Edwin H. Friedman was a rabbi and family therapist. He wrote three books.

One was a book of fables.

One dealt with family processes and anxiety, extending the insight to congregations.

And his final book was about how to save Western Civilization from itself. The book is titled "A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix," and it's a must-read for every father and leader.

It will change the way you think about leadership. You'll think twice before adapting too quickly to immaturity and weakness.

Here are 12 lessons:

23 truths about homeschooling.

1. It shouldn't take 6+ hours a day of your time. 2-3 hours max.

2. You don't have to know everything yourself to teach your kids. You certainly don't need a PhD to teach 3rd-grade math. 3. Homeschooling shouldn't be a public school classroom transplanted into the home. If it does, you're doing it wrong.

4. Flexibility is king. Take your kids to the Zoo and count it as a school day. Drive to the grandparents and let them do their schoolwork in the car.

The temptation of every mother is to treat their boys like defective girls, which is why single mothers lead to broken, insecure men.

THREAD A single mother often tries to repress her son's strength, to smother his masculinity. Either she doesn't understand what her future man will be capable of, or she understands perfectly and is afraid.

Since empathy is being talked about a lot, let's go over why empathy is a poison.

THREAD Empathy sounds like a noble goal, but calls for empathy are often.

- a disguise for anxiety
- a rationalization for failure to define a position
- a power tool in the hands of the immature and overly sensitive.

Empathy is used by those who feel powerless.

"I'm afraid I'm going to mess up my kids."

Of course you're going to mess up your kids.

The alternative, abdication, means that your children will be at the mercy of others who desire to mess them up in different ways.

1/5 You will need to ask for your children's forgiveness. Multiple times. Daily.

You will mess up. So get over yourself. Be ready ready to make mistakes and then do better the next time.

2/5

King Alfred is the only English king known as "the Great," and for good reason.

He was a warrior poet, a scholar who translated the first 50 Psalms into the Saxon language, a reformer, and a builder.

But what was his greatest accomplishment after repeling the Viking invaders? Alfred created a network of fortified towns called "burhs," each about one day's march from one another, covering all of Wessex, the last Anglo-Saxon kingdom.

He also created a new standing army. Each administrative area had to keep half of their men battle-ready at all times.

Masculine men are competitive.

Effeminate men pretend they don't care, but only when it's clear they are going to lose.

Everyone's interacted with the guy who pretends he is above it all and spouts off nonsense like "there are more important things in life than winning." It happens in sports.
It happens in dating.
It happens at work.

"Meh, I didn't care anyway. Wasn't really trying." But you know they care. It's just sour grapes.

Don't be like this.

25 more sentences that may just change your life.

1. Read old books and you'll be more informed about current events than people who watch the latest news.

2. Weak men accuse good men and are useful stooges for bad men. 3. People are desperate to trust experts so they don't have to take responsibility for their own decisions.

4. Marriage is not choosing your wife, but choosing your wife every day.

25 sentences that may just change your life.

1. All healthy marriages have a man who initiates and a woman who responds.

2. Twenty years from now, you'll realize 90% of the news you watched was false and that the other 10% never mattered. 3. Eventually, something is going to kill you, so you might as well be courageous on your way out.

4. Most men fail to be courageous because they have failed to build anything worth protecting.

Plutarch, a Greek philosopher and essayist living in the first century AD, is known for his biographies of famous Greeks and Romans.

In one of his writings, Plutarch muses on the God of the Jews, and he attempts to draw comparisons with one of the Greek gods.

But which one? Many Christians today, if forced to make a choice, might see similarities with Apollo, a representation of reason and order.

And yet Plutarch draws a connection from the God of the Jews to Dionysus, the opposite of Apollo. What were his reasons?

Education is warfare.

If you don't understand this, you just might lose your children.

The state pumps billions of dollars into public education. There are politicians in the pocket of the teacher's union.

Why spend so much blood and treasure on teaching kids? They spend so much because they want to create people in their own image, warriors who will fight for their version of "truth" and "beauty."

If they can't create a warrior in their own image, they'll settle for creating a passive stooge. The other side doesn't get a warrior.

