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33 lessons every father must teach his son:
1. Do not gloat in victory.
Everyone already knows you have won. Gloating turns defeated opponents into lifelong enemies. Being gracious in victory creates lifelong friends.
Point out something they did well, and ask how they did it.
1. Do not gloat in victory.
Everyone already knows you have won. Gloating turns defeated opponents into lifelong enemies. Being gracious in victory creates lifelong friends.
Point out something they did well, and ask how they did it.
2. Do not whine in defeat.
You will gradually get fewer and fewer invites, and you will never get better at the thing you just lost at.
Every loss is a moment to learn, but if you are a sore loser, no one will want to teach you.
You will gradually get fewer and fewer invites, and you will never get better at the thing you just lost at.
Every loss is a moment to learn, but if you are a sore loser, no one will want to teach you.
3. Focus on skills, not outcomes.
Skills will compound together, and eventually, the outcomes will take care of themselves. Learn to enjoy the journey. Demand excellence from yourself.
Remember, anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
Skills will compound together, and eventually, the outcomes will take care of themselves. Learn to enjoy the journey. Demand excellence from yourself.
Remember, anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
4. No one owes you a job.
There is no shame in seeking employment, but no one owes you anything.
When people moved West, there were no jobs. But there was plenty of work.
If you are willing to do the work, you get to a point where you can give other people jobs.
There is no shame in seeking employment, but no one owes you anything.
When people moved West, there were no jobs. But there was plenty of work.
If you are willing to do the work, you get to a point where you can give other people jobs.
5. Do not be afraid to want something.
And then go after it with passion and drive.
Do not listen to people who pretend not to care or remain detached from everything. That is a habit of the mediocre. They are afraid to fail.
This world needs men with holy ambition.
And then go after it with passion and drive.
Do not listen to people who pretend not to care or remain detached from everything. That is a habit of the mediocre. They are afraid to fail.
This world needs men with holy ambition.
6. You can always come home.
Never think that you will be unwelcome. No matter what you have done, no matter where you have been, you can always come home.
There might be consequences to face or changes that need to be made.
But we can face those challenges together.
Never think that you will be unwelcome. No matter what you have done, no matter where you have been, you can always come home.
There might be consequences to face or changes that need to be made.
But we can face those challenges together.
7. When you make a principled stand, people will try to sabotage you.
Be prepared. Use it as an opportunity to prove that you meant what you said.
This is where the true test of courage lies. True leaders will be able to withstand this sabotage and affect real change.
Be prepared. Use it as an opportunity to prove that you meant what you said.
This is where the true test of courage lies. True leaders will be able to withstand this sabotage and affect real change.
8. If you borrow something, give it back in better condition (if possible).
If you borrow a lawn mower or a car, return it clean and topped off with gas.
If you borrow a book, don't bend the spine or the page corners.
Treat borrowed things better than your own property.
If you borrow a lawn mower or a car, return it clean and topped off with gas.
If you borrow a book, don't bend the spine or the page corners.
Treat borrowed things better than your own property.
9. You are not meant to live alone.
A man who finds a good wife has found an excellent thing, something more valuable than jewels and gold.
You probably don't have the gift of chastity. Most men don't.
Expect to get married and plan to take care of the children that come.
A man who finds a good wife has found an excellent thing, something more valuable than jewels and gold.
You probably don't have the gift of chastity. Most men don't.
Expect to get married and plan to take care of the children that come.
10. Attempt hard things.
Life is not meant to be easy. You were meant to be a man who carries heavy things. You were meant to try, fail, and try again. Keep leveling up.
Reject mediocrity. Take the road less traveled.
It's less crowded anyway.
Life is not meant to be easy. You were meant to be a man who carries heavy things. You were meant to try, fail, and try again. Keep leveling up.
Reject mediocrity. Take the road less traveled.
It's less crowded anyway.
11. Envy rots the bones.
You should be as happy for your friend's successes as they are. Do not resent those who are celebrated at work. Use it as inspiration instead.
And look for friends that don't tear you down when you have your own success.
Envy will cripple you. Kill it.
You should be as happy for your friend's successes as they are. Do not resent those who are celebrated at work. Use it as inspiration instead.
And look for friends that don't tear you down when you have your own success.
Envy will cripple you. Kill it.
12. Empathy is a poison.
Today, empathy is used as a power tool in the hands of the weak and immature to get their way. Those calling for empathy demand support for alleged victims, no matter what, regardless of the truth.
