Thread by @MeatCubie

Since The Motherland has been banned from the #Olympics2024Paris, #Cubie has decided to host his own Olympic games based on Russian specialty events!
Come along and see the prowess of the Motherland's finest!
#CubieGames2024
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First up is the drone evasion event!
Basically it's an obstacle course where competitors have to not only complete the obstacle course, but also not get Merc'd by FPV Drones. What a delight!
#CubieGames2024
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Second up, we have the Motorcycle Rally!
Here again, it's a motorcycle race, all while being chased by FPV Drones intent on making more #Cubie's!
#CubieGames2024
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Thirdly, we have the not dying of dysentery event.
This is more of a lowkey event, but will really show the physical fortitude of all the participants!
#CubieGames2024
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Fifthly, we have an event solely for officers.
This event mainly focuses on the mental prowess of Russian officers, to lie about their battlefield progress, all the while embezzling money from the Military before getting caught.
#CubieGames2024
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Sixthly we have the ever popular distance jump.
Competitors wait for their vehicle to be blown up and attempt to get the longest toss! Scoring includes a style component based on the grace of the competitor in mid air and the landing.
#CubieGames2024
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Seventh, we have the battlefield suicide event.
Competitors need to show creativity and style in order to get a hole in one in this event ;) Musical accompaniment is allowed but not mandatory!
#CubieGames2024
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The Eighth event is the mine detection event.
Pretty straight concept. Survivor wins.
#CubieGames2024
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Finally but not least-ly, we have the Black Sea Fleet event.
Basically the competitors have to outrun the RC suicide boats as long as possible. Longest time before getting caught wins.
#CubieGames2024
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Thus concludes the #CubieGames2024 events lineup! The Motherland cares not if the world looks towards Paris in the coming weeks. She knows that Russia is better than everyone at everything!
/FIN