Swann Marcus Profile picture
Aug 7 3 tweets 1 min read Read on X
Cori Bush may have been a total moron who legitimately is the dumbest human to ever be in congress, but in her defense, she's also a corrupt hypocrite who is under investigation for spending an insane amount of campaign money on private security

Wait where was I going with this?
Fun fact: In 2021, every member of congress who spent more on security than Bush was a Senator, not a House member, and she spent 3 times as much on private security as the second most spent by any other member of the House

And one of the security guards she paid is her husband
Also, if you look at the Senators who spent more on security than Bush, there are obvious reasons for most of them to spend so much

Ossoff and Warnock both spent a ton on security because of how insane Georgia got when Trump was publicly threatening every politician in the state

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More from @SwannMarcus89

Aug 8
One of the most fucked up things ever was how "a dingo ate my baby" became a meme in the '80s because everyone thought there was no way that woman's baby was actually eaten by a dingo and then it turned out years later that, no, a dingo did, in fact, eat her baby
Imagine screaming about your baby getting killed by a wild animal and then people around the world make fun of you for years and years and years because the word "dingo" sounds funny
People outside Australia clearly thought something called a "dingo" couldn't possibly be that dangerous, but I'll never understand how Australians themselves thought it was unbelievable that one of these fuckers might eat a baby


Image
Read 4 tweets
Jul 29
I maintain that the funniest political event of my life was the time the Chilean left won a veto-proof supermajority to rewrite the constitution, wrote something insane, and lost by 23, and then the Chilean right won a veto-proof supermajority to rewrite the constitution, wrote something insane, and lost by 12, and then everyone just gave up
Giving the far-left a supermajority, deciding they suck, and then giving the far-right a supermajority and deciding they suck so you wind up right back where you started with absolutely nothing having changed is pretty much the platonic ideal of South American politics
I will never forget the part of the left-wing constitution that guaranteed a right to "culturally-relevant food" and didn't bother explaining what the fuck that right entailed anywhere in the 172 page long draft document
Read 6 tweets
Jul 1
This whole Oakland prostitution, drugs, and straw donations scandal has once again proven my longtime argument hat West Coast progressives are the most corrupt political movement in America and nobody admits it because the media agrees with the politics of the criminals
They'll report on individual stories about West Coast politicians when yet another FBI raid happens, but nobody ever links all these stories together and says "gee, the West Coast is clearly the most corrupt place in America. I wonder if the political landscape enables this"
It's just laughable at this point. Seattle gave a $3 million no-bid contract to an organization whose president spent two decades in prison for taking part in the gang rape of a pregnant 17 year old and I had to personally break that story because Seattle media didn't notice it
Read 5 tweets
Jun 18
The year is 2004: Homelessness nonprofits in San Francisco have cheated the city using fake invoices and nepotistic hiring practices

The year is 2014: Homelessness nonprofits in San Francisco have cheated the city using fake invoices and nepotistic hiring practices

The year is 2024: Homelessness nonprofits in San Francisco have cheated the city using fake invoices and nepotistic hiring practicesImage
There was literally a story that was identical to this one (right down to fake invoices and nepotistic hiring practices) that The Standard wrote about like three weeks ago and I had to do a double take when I realized it was an entirely different nonprofit lol
I've been talking to an agent about writing a book. I gave them a great pitch that they really liked, but their first idea was for me to write about nonprofits and I told them you couldn't do a book on the subject because every fuck up is exactly the same and you'd just wind up writing "and then the felons they failed to background check stole all the money" over and over again for 300 pages
Read 6 tweets
May 24
Nobody would remember Rittenhouse if people didn't lie about his case, try to get him convicted for obvious self-defense, and then continue lying about him for years after that

You made this kid famous. It is your fault he's a right-wing celebrity
There were actual people who got away with murder in the summer of 2020. People just don't talk about them because they were leftists
My favorite was when people tried to make Rittenhouse's "victims" into sympathetic figures fighting for racial justice when one was a child rapist and one was convicted of domestic violence after choking his brother and holding a knife to his throat

Read 4 tweets
May 19
I want Javier Milei to crush Argentina's inflation because it would be unbelievably funny if the Peronists fucked that country up so badly that an anarcho-capitalist sex guru who uses a medium to channel Ayn Rand's ghost through his multiple cloned dogs became a national hero
Imagine this guy being the best president in your country's history. It would solidify Argentina's meme status for all time Image
Holy shit, imagine if the anarcho-capitalists had a successful leader before the Marxists did. They would never live that down
Read 4 tweets

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