I’m doing #14YearsInTory, with a thread for every year they’ve been in office.
This one is for 2016, up to the referendum.
And it has 104 points. Sorry!
I'll do another for 2016 AFTER the referendum later today.
Follow the hashtag #14YearsInTory to see previous years
This one is for 2016, up to the referendum.
And it has 104 points. Sorry!
I'll do another for 2016 AFTER the referendum later today.
Follow the hashtag #14YearsInTory to see previous years
1. Every single Tory MP in parliament – 309 of them – voted against a bill to ensure rented homes are fit for human habitation
2. A quarter of Tory MPs were private landlords
3. Geoffrey Cox, earned £820,000 in on year from second job while being a full-time PM
2. A quarter of Tory MPs were private landlords
3. Geoffrey Cox, earned £820,000 in on year from second job while being a full-time PM
4. He “forgot” to register a further £400,000 of freelance work
5. But he found time to claim 49p in expenses for a bottle of milk
6. Ben Bradley lied about a Labour council wasting thousands on an Indian call centre
5. But he found time to claim 49p in expenses for a bottle of milk
6. Ben Bradley lied about a Labour council wasting thousands on an Indian call centre
7. He said his lie was intended to illustrate Labour wasting taxpayers money
8. Ben Bradley then claimed £151,000 in expenses
9. David Cameron, a thumb with a mouth-slit, launched a Brexit referendum and absolutely all proper governance stopped
10. For 8 years
8. Ben Bradley then claimed £151,000 in expenses
9. David Cameron, a thumb with a mouth-slit, launched a Brexit referendum and absolutely all proper governance stopped
10. For 8 years
11. Leave was started by the founder of Conservative Friends of Russia. Kewl, kewl
12. Brexiteer and Tory donor Crispin Odey made £220m betting a Leave vote would fuck up our economy
13. He made another £300m by shorting the market again when we left the EU in 2020
12. Brexiteer and Tory donor Crispin Odey made £220m betting a Leave vote would fuck up our economy
13. He made another £300m by shorting the market again when we left the EU in 2020
14. Waxed skin tag Cameron promised to “bulldoze sink estates” but wouldn’t replace them with new housing, because we could all afford a home if we “work hard enough”
15. People earning the Tory “living wage” couldn’t afford a typical starter home in 98% of British towns
15. People earning the Tory “living wage” couldn’t afford a typical starter home in 98% of British towns
16. In 2016, the average household could save £2,160 a year, and the average deposit for a home was £78,000
17. It would take you 36 years to save a deposit
18. So if you started saving aged 18, you’d finish paying a 25-year mortgage aged 79
17. It would take you 36 years to save a deposit
18. So if you started saving aged 18, you’d finish paying a 25-year mortgage aged 79
19. So Cameron announced even more cuts to local govt grants for housing
20. His own mum signed a petition against the cuts
21. Cameron claimed he’d increased the funding
22. The funding had been cut from £122m to £62m
20. His own mum signed a petition against the cuts
21. Cameron claimed he’d increased the funding
22. The funding had been cut from £122m to £62m
23. The founder of ConservativeHome quit the Conservative party, saying “I’m just glad that Mrs Thatcher cannot see what her party has become”
24. Only 2 years after setting up multibillion pound Northern Powerhouse Dept in Sheffield, it was relocated ... to London
24. Only 2 years after setting up multibillion pound Northern Powerhouse Dept in Sheffield, it was relocated ... to London
25. The govt refused to publish details of how much this move had wasted
26. George Osborne cut bursaries for student nurses
27. Applications to train as a nurse fell by 34%
28. The cuts saved £800m for one year
26. George Osborne cut bursaries for student nurses
27. Applications to train as a nurse fell by 34%
28. The cuts saved £800m for one year
29. The resulting delays in NHS services and lost working hours cost over £1 billion every subsequent year
30. The Tories launched “Clean for the Queen”, which consisted of sacking refuse workers and then asking you to do the job for nothing.
31. But they did have tshirts.
30. The Tories launched “Clean for the Queen”, which consisted of sacking refuse workers and then asking you to do the job for nothing.
