Thread by @HodariNundu

Ok folks, you asked for it. Here's my NSFW, totally scientifically sound hypothesis. Please be 18 or something. Also, feel free to read this in David Attenborough's voice for better effect. I guess Kenneth Branagh's voice is ok too. Let's get into it.

This is Hypnovenator- the sleep hunter. At only 1 m long, it is an opportunistic omnivore that feeds mostly on small animals. This male's bold coloration and eye catching tail fan evolved originally to court females. He is a talented dancer.

Sometimes, however, his dance attracts a different kind of attention. A giant male tyrannosauroid- the apex predator in its ecosystem. A predator like this could eat a Hypnovenator in one bite.

Amazingly, however, the Hypnovenator does not run away. Not only it stands its ground; it starts to dance for the newcomer.

Over time, the giant tyrannosauroids have learned that these small theropods with the dance moves, the flashy stripes and hypnotizing tail fan, are friends, not food. He lays down, and allows the Hypnovenator to clean it.

This behavior might seem surprising, but the truth is a Hypnovenator would barely be a meal for this giant. Instead, it provides a valuable service ridding him from parasites, such as Deinocroton draculi ticks, which can make his life quite difficult and even transmit disease.

The cleaning service is thorough, and may last a couple hours. The giants enjoy this treatment so much they often fall asleep, letting the Hypnovenator work as it pleases.

A male Hypnovenator with an established cleaning station is very attractive to females. He allows them to participate in the cleaning, providing them with a meal, and proving that he is skilled enough to keep even a fearsome predator satisfied.

However, as more and more Hypnovenator males master this skill, competition increases. At some point, the cleaning station became the norm, and some males started to get more creative in their attempts to impress potential mates.

By carefully stimulating the giant's cloacal area, the Hypnovenator causes it to extrude its giant member, which is as big as he is. And now its time for it to obtain a coveted aphrodisiac.

It's a risky operation, but eventually he succeeds. A large male tyrannosauroid can ejaculate over 100 mg of sperm.

The male's boldness is now proven to the females. But scientists have discovered also that the spermine contained in the tyrannosauroid's semen acts as a pheromone, turning him irresistible. For now, this gives him a huge edge over his comeptitors.

Sadly, a dromeosaur with big, sharp teeth will evolve to mimic Hypnovenators- and he has no interest in ticks or perfume. After too many painful experiences, the clients will learn to avoid Hypnovenators, or even step on them, putting an end to this fascinating behavior.

May this art be a cautionary tale for paleontologists around the world. Dyslexia is a thing and an artists hunt for inspiration never sleeps. :B

(Proof that y'all brought this upon yourselves)

Please retweet. You have seen this now and there's nothing you can do about it. May as well spread the horror to others so that at least you're not alone.