Peachy Keenan Profile picture
Oct 7 4 tweets 1 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
For perspective: In the last 12 months more Americans have been shot, raped, brutalized, beaten, and stabbed by violent felons and illegal immigrants in the U.S. than the total number of Israelis killed and wounded by terrorists.
If we start calling our homegrown killers "Hamas" then are we finally allowed to start imprisoning and deporting them?
Don't misunderstand: I am anti-terrorist. I am pro-Israel all the way. I'm just jealous. Must be nice to be able to go scorched earth on those who wish to hurt your people.
I am not worried, at least right now, about Muslim terrorists killing me or my children. I am extremely very totally worried about my fellow citizens/ immigrants wreaking havoc in my life.

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More from @KeenanPeachy

Jul 17
Harvey Weinstein served a very important function when it came to casting movies but few can handle this truth.
He had aesthetic standards. He had taste. Yes he was a disgusting monster, but he was a monster with a midas touch. twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
This would never have happened under Harvey: Image
Read 5 tweets
Jul 9
A reality show where authentic Native American chief knocks on the front door of rich libs to tell them their home sits on stolen land.
“Today the Shinnecock Chief will be in Southampton knocking on the doors of Jerome Powell, Larry Fink, and Joy Behar”
“Tune in tomorrow when a Chumash Chief pays a surprise visit to Cher’s Malibu estate”
Read 5 tweets
May 3
Who should I cast (male, 22-50) in my blockbuster action movie about an all-male crew forced to head to Mars to rescue the all-female crew stranded there? Let's say seven guys. One of the stranded females is their daughter etc.

Are there seven actors we even like?
In the movie, the President, @elonmusk, plays himself, so he can't be one of the crew
The seven astronaut roles:

Handsome charming MC
Super hunk who's an arrogant prick
Nerd
The Kid
The old guy
Wild card
Villain/rival to the MC
Read 5 tweets
May 2
First all-female mission to Mars followed immediately by first all-male rescue mission to Mars
100% would watch action movie about this
"In space, there's no one to hear you nag"
Read 4 tweets
Mar 16
What it means to be a good parent is to say NO to 99% of your child's ridiculous ideas.
My 5 yo told me she is someone who has to have a giant bowl of ice cream for breakfast every morning, and that is was my job to listen and believe her.
Ice cream for breakfast: no
Stay up all night on Christmas: no
Climb onto the roof and jump off: no
Use the bathtub as a lizard terrarium: no
Eat slime: no
Cut your own bangs: no
Stay home from school to see the Fortnite update: no
Drink beer: no
Wear the Brandy Melville 1 inch… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Read 4 tweets

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