31. But they did have tshirts.
32. Boris Johnson wrote a column supporting remaining in the EU
33. He warned of a huge “economic shock” if we left
34. He said membership costs were a “rather small price to pay” for all the economic, social and geopolitical advantages
33. He warned of a huge “economic shock” if we left
34. He said membership costs were a “rather small price to pay” for all the economic, social and geopolitical advantages
35. But staying in the EU didn’t serve Johnson's ambition to replace Cameron, so he decided to campaign to Leave
36. Daily Mail columnist Simon Heffer begged the Tories not to give Johnson power because “he is lazy and dishonest”
36. Daily Mail columnist Simon Heffer begged the Tories not to give Johnson power because “he is lazy and dishonest”
37. Heffer said Johnson “believed in nothing apart from himself”
38. He said no MP supported Darth Bagpuss except “mediocrities on the back benches”
39. He concluded “Johnson is so self-serving that he cannot be relied on … he is not up to it, he is not straight or reliable”
38. He said no MP supported Darth Bagpuss except “mediocrities on the back benches”
39. He concluded “Johnson is so self-serving that he cannot be relied on … he is not up to it, he is not straight or reliable”
40. Dominic Cummings and Michael Gove wrote to Cameron suggesting a Leave result should be used as a tool to demand improved terms, but we should remain in the EU
41. Cameron rejected the idea
42. It's OK to scream sometimes
41. Cameron rejected the idea
42. It's OK to scream sometimes
43. A Brexiteer minister said “Boris and [Gove] don’t buy the economic arguments that we’d be freer to trade outside the EU. They don’t buy the immigration arguments”
44. So instead he said they’d decided to campaign on “sovereignty, which literally means nothing to anybody”
44. So instead he said they’d decided to campaign on “sovereignty, which literally means nothing to anybody”
45. Owen Paterson said his solution to losing agricultural workers was to force pensioners to work on the land for half the minimum wage
46. It was Osborne’s last budget, and he cut the income of 370,000 disabled people by over £3,000
46. It was Osborne’s last budget, and he cut the income of 370,000 disabled people by over £3,000
47. Osborne simultaneously cut capital gains tax and top rate tax, which only helps the wealthy
48. And he cut taxes paid by oil companies by 50%
49. Even Iain Duncan Smith resigned in protest
50. Brexiteer MP Andrew RT Davies claimed £96,000 in funds from the EU
48. And he cut taxes paid by oil companies by 50%
49. Even Iain Duncan Smith resigned in protest
50. Brexiteer MP Andrew RT Davies claimed £96,000 in funds from the EU
51. Alfresco genitalia enthusiast Peter Bone – who was aged 63 at the time – bought himself a house using the Tory "Help To Buy" policy for young first time buyers
52. Zac Goldsmith ran his notoriously Islamophobic London mayoral campaign
52. Zac Goldsmith ran his notoriously Islamophobic London mayoral campaign
53. Tories defended Goldsmith, saying Labour had accused Boris Johnson of being prejudiced too
54. Maybe they had a point, cos Johnson had said:
55. “Black people have lower IQs”
56. “The problem is Islam. Islam is the problem”
54. Maybe they had a point, cos Johnson had said:
55. “Black people have lower IQs”
56. “The problem is Islam. Islam is the problem”
57. Johnson also said Muslim women “look like bank robbers”
58. And he called gay men “tanktopped bumboys”
59. And he said same-sex marriage was like sex involving “three men and a dog”
58. And he called gay men “tanktopped bumboys”
59. And he said same-sex marriage was like sex involving “three men and a dog”
60. The year before, Cameron had said “If we’re to beat corruption we need transparency”
61. Panama Papers revealed his family had directly benefitted from – and in some cases arranging – wholesale tax avoidance
62. So the PM’s office said “that is a private matter”
61. Panama Papers revealed his family had directly benefitted from – and in some cases arranging – wholesale tax avoidance
62. So the PM’s office said “that is a private matter”
63. Cameron's mother also used a dodge to hand him hundreds of thousands £100,000 in a way that could save him £80k of tax
64. Over 200,000 tax-avoiding offshore accounts were revealed in the Panama Papers
65. Dozens of Tory MPs, peers and donors were named
64. Over 200,000 tax-avoiding offshore accounts were revealed in the Panama Papers
65. Dozens of Tory MPs, peers and donors were named
66. The cost to the treasury of this lost tax is £119bn – that’s like £3600 every hour since the woolly mammoth went extinct
67. Total cost of benefit fraud is £1bn
68. So the Tories committed 10x as many resources to chasing benefit fraud as they do for tax evasion
67. Total cost of benefit fraud is £1bn
68. So the Tories committed 10x as many resources to chasing benefit fraud as they do for tax evasion
69. Between 2010 and 2020, the UK brought only 11 prosecutions for offshore tax offences
70. On to John Wittingdale, who was revealed to be having a relationship with a sex worker
71. He claimed he’d never asked what she did for a living
70. On to John Wittingdale, who was revealed to be having a relationship with a sex worker
71. He claimed he’d never asked what she did for a living
72. And then Wittingdale voted against legislation to restrict Lap Dancing clubs
73. Tories were fined for breaking electoral funding rules
74. They said it was an “isolated mistake”
75. It had happened in 79 constituencies at the same time
73. Tories were fined for breaking electoral funding rules
74. They said it was an “isolated mistake”
75. It had happened in 79 constituencies at the same time
76. Boris Johnson promised leaving the EU would slash our gas bills
77. The next year energy bills rose by the maximum amount permitted by the regulator
78. Johnson did his £350 million claim
79. The UK Stats Authority warned him 4 times not to repeat it, because it’s a lie
77. The next year energy bills rose by the maximum amount permitted by the regulator
78. Johnson did his £350 million claim
79. The UK Stats Authority warned him 4 times not to repeat it, because it’s a lie
80. He repeated it regardless
81. Gove said “People in this country have had enough of experts”
82. I think he meant exports
83. Tory peer Digby Jones said “not a single job will be lost” as a result of Brexit
81. Gove said “People in this country have had enough of experts”
82. I think he meant exports
83. Tory peer Digby Jones said “not a single job will be lost” as a result of Brexit
84. By 2019 the UK lost at least 436k jobs as a direct result of Brexit, costing the Treasury £3.7bn in lost income tax
85. Daniel Hannan promised council tax bills would fall by 60% as soon as we didn’t have to pay EU membership. I can't wait for my rebate!!
