We have a man stuck in a decorative urn at this Mountain Brook house party. I repeat, we have a drunk man stuck in a large decorative urn at this Mountain Brook house party. Details as they develop.
He was laughing at first but now he’s starting to get upset. The women are trying to comfort him. There is talk of attempting to break the urn.
The host has dispatched a friend to retrieve his sledge hammer.
My view is obscured by the gathering crowd but I can hear the tinkering of a hammer and makeshift screwdriver chisel, mixed with the frustrated, panicked grunts of the captive.
There’s a cracking sound and the crowd cheers. He is free! The urn has been shattered and our hero emerges unscathed. Our long national nightmare is over.
People are now discussing the cost of the shattered urn. I’m hearing prices ranging from $500 to as high as $3000 US American dollars.
Urn guy is up and moving around, but now without his pants, which were apparently lost or damaged in the incident. (Everyone seems fine with this) He wants a cigarette.
He wanted a double makers on the rocks. I gave it to him and now he’s drinking alone and having a cigarette, still pantsless in the corner of the yard.
Looks like a friend is trying to usher him into an Uber. Happy New Year everyone. Stay safe out there. Remember, decorative urns always look bigger from the outside.
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