Have compassion instead. Reserve your right to disagree
Today, empathy is used as a power tool in the hands of the weak and immature to get their way. Those calling for empathy demand support for alleged victims, no matter what, regardless of the truth.
Have compassion instead. Reserve your right to disagree
13. Don't worry about what strangers think. They aren't thinking about you at all.
Everyone is busy thinking about themselves. Except maybe your parents and grandparents.
Which is why you should call them often. **Wink wink**
Everyone is busy thinking about themselves. Except maybe your parents and grandparents.
Which is why you should call them often. **Wink wink**
14. A reputation is hard to build, easy to destroy.
It takes years to build a good name, years for people to assume you are trustworthy and competent.
It can all be burned down in a single moment. One bad decision can erase years of goodwill.
Get wisdom and good friends.
It takes years to build a good name, years for people to assume you are trustworthy and competent.
It can all be burned down in a single moment. One bad decision can erase years of goodwill.
Get wisdom and good friends.
15. If you bristle at criticism, that's your insecurities talking.
You can learn something from almost anyone.
A lot of that learning will come in the form of criticism, even criticism that isn't meant to be constructive.
But you control how you react.
You can learn something from almost anyone.
A lot of that learning will come in the form of criticism, even criticism that isn't meant to be constructive.
But you control how you react.
16. When someone gives you a compliment, say “thank you."
This is surprisingly hard to do. You will be tempted to put on a faux humility, to shrug your shoulders or shake your head or say, "it was nothing."
But a compliment is a gift, and you should just say thanks.
This is surprisingly hard to do. You will be tempted to put on a faux humility, to shrug your shoulders or shake your head or say, "it was nothing."
But a compliment is a gift, and you should just say thanks.
17. Men and women are different.
In everything, down to their DNA.
A 120-pound woman will never beat up a 220-pound man.
Because you are a man, you have responsibilities that would not fall, and *should not* fall, on a woman.
Embrace the differences. Lean into them.
In everything, down to their DNA.
A 120-pound woman will never beat up a 220-pound man.
Because you are a man, you have responsibilities that would not fall, and *should not* fall, on a woman.
Embrace the differences. Lean into them.
18. Porn will wreck your home, your life, and your soul.
Avoid porn at all costs. Flee from it. It will sap your strength and cripple your progress in almost every other discipline. It will destroy future intimacy with your wife.
Better to poke out your eyes.
Avoid porn at all costs. Flee from it. It will sap your strength and cripple your progress in almost every other discipline. It will destroy future intimacy with your wife.
Better to poke out your eyes.
19. Never apologize...unless you have done something wrong.
Especially to your girlfriend and wife. Apologizing when you have done nothing wrong is deceptive and manipulative. Have greater respect for them.
And never apologize to a mob, real or conjured up on social media.
Especially to your girlfriend and wife. Apologizing when you have done nothing wrong is deceptive and manipulative. Have greater respect for them.
And never apologize to a mob, real or conjured up on social media.
20. Honor your mother.
She sacrificed more for you than you will ever know. She literally gave of her life, breath, and blood to mend you inside the womb.
"... forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck."
She sacrificed more for you than you will ever know. She literally gave of her life, breath, and blood to mend you inside the womb.
"... forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck."
21. Choose your friends wisely.
Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. You will be the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. You want that average to be high.
"Bad company corrupts good morals."
But the opposite is also true.
Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. You will be the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. You want that average to be high.
"Bad company corrupts good morals."
But the opposite is also true.
22. Every time you lose your temper, you lose some of your gravitas.
Your temper should be a long, slow-burning fuse.
Slights and offenses bounce off you harmlessly.
Your temper should be a long, slow-burning fuse.
Slights and offenses bounce off you harmlessly.
23. If you can learn to sell one thing, you can learn to sell anything
You are a salesperson, whether you want to be or not. You are always selling something, whether it's a product or your skills as an employee.
The core principles of persuasion remain the same.
You are a salesperson, whether you want to be or not. You are always selling something, whether it's a product or your skills as an employee.
The core principles of persuasion remain the same.
24. If you listen and ask questions, people will talk.
Being a good conversationalist is easier than you think. Just be curious and say far less than the other person.
The more one-sided the conversation in the other person's favor, the better they'll think of you.