85. Daniel Hannan promised council tax bills would fall by 60% as soon as we didn’t have to pay EU membership. I can't wait for my rebate!!
86. Hannan also promised we would not leave the Single Market or Currency Union
87. Chris Grayling promised “We will maintain a free-flowing border at Dover. We will not impose checks”. Big fat nope to that one, Grayling!
87. Chris Grayling promised “We will maintain a free-flowing border at Dover. We will not impose checks”. Big fat nope to that one, Grayling!
88. Vote Leave sent a leaflet to every household promising “There is a free trade zone from Iceland to Turkey and the Russian border and we will be part of it”
89. That's what we voted for. Any idea why we're angry?
89. That's what we voted for. Any idea why we're angry?
90. Brexiteers began a plot to get rid of Cameron, with one MP saying “All we have to do is catch the prime minister with a live boy or a dead girl and we are away”
91. Apparently dead pigs don’t count
91. Apparently dead pigs don’t count
92. Due to a flurry of misinformation from Russia, Brits now estimated immigrants took 30% of total child benefit
93. It was actually 0.3%
94. And we thought immigrants cost us £50bn a year
95. They actually added £8.5bn to our economy
93. It was actually 0.3%
94. And we thought immigrants cost us £50bn a year
95. They actually added £8.5bn to our economy
96. Tories promised leaving the EU would return fishing to UK waters
97. But Tories had privatised our industrial fishing licences, and 79% of them were in foreign hands, which had nothing to do with Europe.
98. We did that. Tories did.
97. But Tories had privatised our industrial fishing licences, and 79% of them were in foreign hands, which had nothing to do with Europe.
98. We did that. Tories did.
99. Jo Cox was murdered, and an appeal raised £1m for her family
100. Tory councillor Dominic Peacock posted on Facebook “I’ve just donated the steam off my piss”
101. Vote Leave won
100. Tory councillor Dominic Peacock posted on Facebook “I’ve just donated the steam off my piss”
101. Vote Leave won
102. David Cameron whistled a happy tune as he left us all to clean up his shit
103. It was like an arsonist being led from the dock and pausing to give us a quick chorus of “Agadoo”
103. It was like an arsonist being led from the dock and pausing to give us a quick chorus of “Agadoo”
104. Summary of Cameron years (compared with 2010):
- State debt as % of GDP: 83% (up 23%)
- Foodbank users: 1.2 million (up 2900%)
- NHS waiting list: 3.9 m (up 55%)
- Children in poverty: 4.1 m (up 32%)
- Total wealth of UK billionaires: £390 billion (up 63%)
- State debt as % of GDP: 83% (up 23%)
- Foodbank users: 1.2 million (up 2900%)
- NHS waiting list: 3.9 m (up 55%)
- Children in poverty: 4.1 m (up 32%)
- Total wealth of UK billionaires: £390 billion (up 63%)
There is one of these threads for each year since 2010 (look for the hashtag #14YearsInTory. And more coming over the coming days.
Please back my forthcoming book “Tories: The End of an Error”, due ASAP after the election. Ta!!
unbound.com/books/tories-e…
Please back my forthcoming book “Tories: The End of an Error”, due ASAP after the election. Ta!!
unbound.com/books/tories-e…
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
