🧵 The head teacher Emma Pattison and her 7 y/o daughter, Lettie, who were killed by her husband was preparing to leave him, her sister has revealed.
Deborah Kirk said she regarded Emma’s relationship w/husband George as abusive + believed she was a victim of coercive control…
The series of powerful letters and passages published in The Sunday Times, were written after her sister and seven-year-old niece Lettie were killed.
“ …I set myself the brief of writing something each day, something honest about how I was feeling.” thetimes.co.uk/article/my-sis…
Mrs Kirk wrote:
“I am trying to figure out what the lesson is here. It does not, for us, lie in ensuring they decide to leave – because she had, courageously, got that far.
It is, perhaps, in better navigating the exit.”
Mrs Kirk described how she had seen her sister the week before the tragedy and believed she had made her mind up to leave him and would emerge as a “success story” and a “survivor”.
She added:
“I looked forward to having my sister back. I looked forward to her having a loving relationship and looking back at this with amazement that she endured it for so long.”
Mrs Pattison had only recently been appointed head of Epsom College, one of the country’s leading independent schools, when she and her 7 y/o daughter, Lettie, were shot dead by her husband, George, a registered shotgun owner, who is then suspected of turning the gun on himself.
On the evening Mrs Pattison died, she made a distressed phone call to her sister saying there had been an altercation between her and her husband.
Mrs Kirk, a solicitor, immediately drove from her home in south-east London to Epsom, but by the time she and her husband arrived it was too late and all three were found dead at a property on the school grounds.
The inquests into the deaths had been due to take place in October but the coroner is awaiting further disclosure from Surrey Police and they have been delayed.
Mrs Kirk said in the aftermath of the tragedy she had found herself wondering if her sister had been killed because she had announced she was leaving her husband.
She also wrote:
“I am still learning about this dreadful and complicated misery to which too many people, primarily women, are being subjected, but let’s be clear on the basics. Since 2015 coercive control is a crime in this country.”
Two days after a police investigation update in September, Mrs Kirk wrote about how she saw the relationship as abusive:
“It seems that it was only when external, professional voices used the word abuse that she was able to listen, to have the perspective she needed.”
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Mrs Kirk added how her sister was going to be a survivor:
“She was going to be a success story, a survivor! I saw her the weekend before this nightmare and looked forward to having my sister back.”
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In a piece written the day after receiving a “harrowing update” from the police about the investigation, Mrs Kirk said:
“We thought we knew it all but we did not. We heard the story of our dearest girls and what they had suffered not just that evening but prior to it… ”
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The collection of thoughts, poems and songs shared by Deborah Kirk shines a harrowing light on the experiences of families bereaved of fatal domestic abuse. I know many who are affected by these issues will connect strongly and send their love and support to her and her family 💜
The Sunday Times article references ➡️ @winstonswish, a charity that helps bereaved children and who is noted as supporting Lettie’s school greatly in the aftermath of this horrific event.
EVERYONE should read Deborah's beautifully written words about the killing of her sister, Emma, and her seven-year-old niece, Lettie. They give a truly powerful and heartbreaking insight into fatal domestic abuse.
“We probably spent quarter of a million quid [on a surrogate]… they have a company that basically is supermodels who are Ivy League educated… Our one went to Columbia… it’s a bit prostituty, isn’t it?”
“I think it’s quite fabulous… but we got a Brazilian supermodel.”
SIGH…
Rather than help adopt a child who needs a loving home, rich entitled men like these roam the world searching for their idea of a ‘perfect’ woman to birth their perfect child, because ‘normal’ just won’t do. Nothing says caring parents than shopping for educated/hot surrogates.
The levels of dehumanisation of women in their comments is off the charts… the woman must be ‘smoking’, she must be ‘educated’, all to produce a child they want. It is a privilege in life to be a parent, however a child is born should invoke the same care/attention regardless.
The judge said he had taken into account the guidelines for sentencing under-25s.
He said: "You committed these offences when you were aged 15 and 16, although the last offence was committed a few months before your 17th birthday.
"I consider that you were an emotionally immature young man at the time of these offences, not helped by having ready access to alcohol and illegal drugs.
"You have also suffered from some mental health issues in your teens.
Natalie Bennett, 47, was handed a life imprisonment with a minimum term of 18 years.
Following an investigation, detectives were able to prove that Bennett used a knife to stab her boyfriend Kasey following a domestic incident.
Sentencing, Judge Denis Watson KC said:
"Your relationship with him began some five years ago, when he was about 19 or 20 and you were 42.
He continued:
"It was a volatile relationship, and his family watched with increasing despair as he changed from happy go lucky to someone who drank, took drugs and whose mental health deteriorated."
🧵 A 15 y/o girl murdered on her way to school after rejecting a 17 y/o boy. Whilst some men label tackling misogyny in schools as “demonising young men & boys”, the lives of women/girls are marked by male violence, or worse lost to it. We must challenge misogyny day-in-day-out.
The responsibility to combat the scourge of violent misogyny in society is not just the work of education, it is the work of parents, family, friends, employers etc. All of whom take their cues from a govt upon high who DO NOT prioritise or properly fund tackling these issues.
The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 was hailed as once-in-a-generation opportunity to make a step change in our approach. Thus far govt has squandered that opportunity, lacking the urgency to create that change. Instead, women and girl’s lives under this govt are seen as expendable.