Daractenus Profile picture
Jun 24 6 tweets 3 min read Read on X
During the recent Vietnam visit, given Russia's vast experience on the topic, Putin graciously offered to assist Vietnam in building "smart cities" and urban infrastructure.

Inspired by it, I made a list of posh Russian cities you should consider for your next travel abroad.🧵Image
While a romantic sunset, sunrise or the sun in general is not something you're likely to experience in Norilsk - a city that fields a beautiful bi-annual Biblical plague when the local river runs red, is one for sure bound to go straight to your heart (and likely lungs).Image
Sporting an exquisite smog bound to satisfy even the most pretentious of the coal enthusiasts, Vorkuta prides itself in a rich history of forced labor and a perfectly conserved pristine 1930s sewage system.Image
Sporting several new strains of hepatitis and a very diverse ethnic mix, Chita's public sanitation system and the city's vast array of culinary delights are guaranteed to take dysentery to a whole new level and make for a truly incurable experience you will not easily forget.Image
Magadan, sometimes affectionately refereed to by its residents as "the place I dream of leaving", managed to reinvent the concept urban infrastructure and, not being one to let the lack of cars or residents stand in the way, fields internationally acclaimed traffic jams.Image
Appetizingly known as "the cold corner of hell" and having a very deep hole in ground as it's main attraction, Murmansk is beloved to all for it's very sober and mild-mannered residents, which are bound to rob of sympathy any traveler that comes their way.Image

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More from @Daractenus

Jun 18
Meet Belorussian "opposition news agency" NEXTA, possibly the thing community notes were invented for and one proudly standing as the 95th most community noted account on Twitter.

They got noted so much that I had to actually make a video about it on top of the thread..
Sometimes, they are so "anti-Putin" and "anti-war" that they get community noted for spreading very obvious Russian propaganda (typically aimed at sowing discord between Ukrainians and Romanians/Poles). Image
When they don't get called out for spreading subtle Russian lies, they get get community noted for lying about decadent Western donuts. Image
Read 7 tweets
Apr 21
Because I love vatnik tears as much as the next man, I decided to see how your average, salt of the Earth, genocidal Russian feels about the US aid.

I've summarized and sampled the main vibes on the main Russian Telegram channels, for your viewing pleasure. Image
Some of them managed to stay joyfully optimistic and show no hard feelings.


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Some want to nuke the United States of America. And Ukraine.


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Read 9 tweets
Mar 29
A Vatnik's Guide to the Galaxy

In May 2023, having had enough of the decadent LGBTQ EU, a Slovak man - whom I shall name Flipper for no particular reason, decided to deal a severe blow to the Western world by moving to the promised land - Russia.

Sometimes, all it takes for a vatnik to have a change of heart is as little as walking across 5 borders, swimming across a river into Russia, running into FSB, spending some time in the Russian penal system, and getting extradited. This will be a grand epic of FAFO and redemption.

Flipper is a trained musician skilled in playing the cello and piano and composing operas and symphonies, a talent he put to good use by creating timeless pieces of art such as "Long Live Russia" and several "Odes to Putin".

Possibly unaware that Russia has an embassy in Slovakia and is quite happy to legally welcome dumbasses such as him, Flipper made his way across Europe and eventually reached Estonia, where he figured swimming across the Narva River is his best bet.

Shortly after stepping foot on Russian territory, hypothermic but excited, he attempted to impress the FSB agents who picked him up by showing them his pro-Russian songs. Presumably unimpressed, they proceeded to beat him up. confiscate his phone, accuse him of being a spy, and quickly throw him in jail.

"They arrested me and put me in a cell with 60 people. The toilet was a hole in the ground, like an open sewer. I used to put cotton wool in my ears so that the bugs wouldn't get in, we even had rats in some of the cells and the prison authorities knew very well about it and never did anything about it" he would write in his prison diary, with much surprise.

Fortunately, Flipper would only spend 2 months in Russia as the Slovakian diplomacy was able to bring their dumb prodigal son back home.

Reflecting on his time in the Russian prison, he expressed his empathy for Ukrainian prisoners, believing that they must suffer greatly. He criticized the treatment they receive, describing it as barbaric.Image
You can find the first episode of the "Vatnik Adventure Time" series here:

For those of you more technically oriented, here's the gear he brought with him on his grand river crossing: Image
Read 4 tweets
Mar 27
A Tale of Two Vatniks

Shortly after the war began, two regular everyday normal vatniks from Romania felt the whole war thing is a little bit suspicious.

Having had enough of the lying Western media, they figured seeing is believing. They packed up, got their passports in order, and off they left their village for Kyiv, only a short 8h drive away.

To be fair to them, these are not your typical pure evil vatniks, one of them stepped up and volunteered to help Ukrainian refugees from day one of the conflict he didn't believe was ongoing. Talking to the refugees apparently did nothing to shake his confidence that the war is "fake news".

After getting past some 40 checkpoints, and seeing village after devastated village, having been almost hit by Russian rockets several times and run over by a tank, our two dumb heroes will eventually make it all the way to Kyiv. They quickly grabbed a coffee and demanded to speak to Zelensky to sort out the whole war thing.

They will end up getting stuck in Ukraine for 4 days, mostly having to sleep in their car, scared to bits by the constant air sirens, and unable to find food or shelter.

At one point, they ended up playing the role of war reporter for one of the main Romanian news channels for about 5 minutes.

They will eventually make it all the way back to their village in Romania.

"Many times I sat and thought why did I come here? It really is war" will be their last and final statement on the matter.Image
To anyone wondering, yes, this is a very real story. And yes, it's the guys in the picture.
Thinking of possibly doing a small series of stories like this.

If you got some obscure dumb vatnik story wherever you're from, hit me up.
Read 4 tweets

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