Thread by @charlieykim

Great talk and insights shared by @PeteDDavis all connected to the reasons why we don’t “commit” in a world of infinite browsing and infinite options and choices. 🧵

When asking elders “old people” the question of “What should we do with our lives…” too thematic response was: “Well, I don’t know but you should keep your options open” …when in doubt, keeping options open has become the creed of our time. (Not a privileged thing in the data)

It’s led to a two-sided problem. Liquid modernity. None of us want to commit to any person, any institution, so stay liquid so can fit into any future shape. Organizations are being liquid, giving up our loyalty to us, so they can morph.

Keeping our options open feels like a ponzu scheme. It’s become the only skill we are building: keeping my options option.

Yet - people who are happy, having impact…are the people who ignored this advice and committed…to local neighborhoods, to institutions, to a craft, to a team, to relationships. Showing their love in a day to day basis. #LongHaulHeros vs 1 brave moment

The word DEDICATE: to do something holy, to work at something for a long time. Felt like heaven, can’t control length of our days but can control the depth of our days.

Fears of commuting came up to 3 things:
1/ regret - commit to something and regret not doing something else
2/ FOMO - can’t be doing everything
3/ Fear of Association (millennial one) - in committing to something that threatens my identity

How to overcome fears of commitment (note: there’s a gift at the end of each fear overcome):
1/ give up: REGRET - 20 years from now when you make a commitment, it changes who you are, requires constellation of who you are. So much of who you are becomes the commitment you made.

2/ give up: FOMO - if I don’t commit to a thing, I’m going to miss out (so it’s a wash). Nothing compares to the feeling you have at the end of a long commitment. Nothing compares to the ben fit of long haul commitment.

3/ give up: FEAR of ASSOCIATION - constantly questioning “is this me?” isn’t the right way to look at it. Nobody finds themselves, we make ourselves. It’s made by our commitments. The commitment themselves is what makes us.

3 gifts at the end of overcoming each fear of commitment:
1/ give up regret —> you find PURPOSE
2 give up FOMO —> you find DEPTH
3/ give up fear of association —> you find COMMUNITY (joy and impact)

There’s no blueprint to fix world problems. Why does it seem that no big idea, no silverbullet ever works. Commitment leads to cultivation. 2 things not all things. It adds up if we all commit to 2 things.