During the recent Vietnam visit, given Russia's vast experience on the topic, Putin graciously offered to assist Vietnam in building "smart cities" and urban infrastructure.
Inspired by it, I made a list of posh Russian cities you should consider for your next travel abroad.🧵
While a romantic sunset, sunrise or the sun in general is not something you're likely to experience in Norilsk - a city that fields a beautiful bi-annual Biblical plague when the local river runs red, is one for sure bound to go straight to your heart (and likely lungs).
Sporting an exquisite smog bound to satisfy even the most pretentious of the coal enthusiasts, Vorkuta prides itself in a rich history of forced labor and a perfectly conserved pristine 1930s sewage system.
Sporting several new strains of hepatitis and a very diverse ethnic mix, Chita's public sanitation system and the city's vast array of culinary delights are guaranteed to take dysentery to a whole new level and make for a truly incurable experience you will not easily forget.
Magadan, sometimes affectionately refereed to by its residents as "the place I dream of leaving", managed to reinvent the concept urban infrastructure and, not being one to let the lack of cars or residents stand in the way, fields internationally acclaimed traffic jams.
Appetizingly known as "the cold corner of hell" and having a very deep hole in ground as it's main attraction, Murmansk is beloved to all for it's very sober and mild-mannered residents, which are bound to rob of sympathy any traveler that comes their way.
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In an attempt to possibly explain why 77 million Americans voted for this man, while simultaneously explaining just why it is that Europeans live substantially longer, I’m absolutely delighted to introduce the revised list of US food that you cannot legally sell in Europe!🧵
US Bread
Traditionally baked with just enough potassium bromate to make it fluffy and sufficient sugar to make the diabetes get to you before the cancer from the bromate does, US bread is legally sold as "cake" in the few EU countries that still allow for it to be sold.
US Instant Mashed Potatoes
Stuffed with enough BHA and BHT preservatives to give the product an expiration date of absolutely never, most of Europe has outright banned the product, depriving Europeans from what is otherwise a cheap and convenient way to encourage hair loss.
Multiple U.S. federal agencies (FBI, DEA, ICE and State Department) have signed a three-year contract with Oxygen Forensics, a Russian software company founded by "former" FSB agents, specializing in software for geolocation and extraction of deleted data from smartphones.
"She did the movie and it has become the biggest selling documentary in 20 years, can you believe it? The theaters are all packed. Women especially they go back and they see it 2 or 3 times."
For your reading pleasure, here’s the top reviews of documentary "Melania":🧵
The Guardian: "The whole thing was exhaustingly boring and chillingly vain. Melania’s appears an entirely airless existence [...] The two hours of Melania feel like pure, endless hell. They list Melania’s achievements in such laudatory fashion that North Koreans would blush."
The Independent: "To call Melania vapid would do a disservice to the plumes of florid vape smoke that linger around British teenagers. [...] The First Lady is a preening, scowling void of pure nothingness in this ghastly bit of propaganda. Even then [as propaganda], it is bad."
Since most of my fellow Europeans haven’t had the time or stomach to fully acquaint themselves with who’s who in Trump’s up and coming American Reich, I’ve taken it upon myself to create a short guide to the main cartoon villains and abominations of this administration.🧵
Affectionately referred to as "pure fucking evil" by her closest friends, family and by everyone who has ever met, seen, or heard her really, Kristi Noem is the woman Trump tasked with deporting people to Salvadoran concentration camps, after learning that she shot a puppy.
Married to an obscenely rich man whose children were already having children by the time she was born, and often seen wearing oversized crosses to differentiate herself from her North Korean counterpart, Karoline Leavitt is currently serving as White House Press Secretary.
Given that Trump supporters seem to think of Europe as an underdeveloped backwater where people live in underground holes and bow hunt rats for a meal, it might be worth revisiting this short thread tackling common U.S. stereotypes about Europe and American exceptionalism.🧵
While every US oligarch and official, assuming there's still a distinction about the two, likes to decry the lack of freedom in Europe, nearly every single country on the European continent ranks significantly higher than the "land of the free" in terms of freedom of press.
In a ranking that will likely worsen thanks to the US now having a Secretary of Pestilence entirely focused on banning lifesaving vaccines and bragging about snorting cocaine off of public toilets, the US has about the same infant mortality rates as the African continent.
With Russian operative and generic "Florida Man" Anna Paulina Luna now effectively calling for the dissolution of the EU, it believe it is worth revisiting just how utterly tragic EU accession has been for some of the most recent member states to join.🧵
Since tragically joining the union in 2004, Poland has barely even managed to quadruple its GDP and start what is routinely referred to as "The Polish Golden Age", likely an achievement completely unrelated to the quarter of a trillion dollars worth of EU funds it received.
Joining in 2007, moment at which it famously topped world charts in efficient governance and standard of living, average wage in Romania went from about a nickel and a smile to about $1200 net, with Bucharest alone now having a bigger GDP than Serbia and Bulgaria combined.