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David Burge Profile picture
@iowahawkblog
Nov 8 • 6 tweets • 2 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
And the 2023 Pulitzer Prize in Mutilating Civilians goes to:
Say what you want about Walter Duranty, but he was only trying to cover up forced starvation, not actually participating in it
NYT: well of course we had to hire the arsonist, how else are we supposed to cover tomorrow's 5 alarm fire
Fall for what, precisely? The NYT *bylined* a known Hitler fanboi Gaza stringer on a false front page story claiming Israel bombed a hospital that was in fact hit by Hamas rockets. I don't think I'm the one falling for stuff, "fascist hater."

Maybe the fact that the NYT front page hospital story was so easily debunked is reason enough to question their editorial judgment and who exactly are they hiring as stringers in Gaza.
NYT: we would like press credentials for our reporters to cover Gaza

Hamas: sorry infidel no can do, but here's a handy list of approved local stringers you can hire to get some scoops for you

NYT: gee whillikers thanks mister

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
Nov 6
I take some comfort in knowing that Jew haters are the absolute stupidest people on Planet Earth
My working theory is that hatred of Jews is mostly because they won't stop busting the grade curve
by the way, can we stop using the watered-down, euphemistic "antisemitism"? Call it what it is, Jew hatred.
Read 8 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Oct 31
The thing about these people tearing down hostage posters is the sudden uncomfortable feeling of shame for the first time
When you're out tearing down terrorist hostage posters for college extra credit and somebody starts filming Image
They're like deer in the headlights, and their only reflex is to pull out their own cell phones like "uh, um, you can't shame me! I... uhm... I'm gonna shame you for shaming me!" While trying to shield their own faces
Read 11 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Oct 30
I'll lay even odds that at least one of these posts is from faculty or administration
We are witnessing 5 fucking Charlottesvilles every day, and universities are like🤷🤷🤷‍♀️
"I am shocked, shocked to find that gambling has been going on in here."
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Sep 20
The European mind cannot comprehend that the largest European soccer stadium would be the 9th largest American college football stadium Image
In my experience, major college football is the one single thing in this country that is absolutely guaranteed to blow a European's mind
Not even remotely true. The U of Iowa, as a typical example, has a $5.34 billion FY2023 budget. Its FY2023 budget (all sports) is $151 million, all self funded by sports revenue (media rights, tickets, merchandise).
Read 30 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Sep 15
I've been thinking a lot lately about the Roman Empire, especially those vomitoriums
*I of course mean "vomitoria," thank you spellcheck
I admit I was a bit disappointed to find out "vomitorium" is what they called a stadium exit, not a convenient public building for post-orgy/feast/bacchanal puking
Read 6 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
Sep 14
Dear Wealthiest Person on Planet Earth: respond to my email immediately or be prepared to suffer the unimaginable consequences
I am at MOMA. Did you hear me, motherfucker? MOMA. You better get back to me before I start browsing the gift shop, or there will be HELL to pay
Well, apparently you chose to deliberately ignore my repeated warnings, because now I'm in line for the cashier at the MoMA gift shop, with my Roy Lichtenstein jigsaw puzzle, with no email updates. I assume because bad cell coverage so I will extend your deadline 1 hour.
Read 13 tweets

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