Playing video games as your main hobby is like watching p*rn to find your next date.

False dominion and fake women are two sides of the same coin. Young men enthralled in a half-life, hooked up to a steady drip of dopamine.

No real dominion. No real fruitfulness.

1/9 This is not to denigrate video games as a casual hobby. As an obsession, however, it is crippling and numbing. It should not be a man's *main* hobby.

For better or worse, video games are the only reason we have as many literate, functional men as we do.

Why is that?

2/9

10 truths every man should know before he becomes a father.

1. Being a father is more amazing than you can possibly imagine.

It is a gift and privilege, and you can't understand it until you become one. You aren't prepared for the joy it will bring. 2. Being a father is the biggest responsibility you can undertake.

Yes, it's amazing, but it's also a huge responsibility.

You are responsible for the formation of eternal souls. Nothing else comes close.

Stay humble.

Always remember that George Washington and Robert E. Lee had more virtue, honor, and gravitas in their right thumbnail than most of their critics have in their entire bodies.

Given the obesity rate of modern America, that's saying something.

To the critics, no person from history can be a hero unless that person makes a convenient mascot for "the current thing."

They inflate the word "hero" so it doesn't actually mean anything. Everybody is a hero. You didn't beep your horn when someone cut you off. You are a hero.

5 lies about the patriarchy.

1. Patriarchy oppresses women

Strong men allow women to be innocent and soft.

Women can build and grow their household, protected behind strong walls of masculinity. Women can be vulnerable in a way that highlights their strengths.

They can remain innocent of some of the rough edges of the world, which allows them to focus on better, higher things.

Without this protection, women no longer have the luxury of being innocent and soft.

24 lessons every father must teach his daughter.

1. You don't need to act like a man to be a strong woman.

Masculine strength looks different from feminine strength. Lean into your femininity and womanhood.

We don't need more third-rate men. We do need more first-rate women. 2. Your words have the power of life and death.

Your words matter. They can cut, and they can heal. They can build up your house or they can tear it down.

Do not whine. Do not nag. Do not gossip. Do not manipulate with guilt trips.

Encourage. Praise. Comfort.

What if you suspect one of your kids has been lying to you?

The worst thing you can do is throw out baseless accusations.

Trust first. Use the words “I trust you” liberally. Reiterate how valuable that trust is. If you find proof of dishonesty, give them a chance to confess, and always reward that confession. There should still be a punishment for lying, but there should always be a reward for confession.

You don’t need 6 years of higher education to be able to teach 3rd-grade math to your 7-year-old. Don't let "experts" shame you about teaching your own children.

There are two main qualifications for teaching your children.

1. That you love them. 2. Have some enthusiasm for what you are teaching.

If you aren’t excited about learning, they won’t be excited about learning.

What about knowledge? What about experience?

What they usually mean by "experience" is a Master’s Degree in glorified classroom management.

20 more lessons every father must teach his son.

1. Don't worry about what strangers think. They aren't thinking about you at all.

Everyone is busy thinking about themselves. Except maybe your parents and grandparents. Which is why you should call them often. 2. When you make a principled stand, people will try to sabotage you.

Be prepared. Use it as an opportunity to prove that you meant what you said.

This is where the true test of courage lies. True leaders will be able to withstand this sabotage and affect real change.

9 rules for raising creative, dangerous kids.

1. Send your children outdoors as much as possible.

Children should experience the joy of discovering a real, climbable tree.

Do not let TV be their supervisor.

Don't weigh children down with busy work and mountains of homework. 2. Leave children to themselves.

Never supervise and plan out their entire day.

They need to sit with potential boredom.

This is the only way to teach them to be independent, and independent children grow up to be unmanageable adults. They grow up to govern themselves.

20 lessons every father must teach his son.

1. Don't correct people.

Let people be wrong. Pass on the opportunity to feel smart.

Unless they specifically ask you, or the matter directly concerns something under your responsibility, correcting someone has no upsides. 2. Correct people.

Sometimes, it's your responsibility to correct people, especially if you are in authority over them or if their foolishness might be contagious.

Be direct and clear. Don't be passive-aggressive. Be kind, but don't spare their feelings.