Thread by @RussInCheshire

As we enter the final week of the election, I’m going beyond #TheWeekInTory

Today, each of the years Cameron was in Downing Street. Look for the hashtag #14YearsInTory

Other PMs will be covered in the coming days

Needless to say: this is a 52-point thread!

1. Let’s kick things off with the non-election of David Cameron, a thumb with a mouth-slit who did prime minister impressions

2. Most of the world responded to the 2008 crash with stimulus packages. Cameron and his pet sadist, George Osborne, implemented austerity

3. They did this cos they thought the state was preventing growth, and Tories should destroy it so the Invisible Hand of the Market could punch us in the face a bit harder

4. Growth had been 2.6% under as Labour left office

5. Cameron and Osborne reduced it to zero

6. During the election they’d warned us they'd implement £6 billion in cuts

7. This transformed to £81 billion almost immediately, and then kept on growing every subsequent year

8. There were an average of 19% cuts across every govt dept.

9. The cuts had a “grossly disproportionate and devastating” effect on women

10. But rich, white men gained £70 billion in a decade

11. Osborne promised he’d pay down our national debt

12. The amount of debt he repaid was the lowest it had been for 300 years

13. Osborne’s chief advisors were human spork Matt Hancock, and Sajid Javid, a feral gonad who as MD of Deutsche Bank had been personally responsible for selling the obscure and dangerous financial products that led directly to the 2008 crash

14. They tripled student debt and blamed it all on Nick Clegg, a cabbage patch doll of Colin Firth that somebody had made from memory

15. The OECD found these changes made England’s higher education costlier than anywhere except USA

16. By 2022, the net returns of getting a degree in UK were “lower than any OECD country”

17. The Tories also promised to build 200,000 homes a year for 5 years.

18. They built zero.

19. Under Labour, the UK built one new home for every 14 people

20. By the end of 2020, it had fallen to one new home for every 43 people, despite human sexual reproduction remaining kinda popular

21. That’s why you can’t get a house. It's not because of immigrants

22. Michael Gove, a man with a face only a motherfucker could love, cut £7 billion from education and stopped all school repairs

23. Gove also introduced “Free schools” with a promise they’d cost no more than £3 million each

24. The Nishkam Free School in London, cost £45 million

25. Bobby Moore Academy: £37 million

26. Harris Westminster School: £49 million

27. The National Audit Office called the Free Schools policy “a waste of money” because almost all of them opened in areas where there was already excess capacity.

28. Regardless, to pay for Free Schools, the rest of us saw funding per pupil drop by 4% in two years

29. These cuts meant 74% of schools reduced their number of teachers or teaching assistants

30. That’s why your kids’ school is overcrowded and falling apart. Again, it’s not because of immigrants

31. Tories also sacked 500,000 public sector workers

32. 750 youth centres were closed, spending on keeping kids out of crime was cut 45%, they sacked 21,732 police officers, and unsurprisingly, within 6 months there was a 30% increase in injuries caused by knife crime

33. Tories froze pay for nurses, doctors, teachers

34. After Osborne’s budget - entitled "Responsibility, freedom, fairness” - the poorest 10% paid 47% of their income in tax (combining income tax, VAT, etc), while the richest 10% paid just 33%

35. Haunted trellis Theresa May sent vans around areas with high minority populations saying “Go Home”, which the UN said “stoked xenophobic sentiment”

36. Even bleached Grinch Nigel Farage thought the Go Home vans were such a dick-move he called them “nasty and unpleasant”

37. The UN also said May's Hostile Environment was “incompatible with human rights”

38. May, a tottering seabird who had swallowed a kazoo, also cancelled the ID Card policy that would have allowed us to track immigrants. Thanks, Tessie!

39. As unempoyment soared, Chris Grayling - the head of Homer Simpson and the heart of Mr Burns - was put in charge of making JobCentres help people back to work

40. So he sacked 10,000 JobCentre workers

41. He remains the main reason the gene-pool needs a lifeguard

42. Universal Credit was introduced by Iain Duncan Smith, David Cameron’s stupid-as-fuck buddy

43. He said it would take 3 years and £2bn to implement

44. That rose to £12 billion, it still isn’t fully implemented 14 years later, and it costs more than the thing it replaced

45. Working age benefits fell by 71 per cent in a decade, while "money-saving" wage freezes drove millions onto tax credits and other state help

46. Despite what UKIP 2.0 might tell you, we now have the “the meanest welfare system” in Europe according to the OECD

47. This wasn't helped by IDS defining motor neurone disease, Parkinsons, cystic fibrosis, multiple sclerosis and – yep – amputated limbs as “recoverable” and “able to work”

48. And then if you didn’t take a job you couldn’t physically do, IDS would cut your benefits by 25%

49. Iain Duncan Smith is either Jesus Christ incarnate, healing the poor and curing the leprous with the touch of his hand. Or he's a Grade-A thermonuclear moron with the moral depth of a graphene scorpion

50. By 2019, Austerity and Universal Credit had led to 12,000 excess deaths

51. By 2023, that number had risen to 330,000

Come back later for my post about 2011

All of this is covered (and fully sourced) in my book "The Decade In Tory".

And perhaps you might consider supporting my forthcoming book "Tories: The End of an Error", due ASAP after the election

unbound.com/books/tories-e…