This week and next, I’m doing #14YearsInTory, with a thread for every year they’ve been in office.
This one is for 2015, and has 69 points.
Don't say I didn't warn you...
This one is for 2015, and has 69 points.
Don't say I didn't warn you...
1. Deputy PM Nick Clegg called David Cameron a “twat” on live television
2. Steve Baker, a complacent cyborg with the ever-so-pleased look of somebody desperate to be asked if they’ve ever completed a Rubik Cube, filmed a man beating him up by the bins.
3. Twice.
2. Steve Baker, a complacent cyborg with the ever-so-pleased look of somebody desperate to be asked if they’ve ever completed a Rubik Cube, filmed a man beating him up by the bins.
3. Twice.
4. A report found the UK needed to build 223,000 homes a year for 20 years just to maintain our domestic population
5. So the Tories promised 200,000 over 10 years – less than one fifth the minimum required
5. And they ended up building absolutely zero
5. So the Tories promised 200,000 over 10 years – less than one fifth the minimum required
5. And they ended up building absolutely zero
7. They’d sold off council houses and refused to give the proceeds to councils
8. This meant councils lost billions in assets
9. And councils no longer got income from rents
10. But poor people still existed
11. So now councils had to pay housing benefits
8. This meant councils lost billions in assets
9. And councils no longer got income from rents
10. But poor people still existed
11. So now councils had to pay housing benefits
12. By 2015 we paid landlords – not tenants – £2.7 million every HOUR in housing benefits
13. A quarter of Tory MPs were private landlords
14. And you won't be surprised to learn councils began going bust
13. A quarter of Tory MPs were private landlords
14. And you won't be surprised to learn councils began going bust
15. So Eric Pickles launched a new council funding model that he said would be “fair to all parts of the country”
16. It cut funding even more, by an average of 6%
17. That’s the average: Labour areas experienced even higher cuts
18. But Tory areas got INCREASES of 3.2%
16. It cut funding even more, by an average of 6%
17. That’s the average: Labour areas experienced even higher cuts
18. But Tory areas got INCREASES of 3.2%
19. Lucy Frazer suggested selling Scots into slavery
20. Stephen Hammond made 138 chauffeur driven journeys in 2015, including 19 with no human passengers – he used a chauffeur to move his briefcase around
20. Stephen Hammond made 138 chauffeur driven journeys in 2015, including 19 with no human passengers – he used a chauffeur to move his briefcase around
21. Malcolm Rifkind offered to sell access to ambassadors and MPs for £5k a time
22. Cameron created a further 26 life peers
23. A report found 98.9% of life peerages since 2010 were given to people who had donated to the Tories. Corruption much?
22. Cameron created a further 26 life peers
23. A report found 98.9% of life peerages since 2010 were given to people who had donated to the Tories. Corruption much?
24. Only 7% of the public backed more NHS privatisation
25. A report found since 2010, privatised NHS services had increased by 500%
26. David Cameron forgot what football team he supported
25. A report found since 2010, privatised NHS services had increased by 500%
26. David Cameron forgot what football team he supported
27. We had a general election, and Cameron tweeted: “Britain faces a simple and inescapable choice – stability and strong Government with me, or chaos with Ed Miliband”
28. Is it too late to choose chaos?
28. Is it too late to choose chaos?
29. Mark Menzies – him again – got locked inside a friend’s house, fed alcohol to a dog, and then had a massive brawl in the street
30. Tories won the election. Menzies was re-elected with 49% of the vote.
31. Clearly nobody gave a shit
32. I bet you do now
30. Tories won the election. Menzies was re-elected with 49% of the vote.
31. Clearly nobody gave a shit
32. I bet you do now
33. George Osborne introduced plans for a further 40% of cuts to public spending, which he said would “boost growth”
34. And then, for the 5th successive year, Osborne cut his growth forecast, because austerity didn’t work.
35. Not ever.
34. And then, for the 5th successive year, Osborne cut his growth forecast, because austerity didn’t work.
35. Not ever.
36. The IFS found GDP per adult was now 18% lower than it would have been if growth continued at the same rate it had under Labour – before austerity.
37. Fresh from not building any of their promised homes, Tories blocked a further 27,000 homes from being built
37. Fresh from not building any of their promised homes, Tories blocked a further 27,000 homes from being built
38. Tax evasion increased, so govt closed 137 tax offices and sacked 11,000 HMRC staff
39. Figures showed 2380 people had died within 3 months of Iain Duncan Smith declaring them fit to work
40. So IDS cut a further £12 billion from welfare
39. Figures showed 2380 people had died within 3 months of Iain Duncan Smith declaring them fit to work
40. So IDS cut a further £12 billion from welfare
41. The govt’s child poverty advisors said this would increase child poverty
42. So IDS abolished legally binding child poverty targets, saying “I believe that the best route out of poverty is work”.
