Thread by @JoolzDenby

A Man’s Guide To The Menopause.

A man asked me what the Menopause was like: let’s imagine your nuts dropped off aged 40. Your GP only suggests losing weight as a cure for your consequent physical and mental disintegration.

You beg for testosterone, and get told you don’t need it. You try again and the GP says ‘oh libido gone? The wife complaining? OK but only this very weak cream to rub on your dick’. You say - joint & muscle pain, headaches, depression, tinnitus,

brain fog, exhaustion etc etc. GP says, ‘try yoga’.

You go private at vast expense. They give you blood tests. Testosterone. You feel immediately better but you can’t afford to continue. Your GP won’t do the same because they haven’t read up

on the Manopause, so it’s a ‘mental problem’ and they prescribe SSRIs which can increase suicidal ideation. You despair. Finally a new GP agrees to help with testosterone patches but no regular blood work or any check ups etc.

You grab it because you need to work, to have relief from the pain etc. Meanwhile you watch young comedians doing jokes about Manopausal old men getting in a state and you think: as I am so will you be and you won’t be joking then, doilem.

Then it’s Manopause Day and the jokes redouble. Your best mates nuts drop off and he is in a terrible state so you help him with your experiences. He helps his brother. Who helps his colleague. You all get called stupid old bastards.

You cry in the bathroom and your wife says ‘is that you moaning again, Christ, how long is this going on for?’. Then she fucks off with a younger guy who still has his nuts. You are alone with the kids and your job is now extra precarious.

You have a mini rant about it on Facebook and someone suggests you lose weight and try Yoga.

There you go, boys. That’s the Menopause.