Thread by @UpshotTowers

When Roman Abramovich sold Chelsea, the fans feared the worst.

And it turns out they were right! Todd Boehly's two year reign has been an absolute shitshow.

From 42 man squads to Tuchel's sordid secret, this is the story of Chelsea's takeover from hell...

In May 2022, white-toothed soccer chad Todd Boehly buys Chelsea from Roman Abramovich.

Keen to prove he's not a clueless yank, he proposes his dream starting line up to Thomas Tuchel's backroom team.

It has 12 players laid out in a rare 4-4-3 formation.

Soon Tuchel and Boehly are clashing. Boehly brands him a "nightmare" and the pair stop speaking entirely.

Although Todd's not the only one Tuchel rubs up the wrong way.

In August, a post-match handshake with Antonio Conte turns into a macho death grip.

Weeks later, during a game against West Ham, Thomas Tuchel's half-time team talk is interrupted by a knock at the dressing room door.

Todd Boehly wants to bring a group of friends - including children - to meet the team.

Tuchel refuses the ridiculous request.

Three days later, Chelsea sack Tuchel.

The fans are shocked, and rumours surface that the German lost the dressing room for "mysterious off-field reasons".

His ex-wife Sissi tries to spill the beans, but Tuchel takes her to court.

He's quickly replaced by Graham Potter, who shells out for a trendy makeover.

He grows designer stubble, gets his hair trimmed and swaps his musty tracksuit for a blazer and turtleneck.

And Potter's not the only one spunking cash...

When the January transfer window opens, Boehly spends big.

He splashes out £300m, outspending the French, Spanish, German and Italian leagues combined.

The dressing room is now so crowded, players have to sit on the floor and get changed in the corridor.

As Chelsea slip into the bottom half of the table, frustrations boil over.

After giving it large to the West Ham lot, Blues fan Billy Tarbuck is knocked out by an unexpected haymaker.

The humiliated youngster is wheeled by paramedics through a sea of jeering West Ham fans.

Back in the boardroom, Todd Boehly looks clueless again.

According to gossip newsletter Popbitch, he tells a group of agents that Chelsea have a guaranteed place in the Champions League.

"We're in it every year" he laughs, before they break the bad news...

As he clings on to his job, Graham Potter resorts to some very forced swearing to impress the Blues faithful.

"We'll try and win the... fucking Champions League", he stutters at a fan forum.

He's sacked with the joint-worst record in Chelsea's Premier League history.

Desperate to stop the rot, Boehly turns to the finest footballing mind he knows: James Corden.

The comedian persuades him to appoint Frank Lampard as caretaker boss.

Lampard loses his first 6 games, chalking up an even worse record than Potter...

After more league humiliation, Boehly delivers an hour-long bollocking to the Chelsea squad, branding them "embarrassing".

And he appoints Mauricio Pochettino as manager.

But after turning results around and securing a respectable 6th, Poch is ditched for Enzo Maresca.

The new gaffer's summer is spoiled when midfielder Enzo Fernandez films himself singing a racist chant.

The lyrics attack the French squad - including some of his Chelsea teammates, who unfollow him on Instagram.

Maresca makes Fernandez the new Chelsea captain.

And Enzo has a job on his hands...

Another summer of frivolous spending leaves the Blues with a bloated squad of 42 players.

It means Todd Boehly has spent more on transfers in two years than most clubs have in their entire history.

As the club release footage from pre-season, fans joke that Chelsea's training ground looks like a gym on January 1st.

If you enjoyed that, you'll love our new podcast on Arsenal wild 90s.

The club was ruled by a riotous ring of boozers like Tony Adams, Ray Parlour and Paul Merson.

From machete-wielding gangsters to stints in the slammer, meet the Gooners Gone Wild…

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