Thread by @dgurdasani1

This is such an abelist way to framing of how long COVID affects a whole family. Rather than highlighting the systemic issues that lead to CV families lives becoming smaller, it frames the risk aversion of an LC affected person as 'anxiety'
npr.org/2024/03/11/123…

Here the partner/spouse of the person suggests that a 'compromise' is needed, where the 'compromise' is basically the person with LC taking risks that could disable them forever if they get re-infected. 'Eating in a restaurant' for example is presented as a reasonable compromise

As someone suffering with LC (and extremely grateful for a spouse on exactly the same page as me), I would never compromise on this- because I know that this could very easily lead to me ending up with even greater disability- which would impact our family massively.

Yes, LC is a family issue- but the response isn't to gaslight those who are disabled into accepting greater risks, but rather creating a society that we can all live in. Please don't put out abelist shit like this.

It's hard enough as disabled people living in this abelist world, without having our very legitimate risk aversion framed as 'anxiety' and lack of wanting to take risks as 'lack of compromise'.... people who do this can frankly f off...

honestly, if you cannot understand why your spouse may not want to become even more disabled than they already are, and you cannot support them as they are, and need to gaslight them, perhaps worth looking at your internalised abelism rather than writing pieces about it.

Honestly, if my spouse didn't care about my health, and did not respect my boundaries around risk, I'd conclude that at some level they didn't really care enough for me to accomodate my needs. And that would be a pretty big deal.

Don't expect disabled people to 'compromise' and take risks with their health and lives just so you can have your outings and feel things are 'normal'. Rather advocate for systemic change, so we can all live our lives fully.

Our 'fear' about our health is not the problem - this is legitimate & real. The problem is the systemic normalisation of mass infection and a world where clinically vulnerable are at high risk doing 'regular' things... we shouldn't need to risk our health to lead full lives.

There are so many accomodations partners & friends can make that are not onerous (e.g. eating outside at restaurants). I don't understand at all why a friend/partner would insist on eating inside a restaurant when they know the risks associated with infection for their CV partner

Our family live life pretty fully - but with very sensible precautions that we're all comfortable with. I don't understand why someone wouldn't accomodate someone they lived with, cared about, loved in this way. Why would you push them to do something harmful for them?

I know that there are CV and disabled people who are in difficult relationships like this - where they are constantly being gaslit and emotionally abused for wanting to protect themselves and are sadly not always able to leave for many different reasons. Let's not normalise this.

This is a really good piece that breaks down the major issues with this terrible article. Thanks @wafmctfa for sharing.

thegauntlet.news/p/disabled-peo…