43. Except children don’t work. Cos - spoiler - they’re children.
42. So IDS abolished legally binding child poverty targets, saying “I believe that the best route out of poverty is work”.
43. Except children don’t work. Cos - spoiler - they’re children.
44. Tories blocked migration of NHS nurses
45. Without migrant workers, NHS recruitment costs rose by £178 million
46. That’s not wages – that’s the fees paid to recruiters. And it's why you can't see a nurse. Not because of immigration. Because of LACK of immigration.
45. Without migrant workers, NHS recruitment costs rose by £178 million
46. That’s not wages – that’s the fees paid to recruiters. And it's why you can't see a nurse. Not because of immigration. Because of LACK of immigration.
47. Michael Gove broke his foot (awww) and claimed he’d been denied an X-ray because NHS doctors were refusing to work at weekends for no extra money
49. Except the hospital he’d visited didn’t have an X-ray department
49. Except the hospital he’d visited didn’t have an X-ray department
50. Tiny, 2-year-old Alan Kurdi drowned, and for a week people remembered refugees are human beings
51. David Cameron promised to take 20,000 Syrian refugees
52. And then we forgot refugees are humans again, and 62% of those Syrians were refused settlement
51. David Cameron promised to take 20,000 Syrian refugees
52. And then we forgot refugees are humans again, and 62% of those Syrians were refused settlement
53. 3,771 more refugees drowned off Europe’s beaches that year
54. 5,143 drowned the following year. Every single one of them was a real human being.
55. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment
54. 5,143 drowned the following year. Every single one of them was a real human being.
55. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment
56. David Cameron stuck his penis into the mouth of a dead pig!
57. I repeat, David Cameron stuck his penis into the mouth of a dead pig!!
58. It was also reported he regularly hosted cocaine-fuelled dinner parties, but nobody noticed that, because of A DEAD PIG!!!
57. I repeat, David Cameron stuck his penis into the mouth of a dead pig!!
58. It was also reported he regularly hosted cocaine-fuelled dinner parties, but nobody noticed that, because of A DEAD PIG!!!
59. Philip Davies posed with nurses while holding a sign saying “I pledge to speak up for carers in Parliament”
60. He then filibustered to block legislation to make hospital parking free to carers
61. And then he claimed £4.17 on expenses for parking his car at a hospital
60. He then filibustered to block legislation to make hospital parking free to carers
61. And then he claimed £4.17 on expenses for parking his car at a hospital
62. Tory activist Elliott Johnson committed suicide after being bullied by Tory candidate Mark Clarke
63. Grant Shapps had been warned – in writing – about Clarke by multiple people
64. He did nothing about it
63. Grant Shapps had been warned – in writing – about Clarke by multiple people
64. He did nothing about it
65. Shapps denied knowing anything about it, so perhaps it was Corrinne Stockheath, Michael Green or Sebastian Fox who got the letters?
66. It wasn't. Baroness Warsi produced the letters she had sent to Shapps about it two years earlier
66. It wasn't. Baroness Warsi produced the letters she had sent to Shapps about it two years earlier
67. Lucy Allen edited a letter from a constituent to add “unless you die” at the end, so it would look like a death threat, and then posted it on Facebook
68. She claimed all of this had happened “accidentally”. Yknow, the "edit death threat" button is right next to DELETE
68. She claimed all of this had happened “accidentally”. Yknow, the "edit death threat" button is right next to DELETE
69. Summary
- State debt: 83% (up 2% on previous year)
- Foodbank users: 1 million (up 10%)
- NHS waiting: 3.5 m (up 12%)
- Children in poverty: 4 m (up 3%)
- Billionaires: £355 billion (up 7%)
- State debt: 83% (up 2% on previous year)
- Foodbank users: 1 million (up 10%)
- NHS waiting: 3.5 m (up 12%)
- Children in poverty: 4 m (up 3%)
- Billionaires: £355 billion (up 7%)
More detailed versions (with sources) of all this are in my book The Decade In Tory
It would be LOVELY if you'd pre-order my next book, due ASAP after the election
unbound.com/books/tories-e…
It would be LOVELY if you'd pre-order my next book, due ASAP after the election
unbound.com/books/tories-e…
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