Being a good conversationalist is easier than you think. Just be curious and say far less than the other person.
The more one-sided the conversation in the other person's favor, the better they'll think of you.
25. There is always someone better. But who cares?
You can still be exceptional, and it doesn't take much to be in the top 20% of the world. It takes even less to be in the top 20% of your community.
Don't be obsessed with being on top, but work as if you're in the running.
You can still be exceptional, and it doesn't take much to be in the top 20% of the world. It takes even less to be in the top 20% of your community.
Don't be obsessed with being on top, but work as if you're in the running.
26. Get some sun every day.
So many people are depressed and never give themselves a fighting chance. Natural sunlight is your best weapon.
Get 20 minutes of sunlight every single day, even when it's freezing outside.
So many people are depressed and never give themselves a fighting chance. Natural sunlight is your best weapon.
Get 20 minutes of sunlight every single day, even when it's freezing outside.
27. Let your "yes" be "yes," and your "no" be "no."
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Keep your promises, even if it hurts. If you put forth your best effort and can't fulfill a promise, own up to it.
Then try to offer something as good or better.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Keep your promises, even if it hurts. If you put forth your best effort and can't fulfill a promise, own up to it.
Then try to offer something as good or better.
28. Life really is about who you know.
Build relationships.
Help others achieve their goals.
Being the best at something is great. Having strong relationships is even better.
If you have both, you have unlocked one of the great, open secrets of life.
Build relationships.
Help others achieve their goals.
Being the best at something is great. Having strong relationships is even better.
If you have both, you have unlocked one of the great, open secrets of life.
29. Shame can be a good thing.
Shame is the language of your conscience. You ignore it at your peril.
And the more you ignore it, the more quiet your conscience will get.
But it can be faulty, so do not treat it as an arbiter of truth, but rather as a trusted counselor.
Shame is the language of your conscience. You ignore it at your peril.
And the more you ignore it, the more quiet your conscience will get.
But it can be faulty, so do not treat it as an arbiter of truth, but rather as a trusted counselor.
30. You are like your father.
The cliche is true: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
You probably have some of the same strengths and weaknesses.
You tend toward the same virtues and faults.
The cliche is true: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
You probably have some of the same strengths and weaknesses.
You tend toward the same virtues and faults.
31. Sometimes, a losing battle is worth fighting because it's the right thing to do.
Courage is its own reward, and virtue is never a waste of time.
Avoid pure pragmatism, and never use it as an excuse for inaction or cowardice.
Courage is its own reward, and virtue is never a waste of time.
Avoid pure pragmatism, and never use it as an excuse for inaction or cowardice.
32. You were designed and created by God.
The world will make a lot more sense once you accept this truth.
That sense of right or wrong that you feel after you do something? That comes from outside yourself.
With the image of God comes privileges, but also obligations.
The world will make a lot more sense once you accept this truth.
That sense of right or wrong that you feel after you do something? That comes from outside yourself.
With the image of God comes privileges, but also obligations.
33. Read the right kinds of stories.
Anything you put in your mind will be there forever, and it will train your affections for good or for ill.
What you find attractive, what you find good, what you see as evil...all of this is informed by the stories you consume.
Anything you put in your mind will be there forever, and it will train your affections for good or for ill.
What you find attractive, what you find good, what you see as evil...all of this is informed by the stories you consume.
Find this helpful?
You'll love the Foundation Father newsletter. Practical tips sent out every week on fatherhood, homeschooling, and masculinity.
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You'll love the Foundation Father newsletter. Practical tips sent out every week on fatherhood, homeschooling, and masculinity.
Plus, you get a free gift when you sign up!
foundationfather.com/about
And if you want to help with lesson 33 and help others read the right kinds of stories, support The Rainbow Knight on Kickstarter.
It's my second children's book and is close to being funded. A lot of great rewards still available.
kickstarter.com/projects/three…
It's my second children's book and is close to being funded. A lot of great rewards still available.
kickstarter.com/projects/three…
Like these thoughts?
You'll love the Foundation Father newsletter. Practical tips sent out every week on fatherhood, homeschooling, and masculinity.
Plus, you get a free gift when you sign up!
Join here: foundationfather.com/about
You'll love the Foundation Father newsletter. Practical tips sent out every week on fatherhood, homeschooling, and masculinity.
Plus, you get a free gift when you sign up!
Join here: foundationfather.com/about
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