to anyone in the past few days about this. I've been starting grad school during this time, and felt like I should make a single statement concerning what happened for everyone to see.

One more thing: the dox of me was my brother's phone number. To whomever left him a death threat: just come to my DMs instead next time. He's 16 and adorable, he doesn't deserve that shit.